Jesus Fucking Christ
I was working on an interview with the recently deceased John Hughes, but it's taking longer than I thought. Instead, I thought I'd just share this little gem with you, sent to me by Nobody.
Have a great Monday!
Posted in Dirty talk | Tags: avitable, christianity, dark humor, funny, going to hell, holy, humor, jesus, jesus christ
I'm sorry. All I can think when I see that is "Look Ma, no hands!"
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@Maura – @MoBurns67, well, I think the bottom has a good grip.
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@Avitable, I think I still like this one better..
http://www.eagerbeavershirts.com/product.php?id_product=19
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OMFG, that really IS Jesus Fucking Christ!!!
Loves it.
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@VDog, this is better than those literal music videos.
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Oh Adam. You are so going to Hell.
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), I didn't know that hell had to be capitalized.
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@Avitable, When you are speaking of the place, then yeah Hell is capitalized. Proper noun in my book, yo.
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), well, in my book, it's not!
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@Avitable, Well, clearly you read the wrong book. And really, who cares what you think? Jesus doesn't even like you, turdface.
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LOL.
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@Maria,
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Win!
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@Summer, I just wish I had thought of it.
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No words.
Except those.
And you're such an instigator.
I'm just gonna sit back and watch…
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@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], I'm not instigating, just sharing the wealth!
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That's hot
(Say it like Paris Hilton to get the full effect, please)
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@bluepaintred, I always do. On night vision getting fucked at the same time, too.
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wait. why does Jesus have no tan line?
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@bluepaintred, because He's up in the clouds nude sunbathing. Duh.
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Nice font.
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@Deb on the Rocks, wish I had come up with it myself.
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Oh my God…literally!!!
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@Ginger, I wonder what He shouts out when he comes.
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SHEILA STOLE MY COMMENT!!!
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@Miss Britt, Adam should be very afraid because if *we* think he's wrong, Jesus definitely does.
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@Miss Britt, she's a dirty little tramp.
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I wonder if they are using protection or just hoping that their Jesus Juice doesn't do any damage.
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@martymankins, Jesus is always d&d free. Don't be blasphemous. Heh.
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You're definitely going to burn in hell. Wow.
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@Staceylt, I'll just repent on my deathbed. You'll see!
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bwahahahahaha!
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@floating princess,
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So, if I laughed (and forwarded the link), does that mean I'm going to hell, too? Because I'm not sure I had quite sealed my fate yet… *snort*
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@Chibi Jeebs, it's signed, sealed and delivered now.
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Wow, I think you just crossed a personal line for me. I am speechless. Never thought I'd ever see *anything* as vulgar and profane as this on a blog.
Bye.
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@Julie, I came here to voice this exact same opinion. Chow.
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@Julie, so a doctored image of Jesus fucking Himself in the ass crosses a personal line for you? Why do you hate gays?
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I was hoping for a little Holy Trinity action.
And even if Christ is a bottom, you'd think he'd still figure out to use the self-tanner. White legs much?
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@the slackmistress, oh the Ghost is there. You just can't see him!
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Dood. Hell called. They are SO looking for your ass. And I mean…your ASS.
T.
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@Tina@SendChocolate, I'm totally a top. Look out Christ!
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Nobody with a beard like that has a butt that bare. Jesus waxes.
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@Whit, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
This comment is made of WIN
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@Whit, they just used the Holy Photoshop.
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Ohhh, I just let out a huge giggle, then reading the comments made me laugh more.
Christ has an extremely white ass. And a tattoo. Win.
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@Ashleigh, I didn't even notice the tat!
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Oh geez. Oh Jesus. Oh jesus fucking cripes. I mean Christ
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@mariah, just don't say Holy Fucking Shit, okay?
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Is Jesus about to spank Christ because he hath sinned?
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@Zoeyjane, no, I think He's about to come down from the mount, though.
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Hehehe.
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@Sarah,
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Can't wait to see what you'd do with the phrase, "Holy Shit".
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@Laura, I wish I could take credit for it!
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I hope you know that you are TOTALLY going to hell. But with any luck, I will be your neighbor. LMAO.
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@Lynette, I think that I'll go to heaven for showing love for my fellow man.
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You are so wrong. So very very wrong. I love it.
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@flutter, oh but it feels so right.
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it happens.
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@Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy, by accident? Oops, I fell and stuck my dick in your ass?
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Wow…just, wow. Just wow.
