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Something to ponder

How the fuck do you throw away a trashcan?


I’ve tried:

  • Putting it out on the curb empty.
  • Putting it out on the curb empty with other full trash cans around it.
  • Putting it out on the curb upside down.
  • Putting a sign in front of it that said “Trash”. The sign was taken, the can was not.
  • Taping a sign to it that said “Trash”. The sign was taken, the can was not.
  • Putting it inside a larger trash can.
  • Putting it on its side on the curb with trash bags on top of it.
  • Putting it in a trash bag, as much of it as I could fit in there.
  • Running after the garbage truck, with the can over my head, shrieking at the top of my lungs, “Why do you mock me?!? Take my trashcan!” resulting in the garbage truck peeling off and my neighbors being pissed at me that none of their trash got picked up that day.

I may just have to take a chainsaw to it.

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78 Replies to “Something to ponder”

  1. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy

    I have no idea. My trashperson has accidentally thrown away 3 of my good trashcans. Probably you should just drop it off at some random house and sit in the drive way.

    Speaking OF trashcans, I ran over my neighbors sickly monogrammed trashcan last year and had to pay mega buck to replace it. Yeah, I said monogrammed trashcan. Fucking idiots.

  2. Becky

    Haha! I’m laughing because for 3 weeks we tried to get rid of an old trash can. The garbage people being oh-so-bright didn’t take it. So, we ended up taking it to the dump. Good luck!!

  3. Jay

    Go out at around 3 am and throw it in a dumpster behind the nearest mall.

    I was going to tell you that they would pick it up with the rest of the stuff you recycle, but I’m pretty sure you don’t recycle.

  4. Blondefabulous

    At least you have a choice of purchasing you own trashcans. Here we have to use the “city issued” trashcans that all look alike. Unfortunately, if someone else’s can get damaged or run over, they just take it and scope out the neighbors for a better one, then make the switch in the dead of night, thus leaving you w/a shitty trash can. Bastards! :pissed:

  5. furiousball

    I had this exact same problem, and I had to get a leaky roof, bringing a demo crew and dumpster, in the still of the night, i snuck the old dented rusted trash can and sent it on it’s way to dumpsterville, which is actually a Newark suburb here in jersey

  6. Sybil Law

    So if it’s an inside one, they still haven’t taken it?! Even inside another one?
    I have never ever thought about this!
    Buy a 6 pack of some shit beer and write – “Please take this – this garbage can is meant to be here!”!
    OR, just write, “Free garbage can and a six pack of beer” = and put it on craigslist. I know how much you love craigslist!

  7. cat

    That’s hilarious! Uh, good luck with that ; )

    I would try calling the city… if not, someone I know will be renting a u-haul and making a trip out to the dump, my friend!

  8. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    Hahahahaah! I had this problem with old laundry baskets. Needless to say, I still have the same old nasty laundry baskets.

    BUT You could bring it with you when you come to Chicago, then you could put it in the dumpster at my apartment building. (Oh gosh, I know you know how awesome it is for me to be saying “my apartment building”.)

  9. Stacey

    The question blows my mind. It’s right up there with how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

    Around here they take ANYTHING you put in the trash can. I’ve been stunned by some of the crap they’ve hauled away without issue.

  10. Dawn

    If they don’t take it using the method the three above commenters suggested, try reverse psychology:

    Put a note on it saying “This bin is NOT garbage. Please leave it here. It’s of sentimental value to me. And it has financial value too, in case you were wondering. So please leave it where it is. Thanks!”

    Ta da!

  11. Grant

    Wow – 60 comments for this little bit. How do you live with yourself?

    Of course, I once made a post that consisted entirely of “I like green.” and I got the most comments ever in my entire life, including some from people I’d never heard of before or since. Further proof for my Inverse Blogging Quality to Comment Quantity theory.

  12. Starfish

    I am at a loss for words here……
    I’m gonna be up all night trying to think of a solution to this problem.
    I’ll let you know my master plan as soon as I think of it.
    Oh wait I know!
    Is anyone you know having a Birthday soon?
    Stick a bow on it and put the six pack in it!

  13. kelly

    It’s really easy to get rid of an old garbage can if you know a very simple trick.

    You just have to tape a piece of paper to it that reads: “PLEASE TAKE THIS THING!!!” and leave a 6 pack sitting nearby. :clap:

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