Today is the hrmrmrth anniversary of Crystal‘s 21st birthday. In her honor, I wrote this poem. And by wrote, I mean stole from “So I Married an Axe Murderer” and changed the words:
Crystal.
Kerrr-iss-tal.
Cool cougar creating her canvas.
Beautiful, bedazzled, bipennate banter.
Un-ag…ing.
Un-usu…al.
Un-fett…ered?
“He wants you to dance,” he cried into
the webcam like a blogger who’s clinging
to his seat while wearing no pants…
except his boxer briefs with holes.
I need rhythm.
Dancing’s really hard.
This poem . . . sucks.
Have skirt, will dance off from Crys Anne on Vimeo.
Happy birthday, Crystal.
Enjoy this post? Try these:Getting slizzered
Pants
Sarcasticastic
Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Love me some crystal…
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
She sent you the hi-res version. I shoulda known that, but you got me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CRYS!!!!!! :hug: :martini:
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
PS – the one time it is acceptable to have no s following the apostrophe is for Jesus, and yet you put one. That rocks. You rock. ROCK.
Reply
Faiqa, me too.
Poppy, I stole it from her Flickr, actually! I always add the apostrophe. It looks weird to me without it.
Reply
Crystal is the rizzle dizzle, yo.
Um, I mean she’s way awesome.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CRYS!
Reply
Happy Birthday, Crystal, you gorgeous lady! :woohoo: :martini:
Reply
Happy birthday, Sistah Crystah! Hope you painted the town red last night! And I hope you wore the red dress, srsly!
Party on!
Olives. :dance:
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
It looks stooopid without it. It is the one thing I have a hard time overlooking when people write it incorrectly. Chris’s mom, NOT Chris’ mom. Thank you for this chance to be a jackass. Ripley says hi!
Reply
Twitter: ellemmes
says:
Happy Birthday Crystal!!
Reply
Ahhhh boobies! :sexytime: I’m fascinated with them these days!
Reply
omg! boobays! hi boys!
THANK you, Adam. you’re sweet, as ever…
Reply
Happy Birthday Crys!
Nice AA
Reply
boobalicious.
Reply
Hilly, rizzle dizzle fo shizzle.
Sybil, oh, she’s no lady!
Steph, she decided to Godiva it.
Poppy, I’m always open to people being jackasses in my comments!
Floating Princess, you’re just saying that because of the boobs, aren’t you?
Tiffany, they are awesome.
Crystal, happy birthday, friend.
Turnbaby, why are you talking about Alcoholic Anonymous here? Are you trying to imply that Crystal drinks too much wine?
Dr. Zibbs, ay, that she is.
Reply
Congrats Crys. And I bet that photo was taken in Hawaii, wasn’t it?
And I really was looking at your eyes the whole time, too.
Reply
She is beautiful! And I just read some of her blog – she is like a female you: Funny as hell.
Reply