Thanks to Britt, I have a post for today. Leave it to the self-proclaimed beacon of “light and goodness” to take a meme that’s designed to bring out our passive-aggressive nature, wherein we can vent about people by saying mean, cynical and hateful things, and convert it into a huge old love-fest, passing on anonymous warm and fuzzies. It’s so sweet that it almost gave me diabetes (well that, and my IV of liquid chocolate cake).
And yet I’m stealing it for myself. Even I like to be nice to people sometimes. To spread a little love and kindness, free of sarcasm and cynical overtones. Plus, I’m tired so it’s hard to come up with something else to post. Without further ado:
1. Even with all of your faults, it was because of your example that I had the strength and courage to go through with the lap band surgery.
2. Reconnecting with you after all of these years has proven to be better than I can have imagined. Who knew we had so much in common and we could have been good friends all this time?
3. You’re good at what you do, even if I think that you’re otherwise a useless human being.
4. You deserve every ounce of the happiness towards which you’ve already made great strides.
5. You’ve been there unselfishly for me for more than two decades and I don’t know if you’re aware of how much I appreciate it.
6. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.
7. Your belief in my ability to succeed has always been unwavering. Thank you.
8. Sunshiny optimism usually annoys me, but you make it work.
9. You give me hope for the youth of America with your work ethic and obvious intelligence, even though you’re politically retarded.
10. I’m so glad you ended your old life and started your new life with your new love.
11. You’re too smart to be so blind and hateful.
12. My hours and hours of conversation with you and our friendship made me the person I am today, and I’m better as a result.
13. I love how you won’t lie to me, even if it might be hurtful.
14. Your innocence and outlook on life is refreshing, even if I try to corrupt it.
15. Both your laughing and your crying are infectious and make everything more enjoyable.
16. I’m so happy that you’ve started to stand up for yourself. It’s a great first step to your happiness.
17. I am so glad that we have become friends.
18. I wish I could do the things you can do.
19. I’m ecstatic that you’re happy after those years of heartbreak. You deserve every second of it.
20. I still think of our first date, 27 years ago.
Need a post idea? This is harder than it seems. Give it a shot, and stay tuned tomorrow when I return with my typical vitriolic perspective on life and the sheeple of the world.
Enjoy this post? Try these:Avitable’s rules for life
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
I feel like you’re talking just to me!
Only me.
Forever… me.
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@Dave2, of course I am. Except since I apparently look like you, it’s just you mumbling to yourself.
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wait. why do you look like Dave in that picture?
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
, July 16th, 2009: 3:02 PM
@bluepaintred, I too thought this was a Guest Post from the Almighty Dave2 until I did more than just glance at the photo.
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@whall, Oh thank god. I was worried I was going crazy.
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@bluepaintred, obviously you’re blind. I’m a real person. Dave is just a cartoon!
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
Damn – I’m like a frickin’ psychic or something. Let the Avita-Love Fest begin.
P.S. Just because it starts with “re” does not make me politically retarded! Oh wait – you mentioned work ethic and youth. Never mind.
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Twitter: s_csr
, July 16th, 2009: 12:42 AM
Oh damn. I should pay more attention to your titles. Then maybe I can convince people I am all kinds of witty.
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), why are you a psychic?
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Twitter: s_csr
, July 17th, 2009: 5:22 PM
@Avitable, because I told you something about you being nice to people sometimes. Or something like that. Sorry, my comment doesn’t even make sense to me anymore. You should reply to comments sooner – I wrote this about twenty minutes after we got done talking the other night. Maybe then we both would’ve gotten the joke. Note to Self : Tell better jokes
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Twitter: thegoddesscher
says:
I’m stealing number four and pretending that you wrote it for me.
Oh, and as for number six? You’re welcome.
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@CP, well, maybe I did!
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You’re just talking to me with all the good ones, right?
Great post from a great guy.
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@Shash, no, it’s an amazing post from an amazing guy. Jeez!
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Twitter: ashleighlynne
says:
Aw, a sweet post.
That picture is a devilish looking though.
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@Ashleigh, yeah, I can’t be too lovey-dovey.
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Well I know you didn’t write any of those for me.
You didn’t use the word retarded.
Sigh.
I’ll make you love me one of these days…
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@Redneck Mommy, actually, I did use the word “retarded” – but it wasn’t about you.
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Twitter: karlerikson
says:
Our first date *wasn’t* 27 years ago. I’m confused.
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@Karl, you obviously have our anniversary wrong! Bastard.
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i don’t know if it’s just me, but you never seem to be wearing clothes in pictures you hang on your posts. is that just a coincidence or do you avoid clothing based on principle? some kind of blatant anti-textilism?
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@Stone Fox, I am not a fan of clothes and do not wear them if I can get away without them.
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I kind of don’t know what to do with nice Avitable. I guess I’ll go be nice Sarah now. Shit.
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@Sarah, nice Avitable was boring!
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Being loved by you is a special kind of wonderful.
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@MariaV, I know. I’m a giver.
