If I was on TV
Also, today is a friend's birthday. She turns some horribly old age and will probably celebrate it by bathing until she's pruny and trying not to smoke while she bakes awesome cupcakes and dotes on her sons. Give her good wishes – happy birthday, Bluepaintred!


Ugh! McDonalds steamers are the worst! Good luck getting that to flush!
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@Dave2, it broke the terlet.
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Just once I'd like to see that cartoon penis dragging on the ground.
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@Keira, but then it would get hurt! Who would kiss it and make it better?
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What up with Sookies nipples?
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@Amanda, she's wearing a shirt – that's her cleavage.
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Happy birthday, bluepaintred!
And laughing at "Cookie is mine"… very clever.
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@Faiqa, I have to give credit to James for that one.
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Where is the Karl Maulden interview??? I was hoping you'd ask him if all those AmEx commercials were worth it. Oh…. and if he left home without it!
Oh and Happy Birthday Shannon.
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@Blondefabulous, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the most fabulous blond I know!
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@Blondefabulous, I don't even know who fuck Karl Malden is. And happy birthday!
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i would love to live just one day inside your brain.
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@hello haha narf, no, I think that would scar you for life.
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Avitable's art. Anatomically accurate? Amazing.
Artistically acceptable? Arguable.
Amusing? Actually, ah-yes.
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@avatgardener, actually apropos!
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Art! Yay!!!
Hahaha and ew.
Happy Birthday, Bluepaintred!
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@Sybil Law, ew indeed.
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Nice artwork… reminds me that I need to watch True Blood! Everyone's talking about it…
Happy Birthday, Bluepaintred!
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@cat, the first season is out on DVD now.
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It's sad that I haven't seen a single episode of True Blood and I immediately knew "Sookie is mine."
Of course, in my head I heard it in Hilly's voice.
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@Miss Britt, yeah, it's the best line from the show.
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I'm glad to see you look before you flush. I thought I was the only one.
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@Hockeyman, it's in the man code.
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The Cookie must be protected!
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@Hilly, hahahahahaha!
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i'm fairly certain i never get a birthday wish on your blog because it is in competition with your birthday. pffft.
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@Robin, I'll try to remember this year.
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I've never watch True Blood – maybe I should get around to it at some point.
P.S. Where is the interview?
P.P.S. Happy Birthday BPR!
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), no interview – he's a nobody.
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Hey Fatso (I'm enjoying calling you that while I can),
Do you mean you're not on TV? I thought you were. I guess it's just those hidden cameras I put in your house for my fapping pleasures.
And I don't know how you live with a life-changing infirmity, barf boy.
Your friend,
The Shart Master
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@Grant, I should start AvitaTV. Hm.
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Wow, that penis sure looks big! What shoe size do you wear?
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@Julie, 4000.
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K, for the record – I giggled at the Sookie one.
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@Kyra, yay! A giggle! It's all about the art, I guess.
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Hey.
What the fuck happened to the smilies?
The Cookie made ice coffee come out of my nose.
Here cookie cookie cookie…
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@NYCWD, until I get my new design done, the new smilies are MIA.
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AVITABLEBUSTERS!
Where a guy named Adam Heath Avitable (with a Segway and a fedora) gets his nuts busted by Jamie Hyneman.
Classic TV, if I must say so myself.
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@Coal Miner's Granddaughter, Adam Savage is awesome.
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i need to be involved in this True Blood cult.
and i'm an artist too:
(i'm just not cut-out for tv.)
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@melissa, Because I have awesome computer hacking skillz ::cough::Iknowyourpassword::cough:: I could see your skillz. No one else can though
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), dammit. i thought i got the right code??
::sulks in the corner::
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@melissa, yeah, images don't work in comments.
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@Avitable, boo to that.
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I haven't seen either of those shows, but my step mother kept insisting "McDreamy" is hers, so out of a desire to know what the hell she is talking about I Google'd McDreamy. That's got to count for something, right?
Thank you Adam, and everyone, for the Birthday Wishes!!
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@bluepaintred, that's close enough. You should watch True Blood. You'd like it.
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Happy birthday, BPR!
Cookie is BPR's.
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@Poppy, that made me chuckle.
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