Jesus Fucking Christ

I was working on an interview with the recently deceased John Hughes, but it’s taking longer than I thought. Instead, I thought I’d just share this little gem with you, sent to me by Nobody.

jfc

Have a great Monday!

Enjoy this post? Try these:
My interview with Michael Jackson, the King of Pop
50 reasons I won’t share, stumble, like, or RT your content and 5 reasons I will.
My interview with Corey Haim
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158 Responses to Jesus Fucking Christ

  1. I’m sorry. All I can think when I see that is “Look Ma, no hands!”

    Reply

    @Maura – @MoBurns67, well, I think the bottom has a good grip.

    Reply

    @Avitable, I think I still like this one better..

    http://www.eagerbeavershirts.com/product.php?id_product=19

    Reply

  2. VDog
    Twitter:
    says:

    OMFG, that really IS Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

    Loves it.

    Reply

    @VDog, this is better than those literal music videos.

    Reply

  3. Oh Adam. You are so going to Hell.

    Reply

    @Sheila (Charm School Reject), I didn’t know that hell had to be capitalized.

    Reply

    @Avitable, When you are speaking of the place, then yeah Hell is capitalized. Proper noun in my book, yo.

    Reply

    @Sheila (Charm School Reject), well, in my book, it’s not!

    Reply

    @Avitable, Well, clearly you read the wrong book. And really, who cares what you think? Jesus doesn’t even like you, turdface.

    Reply

    @Sheila (Charm School Reject), if you like Jesus so much, why don’t you fuck him?

    Reply

    @elijah snow, Who the heck are you? Shut up.

    Reply

  4. Maria says:

    LOL.

    Reply

    @Maria, :)

    Reply

  5. Summer says:

    Win!

    Reply

    @Summer, I just wish I had thought of it.

    Reply

  6. No words.

    Except those.

    And you’re such an instigator.

    I’m just gonna sit back and watch…

    Reply

    @Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], I’m not instigating, just sharing the wealth!

    Reply

  7. bluepaintred says:

    That’s hot

    (Say it like Paris Hilton to get the full effect, please)

    Reply

    @bluepaintred, I always do. On night vision getting fucked at the same time, too.

    Reply

  8. bluepaintred says:

    wait. why does Jesus have no tan line?

    Reply

    @bluepaintred, because He’s up in the clouds nude sunbathing. Duh.

    Reply

  9. Nice font.

    Reply

    @Deb on the Rocks, wish I had come up with it myself.

    Reply

  10. Ginger
    Twitter:
    says:

    Oh my God…literally!!! ;-)

    Reply

    @Ginger, I wonder what He shouts out when he comes.

    Reply

  11. Miss Britt says:

    SHEILA STOLE MY COMMENT!!!

    Reply

    @Miss Britt, Adam should be very afraid because if *we* think he’s wrong, Jesus definitely does.

    Reply

    @Miss Britt, she’s a dirty little tramp.

    Reply

  12. martymankins says:

    I wonder if they are using protection or just hoping that their Jesus Juice doesn’t do any damage.

    Reply

    @martymankins, Jesus is always d&d free. Don’t be blasphemous. Heh.

    Reply

  13. Staceylt says:

    You’re definitely going to burn in hell. Wow.

    Reply

    @Staceylt, I’ll just repent on my deathbed. You’ll see!

    Reply

  14. floating princess
    Twitter:
    says:

    bwahahahahaha!

    Reply

    @floating princess, :)

    Reply

  15. Chibi Jeebs says:

    So, if I laughed (and forwarded the link), does that mean I’m going to hell, too? Because I’m not sure I had quite sealed my fate yet… *snort*

    Reply

    @Chibi Jeebs, it’s signed, sealed and delivered now.

    Reply

  16. Julie says:

    Wow, I think you just crossed a personal line for me. I am speechless. Never thought I’d ever see *anything* as vulgar and profane as this on a blog.

    Bye.

    Reply

    @Julie, I came here to voice this exact same opinion. Chow.

    Reply

    @Julie, so a doctored image of Jesus fucking Himself in the ass crosses a personal line for you? Why do you hate gays?

    Reply

  17. I was hoping for a little Holy Trinity action.

    And even if Christ is a bottom, you’d think he’d still figure out to use the self-tanner. White legs much?

    Reply

    @the slackmistress, oh the Ghost is there. You just can’t see him!

