My wife isn’t what I would call an early adopter of technology. I just recently turned on text messaging on her cell so that I could send her a quick message if I can’t reach her at work, and it’s been a source of frustration and confusion. Most acronyms that I take for granted because I see them regularly are not exactly obvious to her.
“What’s ROFLTAMO?”
“Oh, you mean ROTFLMAO. It means “Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off.”
“That’s stupid. Nobody actually does that.”
She’s right. Do people actually LOL? Sure. But the rest of it has turned into hyperbole, just along with that cliche of someone saying they did a spittake or had liquid come out of their nose.
So I’ve decided to come up with some new acronyms to represent a more honest and better, wiser Internet.
IMWITT: I’m Masturbating While I Type This
RMEAYS: Rolling My Eyes At Your Stupidity
SHY: Secretly Hating You
IANADBIPOO: I Am Not A Doctor But I Play One Online
IANALBIPOO: I Am Not A Lawyer But I Play One Online
IGOOSS: I Get Outraged Over Stupid Shit
IKIAHB: I Know I’m A Hypocrite But…
IKIADB: I Know I’m A Douchebag But…
YAFDQ: You’re A Fucking Drama Queen
AMCDTB: A Monkey Could Do That Better
TITBAYG: This Is The Best Apology You’ll Get
IDYBYF: Yes I’m Dyslexic But Fuck You
TFBAGNA: Thanks For Being A Grammar Nazi, Asshole
CETIHNWTA: Commenting Even Though I Have Nothing Worthwhile To Add
WISILYIL: When I Said I Liked You, I Lied
IBTBDIAAW: I Blog, Therefore By Default I Am A Writer
IHWYHI: I’ll Hate Whoever You Hate Indiscriminately
and finally:
ITLAOSTATOTWINTS: I’m Too Lazy And/Or Stupid To Actually Type Out The Words I Want To Say
Do you have any new acronyms to add to the ever-growing lexicon of the lazy dictionary?
Enjoy this post? Try these:A vocabulary lemson
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior, by Amy Chua (a parody)
Twitter: maria0305
says:
IKIADB but I LOL constantly, and I don’t think I’ve ever ROLFMAO but I have wished that it was possible to LMMFBAO.
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Twitter: ashleighlynne
says:
My mom is horrible about this. Her text messages make me cringe.
I try not to say LOL anymore. Because who really LOL’s?
I think a good one would be IASTT; I am so Tweeting this.
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I LOATHE acronyms!!
ILA. There’s my acronym.
Also:
YMO – You misspelled one
(on these two: IANADBIPOO & IANALBIPOO)
(actually, you just left off the e).
I seriously hate texting, and can’t stand abbreviating words, so I just. won’t. do. it.
I have to say, though – yours make me LOL!! :lmao:
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Excellent list. I will incorporate RMEAYS into my texting. I would add AYFKM: Are You Fucking Kidding Me? because I type that all the time
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Twitter: WWScissors
says:
CETIHNWTA
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
IGOOSS all the freakin’ time.
How about:
WTFDTAM – What the fuck does that acronym mean?
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Man. I so had no idea that I was such an idiot. I’m sure that should now be ISHNITIWSAI. But what a fuck time that would be. I would much rather say Hi. I burned my hand today. It sucked.
Jess
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I GATRTOLTMH.
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IDYBYF: “I Don’t Know, But You’re Fucked” is the first thing that came to mind when I saw that.
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I realize that there’s no “K” in that acronym. That’s just what popped into my head. I DON’T KNOW WHY O GOD MY LIFE.
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I used WTFIATA last week, and shockingly the recipient required clarification, I mean, what the fuck is all that about?
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
oh man, i do the CETIHNWTA thing all the time, otherwise some folks would never know that i was there. and also i do it so that i don’t say something stupid or so that i can say i was there without getting into a fight in the comments about a political discussion.
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those are all fantastic. i will be an early adopter. i don’t even know what an early adopter is technically, but i’m going to be one anyway. or, IGTBOA.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
TISMDOFTIBTSWFIHTSS – “This is my day off from the Internet, but that shit was funny, I had to say something.”
Acronyms are convenient, not necessarily always lazy! Still, I know *some* geeks like to walk around saying , “National Aeronautics and Space Administration,” “Internal Revenue Service,” “Experimental Prototype Community of the Future” and “Federal Income Contributions Act” instead of the acronyms in attempts to reiterate how smart they think they are.
So I can see where *you’re* coming from. :dance:
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
“STFUBIBYWAB” – Shut the fuck up before I beat you with a bat.
I use that at work everyday.
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Two acronyms come to mind immediately — WIARYAMKABTHOOEO (While I am reading your acronyms my kids are beating the hell out of each other)and WTHITSB (Where the hell is that school bus).
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:sexytime:
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LOL at the dyslexic one. Okay, not really, but I smiled inwardly.
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GYAHN
My daughter gets that one sent to her at least once a week….”Get your ass home now!”
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
LMAOAF – which is, Laughing My Ass Off At Faiqa.
And what the fuck is WRONG with you people that you do not actually LOL??? I laugh out loud. All the time! When I read shit!
For example?
IGOOSS: I Get Outraged Over Stupid Shit
made me LOL.
Y’all are a bunch of grumpy fucks.
