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The Worst Twitter Party Ever
Avitable’s Updates for March 12, 2009:

Hey everybody, I’m having a Twitter party tonight at 9PM! #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:01 AM from TweetDeck

@MissBritt Oh, you’ve already got something? That’s cool. Have fun! #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:03 AM from TweetDeck in reply to MissBritt

@KarenSugarpants Yeah, maybe you can stop by mine, too. We’ll be here, rocking out. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:04 AM from TweetDeck in reply to KarenSugarpants

@HelloHaHaNarf I understand. No worries. We’ll have plenty of people come, I’m sure. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:06 AM from TweetDeck in reply to HelloHahaNarf

We’re going to have music through and virtual booze and play party games – is there anyone I didn’t invite? #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:18 AM from TweetDeck

@TemptingMama It will be going from 9 until someone calls the cops! #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:29 AM from TweetDeck in reply to TemptingMama

@AnissaMayhew Oh, you’re hosting a sex toy party tonight? I hope my party doesn’t eclipse yours! Sorry about the conflict. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:11 AM from TweetDeck in reply to AnissaMayhew

@KarlErikson You have a radio show tonight? Damn, sorry you won’t make it. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 11:36 AM from TweetDeck in reply to KarlErikson

@Snackiepoo Can’t you masturbate AND come to my party? You’re a multitasker and you can just write “stewardesses” over and over again. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 11:49 AM from TweetDeck in reply to Snackiepoo

My guest list is filling up – DM me if you want to attend my awesome kick ass Twitter party tonight at 9! #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 12:59 PM from TweetDeck

@RedneckMommy I know that your husband’s only in town for three days, but how long can sex really take? 10-15 minutes max? #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 1:04 PM from TweetDeck in reply to RedneckMommy

@MochaMomma ER hasn’t been canceled yet? Can’t you just record it and watch it later? #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 2:23 PM from TweetDeck in reply to MochaMomma

Countdown: 30 minutes until partay time! #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 8:32 PM from TweetDeck

Alright! Time to start the party! Everybody help yourself to some booze – #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:00 PM from TweetDeck

@BoringAccountant Umm, hi. Thanks for coming! I didn’t even know you were one of my Twitter friends. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:02 PM from TweetDeck in reply to BoringAccountant

@ThatNerdyGuyFromHighSchool Of course you didn’t have anything better to do tonight! Why would I be surprised? #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:04 PM from TweetDeck in reply to ThatNerdyGuyFromHighSchool

@BoringAccountant No, I don’t really know much about FairTax. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:05 PM from TweetDeck in reply to BoringAccountant

@HomelessGuy How did you get in here? No, we don’t have any rotgut. Go talk to @BoringAccountant. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:12 PM from TweetDeck in reply to HomelessGuy

@Margalit Why would you even want to come to this? I hate you and think you’re a stupid, self-righteous cunt! Sigh. Have some virtual booze. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:33 PM from TweetDeck in reply to Margalit

@DentalSurgeon It’s great to meet you. Thanks for coming to my party! I really don’t want to post a picture of my teeth right now, though. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:49 PM from TweetDeck in reply to DentalSurgeon

@DungeonMaster4300 This isn’t that type of party. No roleplaying here. Go cast your magic missile somewhere else. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 9:55 PM from TweetDeck in reply to DungeonMaster4300

@HomelessGuy Dude, stop talking about the government. They’re not tapping into your brains. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:04 PM from TweetDeck in reply to HomelessGuy

@Margalit Really? You’re going to attack @HomelessGuy because he’s homeless? I hope you get hit by a car. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:10 PM from TweetDeck in reply to Margalit

@AryanNashun Hi there. I think maybe you should leave. We don’t want your kind at my party. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:29 PM from TweetDeck in reply to AryanNashun

Oh great. @AryanNashun just posted a picture of his butthole and now he and @Margalit are having cybersex. My party guests suck. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:43 PM from TweetDeck

@BoringAccountant @DentalSurgeon @HomelessGuy No, I wasn’t talking about you guys. Come back! I’ll break out Twister or Scrabble! #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:43 PM from TweetDeck

@DungeonMaster4300 Actually, you were one of the people I was talking about. I really don’t want to pretend that I’m a female elf. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 10:44 PM from TweetDeck in reply to @DungeonMaster4300

This is a worse party than the Cinco de Mayo party where I gave everyone Montezuma’s Revenge. I’m going to bed. #Adam’sKickAssParty
Sent at 11:38 PM from TweetDeck

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45 Replies to “The Worst Twitter Party Ever”

  1. bluepaintred

    No offense…..actually, strike that, people will take offense anyway…. These twitter parties, the hashtag shit and all of the stupid TV show recaps are ruining Twitter. It gets to the point that by sixPM (my time) there is no point in logging onto twitter anymore.


  2. Faiqa

    You need ot get over yourself and how jealous you are of me and start inviting me to your cyber parties. That was just a bullshit move on your part…and, LMAO at the Margalit stuff. You so wrong.

  3. cris

    Fuck you you fucking Fuck! I never got an invitation to your kick ass twitter party and I SO would have shown up… wait do you have to have phone texting to twitter? Sorry, I didn’t get that feature because I feared it would put blisters on the thumb I use for self stimulation.

    OK, no harm no foul. I guess. Sorry for the bad language response at first. I am ready to shake hands and be friends again.

  4. sam {temptingmama}

    :finger: You’re just jealous you couldn’t keep up. 😉

    For the record, I’d totally got to your twitter party! LOL

    And I spit coffee all over my computer at teh Margalit stuff. Dude, you were SPOT on! That was fuckin’ AWESOME.

  5. Avitable

    Undomestic Diva, I know. You were washing your hair, right?

    Poppy, there was no invitation, just links on Twitter about it.

    Amanda, you obviously didn’t reply to my open invite!

    Hilly, heh. Glad you enjoyed it!

    BPR, I agree with you completely. It was actually pretty frustrating and obnoxious.

    BE Earl, if you weren’t sure about Twitter before, last night would have scared you off forever.

    Faiqa, it was an open invite. You’re an old pregnant lady, though, so you were probably in bed.

    Whall, wat r u talking abt lol?

    Kevin, I’m a party in a box.

    VDog, is cracker a good thing?

    Borys, Twitter takes some getting used to. It’s easy to get sick of it, though!

    SciFiDad, you’re just sad that you didn’t make it to my awesome party.

    LeSombre, no! I want to be gay Legolas!

    Sybil, Twitter Parties are when people get together and take over Twitter like a mob.

    Karen, why can’t you and your posse move somewhere warm already?

    Cris, you can use a website for Twitter, too!

    Sam, I’m totally jealous.

    Hello, with me, every day is Funny Friday!

    NYCWD, oh, go do a search for #edenfantasys and see the massive clusterfuck!

    Britt, you should get some type of award or commendation!

    Metalmom, you’re one of the lucky ones.

  6. Avitable

    Finn, how you don’t have a DVR is beyond me. Crazy woman.

    Sheila, you realize it’s a fake series of tweets, right?

    Grant, the Hulk Vs. cartoons?

    Robin, it just allows for easier searching and there are sites like where you can view all tweets about one hashtag like a chatroom almost.

    Sheila, there was a Twitter sex toy party last night. Search for #edenfantasys. I was just making fun of it.

  7. Elizabeth Kaylene

    Ha ha ha, I had a ball on Twitter that night and I didn’t even attend the sex toy party! Actually, when I first found out about the sex toy party, I was at work. You can just imagine my horror and scrambling to clear Firefox’s browsing history. Heh.

    Anyway, I’m gonna have to throw my own Twitter party…

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