How the fuck do you throw away a trashcan?
Seriously.
I’ve tried:
- Putting it out on the curb empty.
- Putting it out on the curb empty with other full trash cans around it.
- Putting it out on the curb upside down.
- Putting a sign in front of it that said “Trash”. The sign was taken, the can was not.
- Taping a sign to it that said “Trash”. The sign was taken, the can was not.
- Putting it inside a larger trash can.
- Putting it on its side on the curb with trash bags on top of it.
- Putting it in a trash bag, as much of it as I could fit in there.
- Running after the garbage truck, with the can over my head, shrieking at the top of my lungs, “Why do you mock me?!? Take my trashcan!” resulting in the garbage truck peeling off and my neighbors being pissed at me that none of their trash got picked up that day.
I may just have to take a chainsaw to it.
I have no idea. My trashperson has accidentally thrown away 3 of my good trashcans. Probably you should just drop it off at some random house and sit in the drive way.
Speaking OF trashcans, I ran over my neighbors sickly monogrammed trashcan last year and had to pay mega buck to replace it. Yeah, I said monogrammed trashcan. Fucking idiots.
@Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy, monogrammed trashcan? Wow, you live near some classy motherfuckers.
I’ve heard that if you put dismembered body parts in it, the police, and not the trash truck will take it away….unfortunately, they will take you too…..
@metalmom, that might be worth it.
Haha! I’m laughing because for 3 weeks we tried to get rid of an old trash can. The garbage people being oh-so-bright didn’t take it. So, we ended up taking it to the dump. Good luck!!
@Becky, will you come take mine to the dump for me? Pretty please?
Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
Go out at around 3 am and throw it in a dumpster behind the nearest mall.
I was going to tell you that they would pick it up with the rest of the stuff you recycle, but I’m pretty sure you don’t recycle.
@Jay, I don’t recycle. My wife does. So the recycling bins are filled with wine and beer bottles but all the Diet Coke cans are in the trash. Heh.
Freecycle it! You get rid of it, but your question still remains unanswered.
@Colleen, I bet somebody would totally want a free, dirty trash can, too. Crazy Freecyclers.
Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
@Avitable, tell them there’s a PS3 in it. It’ll be gone in no time!
Twitter: ashleighlynne
says:
I think you might just have to take it to the dump.
Or in the middle of the night find a random dumpster and put it in there.
@Ashleigh, but I don’t go to the dump. That’s like shopping at Walmart.
We had the same thing happen to us. We ended up cutting it up and putting in the bottom of another trashcan.
*sigh*
@The Casual Perfectionist, sigh. I was afraid of that.
Take it across town and put it out with someone else’s garbage
Then they can worry about it.
@Breigh, that’s the next step.
Twitter: blondefabulous
says:
At least you have a choice of purchasing you own trashcans. Here we have to use the “city issued” trashcans that all look alike. Unfortunately, if someone else’s can get damaged or run over, they just take it and scope out the neighbors for a better one, then make the switch in the dead of night, thus leaving you w/a shitty trash can. Bastards! :pissed:
@Blondefabulous, I’m not even talking about the big outside cans. I’m talking about an inside trash can!
Twitter: blondefabulous
says:
@Avitable,
Well then, you do have quite the enigma, don’t you?
Twitter: mr_shiny
says:
Fill it to the brim with diamonds and/or twenty dollar bills and leave it in an unlocked car at the mall. That should do the trick…
@shiny, yeah, but then I’d probably lose the car, too.
As luck would have it, I’m trying to get rid of a chainsaw!
@Leanne, wanna switch?
@Avitable, But you won’t NEED a chainsaw if you switch, for you will no longer have a trashcan to saw.
@Givinya de Elba, it’s like that O’Henry story.
Twitter: bobutler
says:
Please have someone film the chainsaw thing. I think we all need to see that.
@bo, I should also do my last will and testament while I’m at it.
Twitter: bobutler
says:
@Avitable, Would you be willing to leave me a pube, or maybe some pithair?
@bo, I’ll stick a pubic hair in some amber to preserve just for you.
Dumpster. You are going to have to put it in your car and throw it in a dumpster or leave it behind the Walgreens….something like that.
@Hilly, the reality is that I’ll probably just keep it in the garage forever now.
I had this exact same problem, and I had to get a leaky roof, bringing a demo crew and dumpster, in the still of the night, i snuck the old dented rusted trash can and sent it on it’s way to dumpsterville, which is actually a Newark suburb here in jersey
@furiousball, ah yes, glorious downtown Dumpsterville.
