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My review of Drag Me To Hell (Spoiler Free)

Justin Long or a chameleon?
Justin Long or a chameleon?

A long time ago in a B-movie world far, far away, a man named Sam Raimi made a trilogy of movies: Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness. They got increasingly funnier and they were cheesy, cornball horror fun. Some cheap scares, poor effects, and a sense of fun made this a great series of movies that have infinite rewatchability.

His latest foray into the cornball horror genre hit theaters Friday with “Drag Me To Hell”, starring Alison Lohman and Justin Long (or a chameleon. I really can’t tell the difference. He is an ugly, ugly man with eyeballs that are way too far apart.). In a tale reminiscent of Stephen King’s “Thinner”, a gypsy curse results in dire consequences for Alison Lohman’s loan officer. The few twists are predictable, but it’s not the destination that matters with this movie. It’s how you get there.

With a penchant for gross-out scenes that alternate between cheesy and hilarious, this film is light summer fare and fun for the whole cornball horror genre lovin’ family. There are a few surprising scares and some great atmosphere. And if you walk in expecting a scare-your-pants-off horror movie like The Ring or Exorcist or torture-porn like Hostel, you’ll be sorely disappointed. It’s like when you think you’re eating mayo and it turns out to be bleu cheese dressing. If you expect cheese, it’s okay, but if you’re thinking delicious mayo, you’ll be fucking pissed.

I give it a B.

18 thoughts on “My review of Drag Me To Hell (Spoiler Free)”

  1. You know, I thought this looked dumb (I mean she turns down a bank loan so she’s cursed? Really?) but then I looked on rotten tomatoes and it has almost the same rating as Up, and if it’s as good as Pixar, it’s good enough for me. And I like the Evil Dead trilogy.

  2. I haven’t even heard of this movie! I’ll have to check it out. Long may not be much to look at, but I served him hors d’oeuvres at a party once (I was catering… a menial server), and he was one of the nicest people there. Genuinely nice and friendly- almost shockingly so.

  3. Justin was that kind of cute/funny looking when he was younger, but now he’s just kind of creepy. Only thing I have liked him in lately is “Zack & Miri” when he’s the over exuberant gay dude. THAT was funny!

  4. Oh God…The Ring!! I do not scare at horror/ghost/whatever movies, usually…but for some reason, that movie scared the piss out of me. Like to the point I was leaving the room and peering around the corner at the tv. Eeeek!

  5. I’m planning on taking my daughter to see this. And I really miss the old “Up All Night” that USA used to show on the weekends a long, long time ago….those were classic B grade movies!!

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