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A vocabulary lemson

A while ago, I wrote a post about the Washington Post Mensa Invitational. The Invitational called on readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. I came up with my own group of words and in the comments, many of you came up with ones that were more clever than anything I could think of.

Here are some of the examples from the Mensa Invitational:

  1. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
  2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  3. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  4. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
  5. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And here are some of my new additions to the dictionary:

  1. Lemson: A life lesson that leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
  2. Artane: A work of art that is only understood by a few.
  3. Cateat: The warning you give your feline before kicking it.
  4. Eballient: Extremely enthusiastic testicular activity.
  5. Odiumb: An intense hatred or dislike of stupid people.
  6. Peejorative: When you really have to urinate and everything you do trying to get to the bathroom makes it worse.
  7. Tactiturn: Choosing to stay silent because you don’t have anything nice to say.
  8. Grandeloquent: Expressing normal terms of measure (e.g., Small, Medium, Large) in pompous ways.
  9. Sequine: Pertaining to gay horses.
  10. Scuntilla: A small vagina.
  11. Dietribe: A bitter rant about why your diet isn’t working.
  12. Spithy: So concise and forceful in speech that you spit while you talk.
  13. Abscure: When your stomach muscles are hidden by a layer of flab.
  14. Virtusoso: A performer who really isn’t all that exceptional.
  15. Irancor: Deep anger and ill will towards a country in the Middle East.

Do you have an altered word that you think is better than these? Take any dictionary word, and add, subtract, or change ONE LETTER, and give the new definition in the comments.

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81 Replies to “A vocabulary lemson”

  1. B.E. Earl

    inAvitable – incapable of being Av-oided or Av-aded .

    Use it in a sentence, please. OK.

    “She was always misplacing her favorite toys. So when she lost her 12-inch dildo, she just knew it was inAvitable.”

  2. Grant

    One I created through a spelling mistake at work:

    Enginerring – the ability for highly educated and well paid IT professionals to design and implement systems that are completely wrong.

  3. Dave2

    B.E. Earl took mine, but I have a different definition…

    Inavitable… The inescapable certainty that Avitable will find some mundane meme or dorky challenge and so vastly improve upon it that it actually becomes entertaining.

  4. Johnny

    pretard – v. slowing down in advance, n. someone less advanced than a preschooler
    skintillating – adj. able to hold attention due to skimpy outfit
    genieus – n. someone who magically acquired his/her talents
    crumps – n. shooting pain in your butt cheeks from overexertion
    oafmeal – n. the breakfast of idiots

    I have to get back to work now…

  5. sizzle

    My favorites are: Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it and Abscure: When your stomach muscles are hidden by a layer of flab.

    You teach me so much, Adam.

  6. Loukia

    This totally reminds me of Douglas Adams’ The Meaning of Liff… have you read? I’m sure you have. And I’m so not good at this sort of thing, so I’ll just it to you, the expert – totally hilarious!!

  7. muskrat

    Avitaqle: an elixir one takes at night to quell coughing and initiate drowsiness but has the unwanted side effect of causing an awakening to facial hair and misuse of the word “retarded.”

    hangrover: having too much to drink one night and waking up curled up next to the dog (i know i bent the rules on the lettering with this one).

    sydomy: sticking your schlong in an androgynous person’s ass.

  8. whall

    Obalma – Magical healing lotion that promises to cure any disease.
    Shitler – Poking your nose into someone else’s business so much you want to control whether they live or not based on their socially redeeming qualities.
    Nosie O’donnell – see “shitler”
    Pain – Yuletide Sarah Palin (get it? Noel?)
    Mhetorical Question – when you ask an question that requires a bland answer

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