    Reply

  18. Dood. Hell called. They are SO looking for your ass. And I mean…your ASS.

    T.

    Reply

    @Tina@SendChocolate, I’m totally a top. Look out Christ!

    Reply

  19. Whit
    Twitter:
    says:

    Nobody with a beard like that has a butt that bare. Jesus waxes.

    Reply

    @Whit, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    This comment is made of WIN

    Reply

    @Whit, they just used the Holy Photoshop.

    Reply

  20. Ashleigh
    Twitter:
    says:

    Ohhh, I just let out a huge giggle, then reading the comments made me laugh more.
    Christ has an extremely white ass. And a tattoo. Win.

    Reply

    @Ashleigh, I didn’t even notice the tat!

    Reply

  21. mariah says:

    Oh geez. Oh Jesus. Oh jesus fucking cripes. I mean Christ

    Reply

    @mariah, just don’t say Holy Fucking Shit, okay?

    Reply

  22. Zoeyjane
    Twitter:
    says:

    Is Jesus about to spank Christ because he hath sinned?

    Reply

    @Zoeyjane, no, I think He’s about to come down from the mount, though.

    Reply

  23. Sarah says:

    Hehehe.

    Reply

    @Sarah, :)

    Reply

  24. Laura
    Twitter:
    says:

    Can’t wait to see what you’d do with the phrase, “Holy Shit”.

    Reply

    @Laura, I wish I could take credit for it!

    Reply

  25. Lynette
    Twitter:
    says:

    I hope you know that you are TOTALLY going to hell. But with any luck, I will be your neighbor. LMAO.

    Reply

    @Lynette, I think that I’ll go to heaven for showing love for my fellow man.

    Reply

  26. flutter says:

    You are so wrong. So very very wrong. I love it.

    Reply

    @flutter, oh but it feels so right.

    Reply

  27. it happens.

    Reply

    @Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy, by accident? Oops, I fell and stuck my dick in your ass?

    Reply

  28. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    Wow…just, wow. Just wow.

    What’s funny is that I say “Jesus Fucking Christ” all the time….but now I actually have a visual.

    Damn.

    Reply

    @Robin, I bet you’re less likely to say that now!

    Reply

  29. Dan says:

    Why Adam, anyone would think that you actually aim to cause controversy.
    :)

    Reply

    @Dan, moi? I just try to spread my message of neighborly love. Hot, gay, manly, neighborly love.

    Reply

  30. RebTurtle says:

    Damn, it’s a good day to be an Atheist. Your offensive superpowers have no effect on me!! Of course, a true equal-opportunity asshole would find a way to make fun of Mohammad, Joseph Smith, Buddha, Durga, Krishna and Radha, Confucius, Abraham, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. That has potential for one (going to) Hell of an orgy collage!

    Reply

    @RebTurtle, just for you, I’ll try to make fun of each of those this year.

    Reply

  31. Lynda says:

    Heh, I was just talking about Jesus and wooden shoes today at DutchBitch’s blog. I wonder if that means I’m going to hell too?

    Reply

    @Lynda, only if by wooden shoes, you meant anal sex.

    Reply

  32. Jesus is going to spank Christ! Gives new meaning to the idea of sinners being “punished.” Whodathunk that meant bare back spankings and assplay? But please, dear god, don’t let there exist an illustration of “Jesus Motherfucking Christ.”

    See you in Hell, my friend.

    Reply

    @Jurgen Nation, or “Jesus Tittyfucking Christ”.

    Reply

    @Avitable, The first thing that came to mind was “Or Jesus Cousinfucking Christ.” I need to go drink some wine and slam back some bread-like wafers.

    Reply

    @Jurgen Nation, don’t forget to genuflect.

    Reply

    @Avitable, Aaaaaand here comes another inappropriate and sacrilegious visual. You are BAD NEWS, Avitable, for making me think of such things. Ha! Love it.

    Reply

  33. Lauren
    Twitter:
    says:

    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.

    Reply

    @Lauren, did you just come too?

    Reply

    @Avitable, Looks that way. You are definitely my new favorite blog. *HUMP*

    Reply

  34. I’ll save you a seat in hell. All the fun people will be there. :)

    Reply

    @Karen Sugarpants, so you’re admitting that because of your advanced age, you’ll be there before me?

    Reply

    @Avitable, DOH!

    Reply

    @Karen Sugarpants, you left the door wide open!

