With season finales happening left and right and very few worthwhile television series starting this summer, you have three choices when it comes to entertaining yourself until the fall.
Choice #1: Turn off TV. This is a bad idea. You see, the television-watching muscle needs to be exercised regularly and by turning off television for three months, this muscle will atrophy. And when it comes around to the new fall season, your atrophied muscle will mistake crappy television for good television. Before long, instead of enjoying smart entertainment, you’ll be wasting time with “Random Dad Trying to Raise Three Lovable Kids”, “I Love New York’s Gonorrhea”, “The Real Housewives of Utica”, and “Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ Plus Jon From Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, thereby contributing to the mental downfall of society at large.
Choice #2: Watch whatever’s on. With the exception of a few shows such as Psych, Monk, True Blood, and Ghost Hunters, there is nothing but unadulterated shit on the air over the summer. By subjecting your television muscle to this shit, you’ll risk necrosis of your muscle, which will die and fall out through your nose. And then these drippings of television muscle will join together in the sewer, become a giant TV muscle monster that rampages through New York screaming, “SERENITY NOW”.
Choice #3: Pick up some television on DVD to keep you occupied. This is the best option by far. You can exercise your television watching muscle with good, high quality television, keeping it in tip-top shape for the fall season. Plus, no rampaging monsters and society remains intelligent! “But, genius wonderful Adam, what should we watch?” I’ll tell you:
- The State: The Complete Series
– Back when MTV had something of quality, The State was funny, quirky, dark, and launched the careers of actors like Michael Ian Black (Stella), Thomas Lennon (Reno 911), and Ken Marino (Veronica Mars), to name a few. Their best tag line is a tie between “I’m gonna dip my balls in it!” and “Two-hundred and forty dollars worth of pudding. Ohhhhh yeahhhhh.”
- Pushing Daisies: The Complete Second Season
(also available on Blu-ray
) – The biggest tragedy of the past season was ABC’s blatant fuckery with regards to this fascinating, beautiful show. ABC didn’t even air the last three episodes (although they should be airing sometime soon), but now you can watch the episodes all the way through and marvel at the awesomeness.
- The Middleman: The Complete Series
– If you told me that I’d recommend a television series that aired on the ABC Family channel, I’d punch you in your endocrine system. However, this show was chock full of smart writing, great quips, and hilarious characters. The first episode is a bit slow, but get through that and revel in the fun. And mourn the non-renewal. Fuckers at ABC Family. I should punch them in their endocrine system.
- True Blood: The Complete First Season (HBO Series)
(also available on Blu-ray
– It’s not subtle. It’s heavy-handed. It has broad characterization. But it also has a rich world full of publicly outed vampires and a nubile psychic waitress played by the delectable Anna Paquin. Oh, and she’s naked.
- Dollhouse: Season One
(also available on Blu-Ray
– Now that it’s officially been renewed, it’s time for you losers who didn’t watch it the first time to catch up on the uneven yet brilliant season 1. This includes the unaired episode 13, which is an epilogue that takes place in the far future. Eliza Dushku still has to improve her acting skills, but a well-rounded, highly skilled cast helps bolster her less-than-chameleonic ability. It’s no Firefly, but it’s still Joss Whedon, which puts it miles above most TV.
Now, thanks to me, you will have a fruitful and healthy summer.
***
In other Avita-news, tonight at 9 PM is another new episode of “Clearly, You’re Retarded”!
Tonight’s topic: Is forgiveness divine or stupid?
Is it really a good thing to forgive someone who did an unspeakable wrong to you? Why should you speak to someone who hurt you badly ever again? If someone you hate is on fire, would you piss on them to put it out? Why or why not?
If you listen live, you can join everyone in the chatroom where there is usually a lively discussion going on that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. You can create an account at Talkshoe and download the Talkshoe Pro software or just listen as a guest. I recommend downloading the Talkshoe Pro software because even though it still has problems, it seems like the problems are more minimal with it. Hope to see you there!
My theories on LOST
Avitable’s Fall TV Schedule aka “What you should watch if you like good TV”
My version of the Emmy Awards.
Twitter: LeSombre
says:
If someone I hate is on fire, I would try to extinguish the fire by hitting it repeatedly with a shovel.
