Morality is subjective

More Twitter throughout history

Back in June, I wrote a post that gave some examples of tweets we may have seen if Twitter was always around. I thought I’d revisit this topic today.

Twitter, for those of you ancient ones who think a feed reader is a magazine about grain and corn, is a microblogging site where people can tell the world what they’re doing, reply to other people who are saying what they’re doing, and enjoy a global nonstop conversation. It’s been around for a little over two years, and there are politicians, corporations, and celebrities using it alongside us common folk.

But what if Twitter had been around for longer than two years?

MamaCass I’m hungry. Should I have some soup or a ham sandwich?
9:45 PM Jul 29th, 1974 from BBS

MamasPapasFan45 @MamaCass Definitely the ham sandwich.
9:52 PM Jul 29th, 1974 from BBS in reply to @MamaCass

HarryReese Well, my experiment of mixing peanut butter and castor oil is a disaster. I’m a ruined man.
4:23 PM Aug 2nd, 1918 from teletype

BHershey @HarryReese Have you tried chocolate instead?
4:59 PM Aug 2nd, 1918 from teletype in reply to @HarryReese

HappyInHiroshima I lost my job today. And my wife told me she was cheating on me. Today couldn’t get any worse.
7:59 AM Aug 6th, 1945 from teletype

ColPTibbets @HappyInHiroshima Give it 15 minutes.
8:00 AM Aug 6th, 1945 from teletype in reply to @HappyInHiroshima

SharonStone Running a little late for the shoot today. Can’t believe I forgot my panties! Oh well, NBD.
6:46 AM Nov 20th, 1991 from web

J_Iscariot Oh man! The new iPhone comes out tomorrow but it costs thirty pieces of silver. I’m so bummed!
1:11 PM Feb 13th, 32 from messenger

Caiaphas001 @J_Iscariot, dude. Call me.
6:45 PM Feb 18th, 32 from messenger in reply to @J_Iscariot

ChrisReeve Wish me luck in today’s horse riding competition!
9:15 AM May 27th, 1995 from AOL

DanaR @ChrisReeve Good luck, my Superman!
9:22 AM May 27th, 1995 from AOL in reply to @ChrisReeve

BuddyH Anybody up for a fun party trip to Fargo?
11:32 PM Feb 2nd, 1959 from teletype

RitchieV @BuddyH I’ve never been in a small plane before. I’m there!
11:38 PM Feb 2nd, 1959 from teletype in reply to @BuddyH

BigB @BuddyH @RitchieV Hell yeah I’m up for it. I’ll bring the beer!
11:42 PM Feb 2nd, 1959 from teletype in reply to @BuddyH

71 thoughts on “More Twitter throughout history”

    1. @Redneck Mommy, actually, his name is Reeve, no “s”. I know this because I was the man’s biggest fan. I actually teared up when I went online to find the right date when he was paralyzed. But if I can’t mock the things that are sacred to me, I can’t mock the things that are sacred to others. And now I’m sad again!

  1. Have you done one from Jesus before?

    SonOfGod Getting a weird vibe from @JudasKiss . Supposed to meet up tonight at Gethsemane to talk about it. Hope it goes well.
    6:52 PM Mar 11th, 33 from CarrierPigeon

    JudasKiss @SonOfGod Don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine.
    6:57 PM Mar 11th, 33 from CarrierPigeon in reply to @SonOfGod

  2. Revisiting old topics? I’m guessing your latest celebrity victim escaped your death trap. When I get stuck for topics, I post pictures of hot Asian women. You should try it. There is not enough of that on the Internet.

      1. @Avitable, yeah, I’ve heard of it. They told me to take it when #2 wouldn’t come out… as in my second child, NOT the *other* #2. Although, as you also metioned, it can be used for that as well.
        Okay, I should’ve said “Castor oil and peanut butter?!”, or something to that effect.

  3. How I wish the new ObamaCare policies supported the tactectomy procedure, so I could get mine removed and be as funny and tasteless as you.

    I keep trying, but I fail. Kind of like the guy in Right Stuff… played by whatshisname Ed Harris. You know, couldn’t cuss at all even when he tried.

  4. MelvinSchnozwattle47 Guys! I’m just a few minutes late! Don’t start the signing without me! The hooker wouldn’t leave!
    9:07 AM Jul 4th, 1776 via messenger

    JHancockBoss @MelvinSchnozwattle57 No problem. We’ll hang.
    9:10 AM Jul 4th, 1776 via messenger

    ThomasJ @JHancockBoss No f-ing way that douche is signing his name to MY declaration.
    9:11 AM Jul 4th, 1776 via passed note

    JHancockBobb Word
    9:12 AM Jul 4th, 1776 via gang sign

  5. A perfect mix of dead people.

    What’s your obsession with death? Perhaps that is our best bonding experience. You should ask my brother about that time we saw War Games. I am sure I’ve blogged it before, but never from my big brother’s perspective.

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