Last night I went over to Faiqa and Tariq’s house and had a Bollywood night with Britt & Jared, Hilly, and James & Carolina. We were served real Indian food that was delicious (even if it was toned down for my American palate) and we watched a Bollywood film called “Om Shanti Om”. It was a fun night and both educational and entertaining!
Here are the top 5 things I learned about Bollywood movies:
5. The word “fish” is a perfectly good substitute for “fuck”.
4. Alternating between Hindi and English is a good way to confuse the hell out of white people.
3. There is no such thing as “too many musical numbers” or “too long of a movie”.
2. If you ever get stranded in India, just call everybody “Dude”. They’ll totally get it.
1. When in doubt, dance your fishin’ ass off.
For your viewing pleasure, here’s one of the more popular songs from the film. This song is notable because more huge Bollywood stars appeared together to sing and dance than ever before. You might recognize Bhrad Patel, Ghiorgi Kharouni, Rhaboort D’Neerah, Anjuli Shulie, and Sanjya Bhoolik if you look closely.
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What the fish, dude? That reincarnation stuff blew my “linear white mind”.
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@Hilly, I know. How dare we watch a movie and think logically about it!
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Twitter: Faiqa
on July 18th, 2009 at Saturday, July 18, 2009 @ 9:39 am
@Hilly, Hee hee… that “linear white mind” line was a thing of beauty.
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Where was Aishwarya Rai?
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@Dave2, I didn’t know who that was until I looked her up. She might have been in that video, too – they said all the major actors and actresses were.
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@Avitable, She is considered by many to be the most beautiful woman alive (probably spurred on by Roger Ebert). I find it hard to debate that, because she truly is beautiful. I’ve seen a handful of her movies, and she seems a capable actress too.
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Twitter: Faiqa
on July 18th, 2009 at Saturday, July 18, 2009 @ 9:36 am
@Dave2, One of the guys in this video is her ex-boyfriend. So, she probably refused to be in it.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Huh weirdly I did not recognize them
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@Amanda, don’t feel bad. I didn’t either
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@Amanda, but did you recognize the names that I wrote? They’re a bit tweaked, but sound them out.
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So. How was Harry Potter? Did it live up to the hype? Am I going to be disappointed?
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@bluepaintred, I liked it a lot, but they left out quite a bit from the book.
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Lookie here. The next time you are all doing something fun…and you do not call Nis and I…there is going to be fishin’ war, okay…DUDE?
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@CP, you’re going to drive two and a half fishin’ hours each way to spend three hours with us? Are you fishin’ crazy?
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We have a station that plays Bollywood films every Saturday morning.
I have no idea what is going on, but it makes me smile.
PS – nice job with the Bollywood actor names.
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@B.E. Earl, glad that you noticed that. I wondered if anyone would.
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See, i just dance along to Bollywood movies when they come on. They’re great.. I went from a size 58 to a size 3 in two and a half weeks.
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@Veep Veep, you should sell that diet on TV. Get Billy Mays to do it – oh wait.
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OK, OK, it took me a while to get it, but I have just woken up for fish’s sake. This did put a little smile on my face, though. A little one.
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@Amy B., to get what? The names of the famous Bollywood celebs?
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@Avitable, yes, the names. I was all like, “How the hell does he expect us to recognize who Sanjya Bhoolik is? Am I that behind on my entertainment news? Then I realized it was like some Reader’s Digest word puzzle that for some reason is simple for every half-demented senior citizen I know but stumps me for hours.
But I am blonde.
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P.S. You need to change your comment thingy to read “Hold your fishin’ horses.”
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@Amy B., well, the whole “fish” thing will just be a trend with me, I think.
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You must have some great friends, I couldn’t make it through the first 4 minutes. I need to get out more. Evidently, I’m missing something.
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@ML, it’s fun with the booze and food and company.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Really? This is the most insulting post you could come up with? Are you on meds that I don’t know about?
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@Faiqa, I was hoping for some “naughty pussy” or at least “pain at the disco”!
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@Faiqa, why would I be insulting? I had a lot of fun! Did you even notice the names of the Bollywood celebs?
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
I am so sad that I fell asleep for the last 10 minutes of this movie, since clearly *I* was the only one who REALLY appreciated it.
I am obviously more culturally sensitive than anyone. Including those damn brown people who kept making fun of it.
I SHOULD BE AN INDIAN PRINCESS!
That’s what I learned last night.
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@Miss Britt, but do you want to be the pregnant one who burns to death?
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Twitter: missbritt
on July 19th, 2009 at Sunday, July 19, 2009 @ 5:03 pm
@Avitable, why are you always judging me?
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@Miss Britt, it’s what I doooo.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Indians seem to be a lot happier than we are. Are we doing something wrong? Is it because I never dropped down into a vat of shit to get an autograph?
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@muskrat, it’s the food. Theirs is so tasty!
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I found Dard-E Disco!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UIdjfIYmxo
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@Hilly, I really wanted the final denouement dance, but couldn’t find it.
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No mention of Harry Potter VI. Did it suck so bad that you had to replace the data in those brain cells with Bollywood info?
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@Grant, no, it was pretty good. Not worthy of a review, though.
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Twitter: whall
says:
So *that*’s what Madonna is chanting on about on her Ray of Light album.
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@whall, she’s actually chanting “Bum Sharty Bum” because she tried to fart and pooped her pants.
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Okay – I have seen 2 Bollywood movies and I really liked them – am I some kind of freak?!
Anyway, you forgot to mention how beautiful and colorful they are…
Also, Ghiorgi Kharouni is my FAVORITE, as you know.
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Twitter: missbritt
on July 18th, 2009 at Saturday, July 18, 2009 @ 11:32 am
@Sybil Law, I loved it. So, no.
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@Miss Britt, Good! Honestly, I need to find out which movies I’ve seen, because they were really good. I enjoyed the colors and clothing just as much as the actual film.
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@Sybil Law, I really liked it, too. It was very fun, even if it was a bit long.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
That movie looked just like Grease! Was it like Grease??
I would love to go over to Faiqa and Tariq’s home for real Indian food. Can you hook me up with an invite?
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@Poppy, next time you’re here, I’ll talk to my people and see if I can pull a few strings.
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Twitter: shellimil
says:
I didn’t get the name thing at first, either, but really all I came here for was to get your opinion on the HP movie. And to see if anyone broke your rules.
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@Shelli, the HP movie was good – nothing worthy of a review, though.
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And thank you for that. I used to catch this “Punjabi Music Video” show on cable TV when I lived in Pasadena, but I can’t find that channel down here in Orange County. This was/is one of my favorite videos!
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@Atomic Bombshell, it’s a great one. The songs are a lot of fun!
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I keep thinking of the commercial where they start with a scene from a Bollywood musical and then an Indian guy pokes his head onto the screen and says “Vy arr you vawtching dis terrrribul movee?” Not sure why I thought of that. Ahem.
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@Kiefer and Emo, cheesy movies can be a blast with the right people.
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I actually really love Bollywood movies… and Indian food? My absolute total favourite. Like so much I would choose it over pizza. LOVE.
Glad you had fun! You think you could reenact the dance at BlogHer?
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@sam {temptingmama}, the dance seemed pretty simple, so yes. Will I, though? No.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
that sounds like a fan fucking tastic night. i’m only totally jealous.
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10 minutes of dancing, and all I learned is that belly dancers will give you whiplash…..
Actually it was, as you said, a little long but very entertaining. Was that filmed in the actual the Dell tech support break room?
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