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The Bloggers of #BlogHer09: Limericks are Hard

Just when you thought I was done with my BlogHer posts, I drag you back in. Rather than trying to remember every single person I met last weekend and risk hurting feelings by leaving someone out, I’m going to try a little experiment.

I have a stack of 50-60 business cards that I got from different bloggers whom I met during the conference. I’m going to pick out 10 random ones, and write a limerick about each one.

10. Piper of Love:
There once was a redhead named Piper,
She seemed quiet and not at all hyper.
We said hi a few times,
And did a few lines,
And she got taken out by a police sniper.

9. Momo Fali:
I encountered dear Momo Fali,
Giving blowjobs in a dark alley,
I paid her tons of dough,
To fuck my ass real slow,
And scream that my name is Sally.

8. The Bitchin’ Wife:
Amy is known as The Bitchin’ Wife,
Tall and hot and sharp as a knife,
I would have loved to chat,
Talked about this or that,
But I was afraid she’d end my life.

7. Shauna Glenn:
Shauna’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle,
She’s petite and tiny and cute and little,
Her sarcasm bites,
I love how she writes,
And she’s too classy to show me her tittle.

6. Motherbumper:
I met a blogger whose name was Katie,
Soaking wet, she can’t weigh more than 80,
She looks like Winona,
That gave me a bonah,
Which I ran up and poked into Mr. Lady.

5. Citizen of the Month:
The blogger named Neil Kramer,
Could have been much, much lamer,
He made my top ten list,
Of people who are Jewish,
(No, they’re not all the samer.)

4. Alphamom:
There once was a blogger named Isabel,
Who ran a CheeseburgHer party quite well,
She paid everyone off,
If they as much as coughed,
And she may never get rid of that burger smell.

3. Amalah:
There’s a blog out there called “Amalah”,
It should always be pronounced the same-a-lah.
The author, Amy Storch,
Is so hot she’ll scorch,
And I doubt she remembered my name-a-lah.

2. Mrs. Fussypants:
The blond curly woman drew near,
In her eyes I saw glistening tears,
Before she started to run,
I told her I’d stop making fun,
And she used language that would burn your ears.

1. Redneck Mommy:
There once was a redneck named Tanis,
Who actually had quite a large penis,
She said “eh” and “aboot”,
And was good for a hoot,
Until she stuck her dick in my anus.

All of these are completely true, except for the parts that aren’t.

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77 Replies to “The Bloggers of #BlogHer09: Limericks are Hard”

  1. katie ~ motherbumper

    I HAVE MADE IT! No one ever writes me poetry dude. Especially poetry that includes the word boner. And the fact that you could fit anus into that one about Tanis, brilliant. Loved meeting you but even more so, love that I now have a picture of you naked.

  2. amy @ bitchin' wives club

    And I thought YOU were the intimidating one. πŸ˜‰ I’m so glad I accosted you on that first crazy night, but sad I didn’t do it again on Saturday night when I actually could’ve maybe had a conversation with you. The Men of BlogHer panel was brilliant, one of my top three BlogHer moments.

    Limericks are a low art and I’m not surprised to find that you’ve brought them to a new level. These are hilarious. The last one for Tanis was the best!

  3. Poppy

    Are they really business cards if there’s no business behind them? Shouldn’t they be called blog cards or something?

    You’re in love with Redneck Mommy. That’s adorable. πŸ™‚

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