Reply
@LeSombre, or maybe by perforating it with bullet holes to help the fire blow out.
Reply
Twitter: LeSombre
, May 20th, 2009: 8:19 AM
@Avitable, I’m from Canadia remember? It’s really hard to get my hands on a gun, and I can’t throw bullets that hard… yet.
Reply
@LeSombre, keep practicing, grasshopper.
Reply
Twitter: Blogography
says:
You had me with “The Middleman” which is sheer genius and a lot of fun… then lost me with “Dollhouse” which is about the shittiest, most boring thing to air on television since “The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.” If the show wasn’t created by Joss Whedon, it would have been laughed off the air after episode #2. Blargh.
Reply
@Dave2, if it wasn’t written by Joss Whedon, you would have ignored it like most television. It’s so much better than 90% of what’s on TV.
Reply
I’ve never heard of Middleman. I’ll queue it. Once again, you are the yenta to know.
Reply
@Deb on the Rocks, it’s like a more fun Men In Black.
Reply
Me, I watch shows on Hulu that I missed or wasn’t aware of. Working through season 2 of “Life”.
Reply
@Mik, Hulu is a good way to do that, but sometimes watching it on the TV is even more fun.
Reply
it’s not even 6 am and I just spent over 100$ at Amazon. Middleman was on special w/ Dollhouse and Castle and I had to get season 2 of Pushing Daisy’s
:woohoo:
thanks a lot.
Reply
@rachel, I’ve got about six episodes of Castle saved on my DVR. I really need to watch those.
Reply
Twitter: _scifidad_
says:
Honestly, the fact that they’re putting an unaired episode on DVD kind of pisses me off. I mean, I loved the show, and I am curious to see what that episode holds, but it kind of feels like a cash grab to “force” people to buy the DVD set.
Haven’t heard of Middleman or The State. I’ll have to check them out.
My own tv on DVD recommendation is Sports Night – it’s not about sports (my wife LOVES it) and features some of the best writing and acting you’ll ever get on network tv. Two seasons was way too few.
Reply
@SciFi Dad, they made 13 episodes to air. Fox decided not to air the last one, but allowed them to put it on the DVD. I’m definitely not complaining.
Reply
I used to love watching The State! I think it had that dude on there that was later on News Radio (not sure if that’s one of the guys you mentioned). He played the boss.
I actually like Eliza Dushku, but her new(ish) nose job really bothers me, so I haven’t been able to summon the energy yet to watch it/ her.
I’ve been meaning to watch Tru Blood, and probably will soon.
Reply
@cat, I don’t think Stephen Root was ever on The State. There was a guy from Kids in the Hall on Newsradio, though.
Reply
Wait, WHAT?!?!? They decided not to renew Middleman? Where the fuck was *I* and more importnatly, WHY OH WHYYYYYYYYY????
Reply
Oh yeah, that’s the one! Kids in the hall! Such a long time ago, I got them confused. Thanks for the correction.
Reply
I forgive, for sure. It only eats you up if you don’t.
Not me, I say fuck the bastard. You do to me I do to you.
But that doesn’t solve anything. I take the high road.
Fuck the high road. There’s no such thing as a high road. Why let them off scott free?
You know what intransigence gets you?
What?
The Middle East. And those assholes will be in each other’s faces forever.
What’s wrong with that, it gives you something to watch on TV in the summer!
Reply
Middleman sounds good – Dollhouse – fuck that crap.
I am just glad you put Monk in there as a good show, or I couldn’t speak to you again! (Or I’d have to punch you in your endocrine system.)
There’s only one person I can’t forgive – but I can repress it, somewhat. That’s healthy, right?! Haha :finger:
Reply
My heart has been beating a little bit weaker since the finale of 30 Rock and Lost. I just don’t know what to do.
Reply
Boy, would you HATE it at my house! The summer plan is little or no electronics, READING, and exercise at the Y@ :thumbsup:
But I DO love TV on DVD for catching up on shows or watching a show from the beginning. We’re currently backtracking on “30 Rock”.
J.