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very nice post and you have really lost a lot of weight and it shows
congrats on the weight loss
and thanks for a positive post
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@ms snarky nice bitch, my ego, however, has put on about 100 pounds.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
first, i might print that photo and frame it beside my bed. rawr.
second, which one of these is about me? #18, right? hehe
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@hello haha narf, you do realize it’s #8, right?
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
, July 17th, 2009: 3:56 PM
@Avitable,
i would be more sunshiney if you sent me a framed photo for my bedside.
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@hello haha narf, you dirty, dirty girl.
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You don’t love me–I have it in writing;-)
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@Turnbaby, oh, but they’re all about you, sugar!
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@Avitable, lol–no it’s on my kitchen memo board*grinning*
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
you’re making it less and less easy for me to hide the fact that you’re a nice, puffy hearted sweetheart with glitter for blood.
totally unrelated – you look really healthy dude. good on ya.
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@Karen Sugarpants, I have piss and vinegar running through my veins, thank you very much.
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Fortunately a little cynicism slipped into numbers 9 and 11 or I would have needed an additional insulin shot today.
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@Grant, it couldn’t all be sunshine and rainbows.
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Awww – you aren’t embarrassed to tell everyone how much you love me!
You look super hot in the picture!!
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@Sybil Law, super evil, maybe.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
You know, I thought you looked like Dave too! But I assure that’s not a bad thing.
What I love about these is trying to figure out who you’re talking to.
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@Finn, they’re all you, babe.
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Awwww…..#20 is about me, right? How sweet.
Good list.
J.
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@HoosierGirl, of course.
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It’s okay, sweetie…one day you *will* be able to do the things that I can do.
(I kid but dammit, one of these better be about me and it better be good!)
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@Hilly, but apparently nobody will be able to kiss as well as you do.
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Awwwww, how sweet! I love how you still think about your first date!
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@cat, we were both 5.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
I’m really upset by this.
Nowhere on this list do I see, “Your superior intellect, charm and beauty have taken me to depths of humility that I did not know were possible. Thank you for making me a better person.”
Whatever, I’m glad that we’ve become good friends, too.
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@Faiqa, that was #21.
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Love? I thought it was just lust. You cad.
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@Kris, and gluttony.
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
I love that I knew who almost all of these were about. Not because it makes me obviously *extra special* – but because, I don’t know, it must have come out in you sometime before now.
And I really wish your mom, brother, sister and best male friends could read this and know you were talking about them.
I think I will also have lots of fun torturing Clown with the fact that one of these was about him.
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@Miss Britt, I feel like I know who #3 is but don’t know. Like, we had this discussion recently. *boggle*
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@Miss Britt, but you are extra special, if you mean like the Special Olympics.
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Hey Britt, your name sounds a lot like Bratt!
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@Clown, and Flitt.
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FUCK
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Twitter: missbritt
, July 16th, 2009: 11:06 AM
@Clown, don’t be sad.
Avitable loves you.
Lots.
More than anyone.
See?
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@Clown, now you look dumb for your random outburst.
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@Avitable, now you look dumb for your random beard!
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@Clown, touche.
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
#11 is about me, I’m sure of it…you are too sweet <3 I'll make sure to be much more hateful to you in the future =)
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@Robin, I look forward to it.
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Wondering if each of those was about a different person or if some have duplicate recipients?
Will probably do my own, but I might email it to everyone it’s about, with their #. Maybe.
Very awesome.
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@Blaine, there are a few duplicate recipients.
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Knowing there’s this precious side in there helps me stick it out through things like… being Avitaballed.
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@Atomic Bombshell, but the Avitaballs ARE precious!
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Awwww, I like nice Avitable
And dude, you are looking GOOOOOD!!!! Can’t wait to see you in October!!
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@Janelle, thanks.
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And I mean this with the utmost sincerity (which you will not believe because it is coming from me, but I digress): your blog makes the world a better place. Also, you have my telephone number now so that you can send me pictures of your boobs.
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@Aunt Becky, that is very sweet. Boob pictures are forthcoming.
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Hey I would like pictures of your boobs as well.
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Twitter: s_csr
, July 16th, 2009: 5:27 PM
@Mars, Does he even have boobs anymore?
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), I never did – I’m not the moob type.
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@Mars, would nuts work?
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@Avitable, nuts work for me!!
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@Mars, here you go. Don’t say I never gave you anything. Do not click this link.
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Number #18 is actually something I say a lot when I see what people can do in videos and photos.
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@martymankins, I actually meant it for my friend who does graphic design.
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Twitter: mooshinindy
says:
I’m feeling warm and fuzzy in places.
Oh wait.
I just need a Brazilian.
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@moosh in indy., your talk of hirsute lady parts offends my delicate sensibilities.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Re: #20, I fondly remember it, too. I just wish I hadn’t “shown you mine” at age 7. That was probably inappropriate.
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@muskrat, but it was so damned impressive how could you not?
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Well, my darling, I loved this post so much, I decided to steal it.
Thanks for the inspiration… and the lovefest. Mine isn’t so lovefest-y though.
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I’m probably none of the above, but if I was some or one of the above it could be 9, 14, and/or 17
but like I said, I’m probably nothing lol!
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