What's funny is that I say "Jesus Fucking Christ" all the time….but now I actually have a visual.
Damn.
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@Robin, I bet you're less likely to say that now!
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Why Adam, anyone would think that you actually aim to cause controversy.
:)
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@Dan, moi? I just try to spread my message of neighborly love. Hot, gay, manly, neighborly love.
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Damn, it's a good day to be an Atheist. Your offensive superpowers have no effect on me!! Of course, a true equal-opportunity asshole would find a way to make fun of Mohammad, Joseph Smith, Buddha, Durga, Krishna and Radha, Confucius, Abraham, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. That has potential for one (going to) Hell of an orgy collage!
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@RebTurtle, just for you, I'll try to make fun of each of those this year.
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Heh, I was just talking about Jesus and wooden shoes today at DutchBitch's blog. I wonder if that means I'm going to hell too?
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@Lynda, only if by wooden shoes, you meant anal sex.
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Jesus is going to spank Christ! Gives new meaning to the idea of sinners being "punished." Whodathunk that meant bare back spankings and assplay? But please, dear god, don't let there exist an illustration of "Jesus Motherfucking Christ."
See you in Hell, my friend.
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@Jurgen Nation, or "Jesus Tittyfucking Christ".
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@Avitable, The first thing that came to mind was "Or Jesus Cousinfucking Christ." I need to go drink some wine and slam back some bread-like wafers.
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@Jurgen Nation, don't forget to genuflect.
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@Avitable, Aaaaaand here comes another inappropriate and sacrilegious visual. You are BAD NEWS, Avitable, for making me think of such things. Ha! Love it.
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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.
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@Lauren, did you just come too?
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@Avitable, Looks that way. You are definitely my new favorite blog. *HUMP*
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I'll save you a seat in hell. All the fun people will be there.
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@Karen Sugarpants, so you're admitting that because of your advanced age, you'll be there before me?
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@Avitable, DOH!
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@Karen Sugarpants, you left the door wide open!
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i n the immortal words of paris hilton:
"thats hot".
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@sudobeer, it's awesome that you're the second person to reference Paris Hilton in the comments.
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Passion of Christ?
Last Temptation of Christ?
Obviously someone wasn't all "I don't know how to love him"
Which one is the Superstar?
(too good to pass up and not enough coffee yet to alliterate.)
Thanks for blaspheming for us all.
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@avatgardener, OK I am going straight to hell for laughing as hard as I did when I initially saw the picture, but now, I'm going to that special place in hell reserved for really naughty little girls.
I'll save you a seat. *lol*
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@avatgardener, curiously concentrating commenter cans cuckoo commenting, causes consternation.
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I win! My wife said I shouldn't post that, it's too offensive. I said, "But Avitable would post it, so why can't I?". She didn't think even you would post it, but here it is, in all it's glory.
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@Nobody™, shouldn't that be "in all His Glory"?
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We're not going to have to even argue about the blasphemy and offensiveness this time, are we? Cause dude, you'd have no case.
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@Hilly, oh, I know it. I'm going to have this put on a T-shirt and wear it around you, though.
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Ummmm. Uhhhhhh.
I still love you, but, I'm thinking you should have stuck with "FUCK A DUCK!"
Am now going to await the apocalypse under my cat quilt. 'Night!
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@Coal Miner's Granddaughter, yeah, if only I thought of it!
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Well, it is what it says it is. *laughs and goes directly to hell*
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@JD at I Do Things, exactly. It's just literal!
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Am I going to hell for seeing that? I kind of feel like I am.
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@Bridget, no. You're going to hell for the many other things you've done. This is just the icing on the cake.
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*appalled*
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@muskrat, and slightly turned on? Admit it, I know it's true.
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Why do you have two guys with beards banging on your blog? At least explain it, instead of being all cryptic. You did a pretty good job cutting out the background though.
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@Clown, ask your mom and she'll explain it.
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@Avitable, I can't ask anybody. Some bearded jerk wrapped me with sarap wrap thinking it would make me look slimy.
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@Clown, stab stab.
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What would Jesus Do?
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@piersgavestonjr, you mean WHO Would Jesus Do?
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@piersgavestonjr, Himself.
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bwahahhahahaa
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@christie,
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Are your horns retractable or something?!
:P
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@Sybil Law, I grind them down once a week.
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Somebody please, PLEASE tell me Obama gets to see this.