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This would normally make Bossy roll on the floor laughing except… her floor… ew.
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Hahaha… those are pretty good, avitable. I’ve been on the internet long enough that “lol” should just roll right off my fingers because quite frequently I do laugh out loud, but something about “lol” bugs the fucking shit out of me so instead I “hahaha”… which is probably just as stupid… but what can you do?
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lolwut?
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
CETIHNWTA because IMWITT. So, no.
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Maria, but we all love YMFBA!
Ashleigh, that is a good one. And I know that Britt will literally laugh out loud as she reads something. Most people don’t, though.
Sybil, thanks.
UTBM, I think I’ll definitely use that one.
Walking With Scissors, nice usage!
BE Earl, hah! Nice one.
Jess, I’m sorry you burned your hand. WYLMTEOT? Would you like me to ejaculate on that?
BPR, you have to tell me what it means too!
Squeaky Wheel, hehehehe. Your second comment actually made me LOL, so nice job.
SPD, WTFIATA indeed.
Hello, so see? Now you can just stick that in there.
Crys, someone who is on the forefront.
Faiqa, oh yeah, I forgot about your stupid “I don’t use Internet on Mondays” thing. And, by the way, I did not say that you had to say what EPCOT stood for – I just explained that it was an acronym, which is why it used to be in all caps. And you fucked up the acronym in your comment.
NYCWD, I think I’ll start using that with Britt.
Cambria, hahahahhah! Acronyms for real life work too!
Turnbaby, grrr.
Grant, smiling inwardly works for me. I was hoping someone would notice it.
Metalmom, that’s a good one!
Britt, and you’re a shining light of holiness and beauty.
Bossy, I bet Bossy’s floor is sparkling clean.
Dawn, I alternate between “heh” and “hah” because I hate using “LOL”.
Kiefer and Emo, that’s a great classic one.
Finn, me too!
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Twitter: perpstu
says:
Worse than acronyms IMHO is this crap. I need u 4 a minute. I hate that shit! :crazywife:
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
I’ve been trying to mix up using haha, hehe and LOL. Depends on how funny something is.
I had someone who was using text speak and acronyms when she commented on my blog for a while. I thought it was really annoying but never said anything cause SWHAH (she was hot as hell).
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Dave2 and I say: RMEITBOMH quite a bit. That is my favorite acronym, however YAFDQ and IBTBDIAAW are my new second and third faves…hahaha, omg.
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I’m just CETIHNWTA. How about “CTT” for Christ, that’s trite or “STFU” for shut the fuck up? RMEAYS is my favorite.
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
YAJALBGAY?
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“Do you have any new acronyms to add to the ever-growing lexicon of the lazy dictionary?”
No.
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Yes. Yes I would actually. Thanks. IMWITT
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I don’t mind a few acronyms, but when a whole sentence is filled with them, I feel like I need a manual to figure out what they are.
“TFBAGNA: Thanks For Being A Grammar Nazi, Asshole” is my favorite on your list, and I’m totally going to start using it.
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I may have to adopt RMEAYS.
A couple days ago one of my coworkers asked “What does TYR mean? Like, ‘Ok, I’ll tyr!’ Is that some kind of acronym?” Of course, I had no idea. Eventually she decided to just ask the guy who typed it and risk looking stupid. Turns out he meant TRY, he just can’t type.
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Popping Bubbles, I agree. I hate that shit with a passion. There we go – IHTS!
Jay, yeah, me too.
Hilly, what does that mean? Rolling My Eyes Something Something?
Fiwa, well, STFU is a well known one too.
Robin, what’s that stand for?
Clown, thanks for nothing, fucker.
Jess, I charge $45 an ounce.
Lynda, it’s all yours!
Stacey, hahhaha. That’s great.
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Worse than the dreaded LOL is the lololololol idiot. Did your laugh turn into a donkey’s bray? :banghead:
I think I’m going to start using RMEAYS and YAFDQ, they’ll look great next to PCW (post count whore) on some of the boards I frequent. :clap:
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
my fave is WTFBBQ?
Also? WH.O – stands for double-you hall dot org.
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Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
“ITLAOSTATOTWINTS” is how I feel about most of those stupid acronyms. I’ll use them occasionally, but only when I really mean it. Otherwise, I prefer “ha ha ha” to “lol” or “lawl” or “omfgrotflmao.” I’m really just not a fan of acronyms. But IMWITT made me lmao.
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You’ll be saying CETIHNWTA about me a lot, I’m sure.
BMA. (Bite me asshole.)
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
How about FYYCPILA for “Fuck you, you conceited prick, I like acronyms.”
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Mari, PCW is a definite necessity for a messageboard.
Whall, how about YIADP. Or Yay! It’s A DITL Post!
Elizabeth, well, to be honest, IMWITT.
Stephanie, BMA is a great one.
Muskrat, or AYT? Are you twelve?
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
SAMKWITT – Screaming At My Kids While I Type This
WTVANRPA – Watching TV and Not Really Paying Attention
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Heather, I like that last one!
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SITIMBAQ “Since I’m texting I must be a queer”
NIJNTFAFWTS “Now I just need to find a faster way to shit”
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IGOOSS. For instance IKIADB I AM a grammar Nazi. TITBAYG.
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