Reply
Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
My viewing plans for the summer are to slowly whittle away at my ever-growing Netflix queue. That includes a host of TV shows on our Instant queue. Weeds, Friday Night Lights, The League of Gentlemen (very funny/odd BBC offering), Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere (never saw it), Dead Like Me, etc…
And I may get the DVDs for Battlestar Gallactica. I may be the only geek in geekworld who hasn’t seen any of that show yet.
Reply
Anna Paquin naked sells it for me. I hope I don’t have to wait for disc 5 to see that.
Reply
Sell me Dolls House some more. I have a shiny new Blu-ray player, might invest in some disc-age.
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
says:
I may have to check out “Pushing Daisies,” although it may just piss me off that it got cancelled.
Reply
Dollhouse went over very well in our house this year, you just have to get past the fact that Eliza Dushku needs to have her own brain transplant. Maybe it’s not her, maybe it is the writers.
And Anna Paquin is yummy, but I can’t get over the fact that I watched her act as a kid and now she is naked on the tv. Oh noooo!
Reply
Twitter: hismuse
says:
Oddly it seems the only programs we have in common are Scrubs, Gilmore Girls and True Blood, there is no logic to it.
Reply
You and I have very similar taste in TV–I’m curious, do you watch Rescue Me? I anticipate summer time to watch this show!
Reply
Twitter: mooshinindy
says:
Why yes I would like to pee on someone I don’t like.
Reply
Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
I’m still not talking to ABC for jerking Pushing Daisies around like they did. There’s nothing wrong with actually showing quality programing every once in a while.
I stuck with Dollhouse all season. I don’t know if I really loved it, but I didn’t want to give up on it. I’m convinced that the biggest problem that show has is Eliza Dushku’s lack of talent.
Anna Paquin naked. I love those three words.
I want to go back and watch The Wire this summer. I never got to see it.
Reply
Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
What, no Heroes?
I’m all for the True Blood and Dollhouse… but pretty meh on the others.
Reply
Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
What, no The Muppet Show 15-dvd set? There *is* no better summer time-consumer!
Reply
I usually TiVo old serieses and early eps of current shows so I can get caught up. When I’m not whacking the ol’ weed, of course.
Reply
You can thank me for pushing you to watch The Middleman. You can stab somebody else for it’s non-renewal.
I’m going to be giving The State a shot as I have been looking forward to seeing it again, but I’m slightly concerned it’s not going to be as funny as we all seem to remember it.
Reply
Argh – now True Blood is on the long wait list in my NetFlix queue. This is all your fault for recommending it.
Reply
What no Supernatural? Sheesh anyhoo I guess now I have to get True Blood now, was on the fence on that one.
Reply
I think Dollhouse is a terrific show. And I enjoy watching Eliza Dushku kick ass.
Reply
Twitter: Faiqa
says:
I like bubble gum.
Reply
Twitter: Bellaventa
says:
I have already pre-ordered via Amazon 2 copies of The State DVD – one for me and one for Rachel because she never believed that the day would come where the DVD would actually be out. I can’t wait!!
Reply
Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Sorry, but I gotta go with choice #1 on this one!
Hope y’all have a great show tonight…I’d tune in but am meeting up with an old college friend who’s driving an hour to take me out, so I’d hate to give him the bird.
Thanks for a great night last night, by the way.
*wink*
Reply
Man, I loved The State. That was some seriously funny shit. Do you remember the Bounty commercial with Gilbert Gottfried and Christopher Walken? Awesome.
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
Thank you for reminding me to put some shows on my iTouch before the weekend… and that I’m actively missing your show. We are watching a movie and winding down from working late in the Poppy Dawg Household. I apologize for just myself that I won’t be joining you tonight.
Reply
I have to agree with you on True Blood – I got hooked on the show after I read the books. Look forward to checking out your other recommendations – something new to watch during my too frequent bouts of insomnia (my dvds of Moonlight, True Blood, Weeds and The West Wing are getting over used
Reply
Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
You forgot Burn Notice, which starts June 2nd, therefore YOU should be punched in your endocrine system! Bwahaha!
Ahem.
Reply
Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
Basically, I’m dropping my kids off at your house on my way to the Caribbean for two months.
Now, THAT’S a summer! :lmao:
Reply
TV for me is catching up on Weeds Season 4 and Reaper Season 2.
Reply