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Bucket list and Fuck it list

My bucket list – 10 things that I want to do before I die, in no discernible order:

  1. Ride a dolphin
  2. Get high
  3. Eat a steak in the nicest steak restaurants in New York, Chicago, and Dallas.
  4. Wrestle an alligator
  5. See the Avitable castle in Naples
  6. Go to a nude beach
  7. Burn my old boss’s house down with him inside
  8. Do stand up comedy
  9. Write a book
  10. Hang out with Joss Whedon

My fuck it list – 10 things that I DON’T need or want to do before I die, in no discernible order. Idea taken from here:

  1. Travel anywhere (obviously, just for the sake of traveling)
  2. Get a tattoo
  3. Go skydiving
  4. Bury the hatchet with shitty people
  5. Run a marathon
  6. Watch Casablanca
  7. Change the oil in my car
  8. Read “War and Peace”
  9. Eat chicken wings
  10. Rewatch that shitfest of a trilogy, the Lord of the Rings

What would be on your bucket list and fuck it list?


***
In other Avita-news, thanks to everyone who tuned in last night for the latest episode of “Clearly, You’re Retarded.” We answered most of the readers’ questions we received, and I wanted to thank Karen, Stephanie, Wayne, Laura, Becky, Dawn, Sybil, Deidre, Amanda, and Food Vigilante for their questions!

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40 Replies to “Bucket list and Fuck it list”

  1. B.E. Earl

    Buffalo chicken wings taste goooood.

    I’d like a sloppy bucket of them with blue cheese dressing and carrot sticks. I’d like to eat them while getting a tattoo during a screening of the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

    But I would pay good money to see you wrestle a dolphin or ride Joss Whedon or hang out with an alligator. Those all sound like fun.

  2. Jess

    I’m gonna get you there.

    Ride a dolphin – I can get you there. But my dolphin does not live in the water. Classified porn.
    Get high – I’ve got the hook up.
    Eat a steak in the nicest steak restaurants in New York, Chicago, and Dallas. – That’s a lot of traveling. Their secret is searing and lots of butter. No real secret – but there you go.
    Wrestle an alligator – Really? May not need the rest of your list after this. Good to shoot for the stars.
    See the Avitable castle in Naples – without traveling – you’re SOL.
    Go to a nude beach – Oh come on. You can soooo make your own. On the street in front of your house. Otherwise – more traveling.
    Burn my old boss’s house down with him inside – Call Me.
    Do stand up comedy – Call Mitch Fatel.
    Write a book – Oh come on. Get on with it.
    Hang out with Joss Whedon. You have a phone. It’s called motivation.

  3. hello haha narf

    last year in cabo i went to a dolphin adventure place. i smiled the entire time, and the rest of the day. so much that my face kinda hurt at the end of the day. being in the water with those magnificent creatures was spectacular. the part where you get to actually have the dolphin take you around (“riding” the dolphin) was easily my favorite part. well, i also liked where they had us in the water and sent the dolphin over to “kiss” us. i was the only one that a second dolphin came over to.

    i love the bucket and fuck it lists. fun post. i’m so not goal oriented that i don’t really have a bucket list. i mean, there is plenty that i would love to do, but i won’t die sad if they don’t happen.

  4. Geeky Tai-Tai

    This is a cool post! Like Becky, I don’t have a bucket list because I’m up for trying new things all the time. My fuck it list would have to include paying taxes. The last 3 years our returns have been 80 pages long! WTF?

  5. SciFi Dad

    If you’re not willing to travel, does that mean you will be satisfied with a photo of the castle?

    Also, just out of curiosity, what method will you use to ensure the steaks are kept warm on their way from Chicago, New York, and Dallas en route to Florida?

  6. Avitable

    Shash, suuuuuure, excuses, excuses! πŸ™‚

    Jay, I mean ride a dolphin in the purest, most innocent way.

    Just Me, ha – it’s a deal.

    DaDuck, no, Peter Jackson is a hack and those movies sucked. And why would I change the oil in my car – that’s what a mechanic is for. Also, I like Dollhouse!

    BE Earl, I’ll eat the blue cheese dressing and carrot sticks! Just not those horrible, evil little wings.

    Amanda, obviously, I meant travel for the sake of traveling. I revised my post for those of you who can’t read between the lines!

    Dave, see above.

    Jess, is “my dolphin” code for “vagina”? And see above re: travel.