    Reply

  35. sudobeer says:

    i n the immortal words of paris hilton:

    “thats hot”.

    Reply

    @sudobeer, it’s awesome that you’re the second person to reference Paris Hilton in the comments.

    Reply

  36. avatgardener says:

    Passion of Christ?

    Last Temptation of Christ?

    Obviously someone wasn’t all “I don’t know how to love him”

    Which one is the Superstar?

    (too good to pass up and not enough coffee yet to alliterate.)
    Thanks for blaspheming for us all.

    Reply

    @avatgardener, OK I am going straight to hell for laughing as hard as I did when I initially saw the picture, but now, I’m going to that special place in hell reserved for really naughty little girls.

    I’ll save you a seat. *lol*

    Reply

    @avatgardener, curiously concentrating commenter cans cuckoo commenting, causes consternation.

    Reply

  37. I win! My wife said I shouldn’t post that, it’s too offensive. I said, “But Avitable would post it, so why can’t I?”. She didn’t think even you would post it, but here it is, in all it’s glory.

    Reply

    @Nobodyâ„¢, shouldn’t that be “in all His Glory”?

    Reply

  38. Hilly says:

    We’re not going to have to even argue about the blasphemy and offensiveness this time, are we? Cause dude, you’d have no case.

    Reply

    @Hilly, oh, I know it. I’m going to have this put on a T-shirt and wear it around you, though.

    Reply

  39. Ummmm. Uhhhhhh.

    I still love you, but, I’m thinking you should have stuck with “FUCK A DUCK!”

    Am now going to await the apocalypse under my cat quilt. ‘Night!

    Reply

    @Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, yeah, if only I thought of it!

    Reply

  40. Well, it is what it says it is. *laughs and goes directly to hell*

    Reply

    @JD at I Do Things, exactly. It’s just literal!

    Reply

  41. Bridget says:

    Am I going to hell for seeing that? I kind of feel like I am.

    Reply

    @Bridget, no. You’re going to hell for the many other things you’ve done. This is just the icing on the cake.

    Reply

  42. muskrat
    Twitter:
    says:

    *appalled*

    Reply

    @muskrat, and slightly turned on? Admit it, I know it’s true.

    Reply

  43. Clown says:

    Why do you have two guys with beards banging on your blog? At least explain it, instead of being all cryptic. You did a pretty good job cutting out the background though.

    Reply

    @Clown, ask your mom and she’ll explain it.

    Reply

    @Avitable, I can’t ask anybody. Some bearded jerk wrapped me with sarap wrap thinking it would make me look slimy.

    Reply

    @Clown, stab stab.

    Reply

  44. What would Jesus Do?

    Reply

    @piersgavestonjr, you mean WHO Would Jesus Do? ;)

    Reply

    @piersgavestonjr, Himself.

    Reply

  45. christie says:

    bwahahhahahaa

    Reply

    @christie, :)

    Reply

  46. Sybil Law says:

    Are your horns retractable or something?! :P

    Reply

    @Sybil Law, I grind them down once a week.

    Reply

  47. lceel
    Twitter:
    says:

    Somebody please, PLEASE tell me Obama gets to see this.

    Reply

    @lceel, HAHAHAHA! Okay, your comment was the first one on this post to actually make me laugh out loud.

    Reply

  48. Badass Geek says:

    Hilarious. Sacrilegious… but mostly hilarious.

    Reply

    @Badass Geek, sacrilarious?

    Reply

  49. perpstu
    Twitter:
    says:

    BWAHAHAHAHA! The coffee all over my monitor is totally worth the laugh this gave me. You are awesome – going to hell – but awesome. I’ll start working on a handbasket for your ride to the underworld.

    Reply

    @perpstu, how about some gloves? I suspect it will actually be cold in Hell.

    Reply

  50. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    Is it bad that I’m not offended at all by this?

    Reply

    @Amanda, no. That’s why I like you!

    Reply

  51. Holy shit. Literally.

    And, is that a tan line the Anointed One is sporting?

    Reply

    @Audrey at Barking Mad, yeah, He got it on the cross.

    Reply

  52. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    You could do a whole series of these.

    Start with:
    Bucky fucking Dent

    (Red Sox fans will understand that one)

    Reply

    @B.E. Earl, zzzz, oh sorry, your baseball talk put me to sleep.