:lmao:
So if it’s an inside one, they still haven’t taken it?! Even inside another one?
:lmao:
I have never ever thought about this!
Buy a 6 pack of some shit beer and write – “Please take this – this garbage can is meant to be here!”!
OR, just write, “Free garbage can and a six pack of beer” = and put it on craigslist. I know how much you love craigslist!
@Sybil Law, “Free garbage can and a six pack of beer” That has to be the most brilliant suggestion so far!!! :lmao:
@Sybil Law, oh, I do love the losers on Craigslist!
That’s hilarious! Uh, good luck with that ; )
I would try calling the city… if not, someone I know will be renting a u-haul and making a trip out to the dump, my friend!
@cat, a U-haul for a trashcan?
@Avitable, If worse comes to worse, sure! But hopefully you know someone with a pickup truck or something…
Twitter: s_csr
says:
Hahahahaah! I had this problem with old laundry baskets. Needless to say, I still have the same old nasty laundry baskets.
BUT You could bring it with you when you come to Chicago, then you could put it in the dumpster at my apartment building. (Oh gosh, I know you know how awesome it is for me to be saying “my apartment building”.)
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), yes. I’ll bring my trashcan to Chicago. Good plan!
The question blows my mind. It’s right up there with how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Around here they take ANYTHING you put in the trash can. I’ve been stunned by some of the crap they’ve hauled away without issue.
@Stacey, I left a baby in mine one day and they took it without a problem.
Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
An inside can is usually a bit smaller, right?
Fill it with trash then put the whole thing in a large plastic trash bag filled with more stuff.
They would have to take it then, neh?
@B.E. Earl, I’ll have to give it a shot.
How about the sign saying simply “please take can”?
@frank, that’s assuming they can read.
This is what worked for me.
I put a sign on it that said “El Trasho.”
Gone the next day.
@Functionally ReTodded, my garbagemen are all Harvard-educated WASPs.
I put a sign on mine that said “This can is garbage, PLEASE take!” and they did.
@Kelly, I tried the sign idea. They took the sign. Fuckers.
If they don’t take it using the method the three above commenters suggested, try reverse psychology:
Put a note on it saying “This bin is NOT garbage. Please leave it here. It’s of sentimental value to me. And it has financial value too, in case you were wondering. So please leave it where it is. Thanks!”
Ta da!
@Dawn, ooh, genius!
Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
Did you really run after the garbage truck? Ha ha ha, I think they are mocking you!
@Elizabeth Kaylene, I may have exaggerated a bit. But yes, they’re totally mocking me.
Get a pickup (rentals at Home Depot are $19.99). Then, in the middle of the night, drive to a deserted road that you’ve scoped out and push it out the back.
@Dr Zibbs, I only spend that kind of money when I do that to a hooker.
Twitter: poppycede
says:
Are there no garbage bags large enough to place it in?
@Poppy, it’s a pretty big inside trashcan.
Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Hack it into tiny bits and flush it down the toilet. You know, like you did with your first wife.
@muskrat, shhhh! Nobody’s supposed to know about that. Just me and the giant alligators in the sewers. The well-fed giant alligators.
Wow – 60 comments for this little bit. How do you live with yourself?
Of course, I once made a post that consisted entirely of “I like green.” and I got the most comments ever in my entire life, including some from people I’d never heard of before or since. Further proof for my Inverse Blogging Quality to Comment Quantity theory.
@Grant, comments come whenever you least expect them.
I am at a loss for words here……
I’m gonna be up all night trying to think of a solution to this problem.
I’ll let you know my master plan as soon as I think of it.
Oh wait I know!
Is anyone you know having a Birthday soon?
Stick a bow on it and put the six pack in it!
@Starfish, Father’s Day is coming up . . .
Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
Put a sign on it that says “Basura.”
@whall, I actually tried that. Nothing!
I’d say breaking it into pieces is your best bet at this point. I’m in an apartment, so I can just throw things in the dumpster, where they don’t get scrutinized.
@Miss Grace, maybe I can just throw it into my neighbor’s yard.
Make sure you video that chainsaw job on the trashcan.
@martymankins, and I’ll juggle too.
It’s really easy to get rid of an old garbage can if you know a very simple trick.
You just have to tape a piece of paper to it that reads: “PLEASE TAKE THIS THING!!!” and leave a 6 pack sitting nearby. :clap:
@kelly, I’ll have to try the six-pack thing.
Put it in a dumpster? :dunce:
@Gina, yeah, but then I have to find a dumpster!
Go to an apartment complex and you’ll probably find a dumpster..hehe!
@Bethany, fixing my website!