As most of you know, Ed McMahon died yesterday at the age of 86. And being the intrepid journalist that I am, I have his first posthumuous interview all ready just for you.
Me: Thanks for agreeing to speak with me so quickly after your demise.
Ed: Happy to be here, ha ha ha ha!
Me: So, you hosted The Price is Right for how many years?
Ed: Wha? That wasn’t me, kid. That was Bob Barker.
Me: Oh. Are you the Wendy’s guy?
Ed: No, that’s Dave Thomas!
Me: That older man from Golden Girls?
Ed: No, that was Bea Arthur.
Me: The guy who sells oatmeal and was in Cocoon?
Ed: Nope. Wilford Brimley.
Me: The salad dressing dude?
Ed: Paul Newman.
Me: The guy who said that smoking was bad?
Ed: C. Everett Koop.
Me: Chicken man?
Ed: Colonel Sanders
Me: Died for our sins?
Me: Electric flying guy?
Me: Subject of a Warhol painting?
Ed: Can of Campbell’s Soup
Me: Are you this?
Ed: That’s a tuna fish sandwich.
Me: Well, who the fuck are you then?
Ed: I was Johnny Carson’s announcer for thirty years.
Me: And Johnny Carson is . . .
Ed: The host of the Tonight Show!
Me: I thought that was Conan O’Brien?
Ed: Fuck this. I’m out of here.
Enjoy this interview? Check out my other interviews:
(PS. Still no show this week. We’re having trouble coming up with topics!)