    Reply

  53. Nenette says:

    Wow, neat. I’d show that to my creationist neighbour, but I think he’s still reeling from the “Evolution of Man” mural I dared my husband to paint on the kids’ playhouse.

    Reply

    @Nenette, oh, very nice!

    Reply

  54. Jen says:

    I have nothing to day about this but I do have to tell you I had a dream last night that I came to your house and accidentally peed on your bed. Oh, and I ate all of your cheese spread. I really think you needed to know that.

    Reply

    @Jen, my wife would cut someone for eating her brie! The peeing is okay, though.

    Reply

  55. Mrs. Nobody says:

    I can’t believe you posted it, well I can… but damn, did he tell you there was a bet involved?

    Damn, Damn, Damn….

    I hate losing.

    Reply

    @Mrs. Nobody, you’re totally going to get it in the butt now, aren’t you? Sorry.

    Reply

    @Avitable, Nah, we don’t bet like that… :-)

    Reply

  56. That is hilarious. I am totally not offended by this and I kinda feel bad about that. Your commenters are very funny.

    Reply

    @J from Ireland, no Catholic guilt over it?

    Reply

  57. I knew Jesus didn’t hate the gays.

    Reply

    @Carolyn Online, He loves those who love themselves. Literally.

    Reply

  58. David says:

    I’d hate to see Holy Fucking Shit!

    Reply

    @David, that might cross the boundaries of good taste. Even for me.

    Reply

  59. MariaV says:

    PLEASE knock on my door as you pass to get to your room in hell. We’ll get a party started. ;-)

    Reply

    @MariaV, where will you be? Purgatory?

    Reply

  60. Denise says:

    Hey, even Jesus had to get his freak on.

    Reply

    @Denise, He needs love too.

    Reply

  61. nalene says:

    Ok, so I learned a valuable leason..
    Don’t click on your blog whem my bloglines tells me you’ve updated… while at work….

    Reply

    @nalene, yeah, my blog is rarely work safe!

    Reply

  62. Samantha says:

    Hideous. I’m outta here. Take care Avitable.

    Reply

    @Samantha, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. If you can’t handle something as basic as this, what the fuck are you doing reading my blog?

    Reply

    @Avitable, it didn’t, thanks. I’m just thankful my basic, isn’t your basic. No reason to get your panties in a wad over my feelings though. But to answer your question, exactly.

    It’s going to suck not reading/watching the train wreck bound for hell (party theme?), but eh I’ll get over it. That was meant as a joke. See haha funny lol, giggle… ok maybe only funny to me.

    Seriously though not judging you at all, not my job. It’s just your blog content has toed the line of my comfort zone for years and this finally crossed it. This isn’t about you so much as it’s about me. I apologize for making my feelings known in your “house” instead of clicking the x up top. At the moment I felt the need to take a stand, even if a small one, for someone I believe in and love dearly. No longer justifying the uncomfortable content so I can keep reading the comfortable stuff, is my stand.

    Bottom line, what you do is your business and what I do is mine and we just can’t do our business together anymore. hahaha, now that was funny.

    VERY warm regards – lolable? ok well just bye.

    Reply

  63. Maddie Marie says:

    hahahahaha, very nice.

    Reply

    @Maddie Marie, you’re totally imagining Jesus Fucking Maddie now aren’t you?

    Reply

  64. Sassy says:

    Hands down (or asses up) best thing I’ve seen all day. ;)

    Reply

    @Sassy, same here. Except when I stared in the mirror naked this morning.

    Reply

    @Avitable, I don’t doubt it. ;)

    Reply

  65. David says:

    So that is where the Catholic priests got the idea for things to do with those altar boys

    Reply

    @David, exactly.

    Reply

  66. Elisa says:

    Oh my. Now THAT’s putting things literally.

    Reply

    @Elisa, yup! You’ll never say that again without seriously thinking about it, now, will you?

    Reply

  67. I am so glad I didn’t catch up on my blogs at work today! Reading the comments was almost better than my initial reaction. I am never going to be the same when I say “Jesus Fucking Christ” from now on. Never.

    Reply

    @Elizabeth Kaylene, see? It made you think!

    Reply

  68. Sorry, Adam, but the comments are the best part of this post. :0

    Reply

  69. Heidi says:

    Ride em cowboy…it is a visual i will have every time i hear the phrase…

    You should check out Barking Mad…it is a phrase she often uses…

    Reply

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