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@lceel, HAHAHAHA! Okay, your comment was the first one on this post to actually make me laugh out loud.
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Hilarious. Sacrilegious… but mostly hilarious.
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@Badass Geek, sacrilarious?
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BWAHAHAHAHA! The coffee all over my monitor is totally worth the laugh this gave me. You are awesome – going to hell – but awesome. I'll start working on a handbasket for your ride to the underworld.
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@perpstu, how about some gloves? I suspect it will actually be cold in Hell.
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Is it bad that I'm not offended at all by this?
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@Amanda, no. That's why I like you!
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Holy shit. Literally.
And, is that a tan line the Anointed One is sporting?
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@Audrey at Barking Mad, yeah, He got it on the cross.
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You could do a whole series of these.
Start with:
Bucky fucking Dent
(Red Sox fans will understand that one)
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@B.E. Earl, zzzz, oh sorry, your baseball talk put me to sleep.
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Wow, neat. I'd show that to my creationist neighbour, but I think he's still reeling from the "Evolution of Man" mural I dared my husband to paint on the kids' playhouse.
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@Nenette, oh, very nice!
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I have nothing to day about this but I do have to tell you I had a dream last night that I came to your house and accidentally peed on your bed. Oh, and I ate all of your cheese spread. I really think you needed to know that.
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@Jen, my wife would cut someone for eating her brie! The peeing is okay, though.
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I can't believe you posted it, well I can… but damn, did he tell you there was a bet involved?
Damn, Damn, Damn….
I hate losing.
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@Mrs. Nobody, you're totally going to get it in the butt now, aren't you? Sorry.
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@Avitable, Nah, we don't bet like that…
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That is hilarious. I am totally not offended by this and I kinda feel bad about that. Your commenters are very funny.
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@J from Ireland, no Catholic guilt over it?
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I knew Jesus didn't hate the gays.
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@Carolyn Online, He loves those who love themselves. Literally.
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I'd hate to see Holy Fucking Shit!
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@David, that might cross the boundaries of good taste. Even for me.
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PLEASE knock on my door as you pass to get to your room in hell. We'll get a party started.
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@MariaV, where will you be? Purgatory?
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Hey, even Jesus had to get his freak on.
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@Denise, He needs love too.
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Ok, so I learned a valuable leason..
Don't click on your blog whem my bloglines tells me you've updated… while at work….
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@nalene, yeah, my blog is rarely work safe!
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Hideous. I'm outta here. Take care Avitable.
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@Samantha, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. If you can't handle something as basic as this, what the fuck are you doing reading my blog?
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@Avitable, it didn't, thanks. I'm just thankful my basic, isn't your basic. No reason to get your panties in a wad over my feelings though. But to answer your question, exactly.
It's going to suck not reading/watching the train wreck bound for hell (party theme?), but eh I'll get over it. That was meant as a joke. See haha funny lol, giggle… ok maybe only funny to me.
Seriously though not judging you at all, not my job. It's just your blog content has toed the line of my comfort zone for years and this finally crossed it. This isn't about you so much as it's about me. I apologize for making my feelings known in your "house" instead of clicking the x up top. At the moment I felt the need to take a stand, even if a small one, for someone I believe in and love dearly. No longer justifying the uncomfortable content so I can keep reading the comfortable stuff, is my stand.
Bottom line, what you do is your business and what I do is mine and we just can't do our business together anymore. hahaha, now that was funny.
VERY warm regards – lolable? ok well just bye.
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hahahahaha, very nice.
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@Maddie Marie, you're totally imagining Jesus Fucking Maddie now aren't you?
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Hands down (or asses up) best thing I've seen all day.
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@Sassy, same here. Except when I stared in the mirror naked this morning.
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@Avitable, I don't doubt it.
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So that is where the Catholic priests got the idea for things to do with those altar boys
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@David, exactly.
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Oh my. Now THAT's putting things literally.
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@Elisa, yup! You'll never say that again without seriously thinking about it, now, will you?
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I am so glad I didn't catch up on my blogs at work today! Reading the comments was almost better than my initial reaction. I am never going to be the same when I say "Jesus Fucking Christ" from now on. Never.
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@Elizabeth Kaylene, see? It made you think!
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Sorry, Adam, but the comments are the best part of this post. :0
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Ride em cowboy…it is a visual i will have every time i hear the phrase…
You should check out Barking Mad…it is a phrase she often uses…
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