    Whall, ok, that made me laugh.

    Hello, dolphins are just so awesome!

    Geeky, I know what you mean. That’s what the accountant is for!

    LeSombre, well I am banned from Sea World.

    Poppy, that’s a realization I hope I never have. πŸ˜€

    Hilly, hell to the motherfucking yes.

    SciFi Dad, see above for my explanation about travel.

  7. Sybil Law

    Excellent list, except should your ex boss’s house burn down, it’s gonna be pretty easy to find you.
    I’m also glad you cleared up that at least a mechanic changes your oil.
    I hope you’ll save getting high with me.
    :woohoo:

  8. Finn

    Hmm… I’ve done 1, 2, most of 3 and 6 on your bucket list. And 2 and 9 on your fuck it list… although I love to travel so maybe 1 as well.

    I didn’t realize there was going to be quiz; I’m not prepared to answer important quesstion first thing in the morning. Ask me later.

  9. Grant

    I’ve done three of your bucket thingys. My list: 1-10 includes Bunny!

    You would probably appreciate LotR more if you watched the extended versions back to back, preferably while high, eating a nice NY strip, and riding a dolphin.

  10. Miss Britt

    I’m not telling you because I’ve been meaning to do this as a post and then I will have ruined it. So there.

    I wish I would have known you wanted to wrestle an alligator. I could have pushed you in when we were at the Gator farm.

    Next time. I promise.

  11. Tiffany

    You’ve just made us all your accomplice to arson. As far as the bucket list, when your in Atlanta getting high with Just Me, swing up to Marietta to get high in another zip code. As far as the fuck it list, I have no desire to watch Lord of the Rings a first time. :boobs2:

  12. Avitable

    NYCWD, well, yeah, so some of these things on my list are easier to accomplish than others!

    Sybil, well, of course my car’s oil is changed. Just not by me!

    Clown, I can’t remember. I was probably high.

    Finn, you’ve been to a nude beach? I don’t believe you. Please provide photographic proof.

    Popping Bubbles, no, they’re horrible and greasy and get your fingers nasty!

    Grant, you might be right about that.

    Britt, you’re so sweet.

    Tiffany, who knew how easy it was to get a hook up?

  13. floating princess

    I rode a dolphin in Cancun and it was truly one of the best experiences of my life. They are so strong!

    Naples is a neat city and very different from Rome. When you go you should also visit the ruins at Pompeii, which is not very far away and has penises sculpted into the walkways.

  14. Chris

    Bucket List
    Visit all 50 states
    Take my dad to the Indy 500
    Write a book (so what, I took yours)
    Find Nicole Brown Simpson’s real killers
    Attend baseball games at Wrigley and Fenway

    Fuck it List
    Visit Europe
    Skydive, Bungee jump, or anything stupid like that
    Eat snails
    Read War and Peace or any other long-winded, self-indulgent work by a foreigner

  15. Mari

    Dunno about a bucket list, I guess I just don’t think about it too much. A fuck it list, though, that rocks!
    1. Never, ever watch that piece of shit Titanic. The fucking boat sinks and Celine Dion sings. What else do you need to know? :shit:

  16. Faiqa

    Bucket List: Be on the NYT Bestseller for any genre whatsoever, have so many important people call me and ask me for my opinion on things that I feel *postitively exasperated*, own a house so big that both my parents and Tariq’s parents can live with us without us seeing them for weeks, be directly involved in the achievement of world peace, buy a brand new M6 -every year.

    Fuckit List: Being overly emotionally tied to achieving the outcomes listed in my Bucket list to the point that I feel like I’ve “failed” if I haven’t done them. Oh, and trying to convince you that Dollhouse is shit. Not worth it. πŸ™‚

  17. Avitable

    Floating Princess, my wife’s been to Pompeii and took pictures of some of that – pretty interesting!

    Dr. Zibbs, now that’s a good plan.

    Chris, I’d much prefer to visit Europe than all 50 states, I think.

    Maria, what’s kush?

    Kevin, cool – I’ll check them out.

    Shawna, I just can’t eat food with my hands or with bones in it!

    Mari, yeah, but it’s a love story!

    Lexi, I’ve never even smoked a cigarette.

    Faiqa, totally not worth it to argue about Dollhouse. You’re obviously wrong.

    Nenette, I just can’t handle food with bones. Ew! And I stole the idea from you – of course I’d link to you!

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