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The Quarter Century

By the age of 25:

Orson Welles had coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.

Charlie Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.

Janis Joplin had grossed over a million dollars with her first hit.

Charles Lindbergh flew alone across the Atlantic Ocean.

Joseph Smith founded the Mormons.

John Singleton had directed “Boyz ‘N the Hood.”

Jack Nicklaus had won the Masters.

Mark Spitz had won 7 Olympic gold medals.

Steven Jobs had co-founded Apple Computer.

Mary Shelley had written Frankenstein.

Each of these accomplishments pales in the face of the accomplishment of Sheila, who turns 25 years old today. Founding a religion, writing a book, earning a ton of money or medals – none of these accomplishments can hold a candle to her crowning achievement. By the age of 25, Sheila was friends with Adam Avitable. And that is obviously the zenith of her life. There’s no topping it. It’s all downhill from here. Next she’ll be 30, then 50, then 75, then dead.

So go wish her a happy birthday while there’s still time and it’s still happy. Happy birthday, Sheila!

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47 Replies to “The Quarter Century”

  1. gorillabuns

    obviously, Sheila has way more going for her in her life than me. even at 25.

    man, at 25, i was going to make a change, feel self-important and go against what was expected of me. like a really bad 80’s movie if you should really know. make art for fucking art’s sake. screw the haters and search life of which was supposed to be of self-actualization and creation. instead, the changes/decisions i made were well, boring and commonplace.

    happy birthday,Sheila. May your next 25 years be full of only the best that life can shower and bring. make a difference. use your soul and mind to bring out the best YOU can bring. don’t become a drone. actually do what you were meant to do instead of settling for average.

    average is so very boring.

    and now, scene… that sounded way too informercial for even me.

  2. Nenette

    Happy Birthday, Sheila! πŸ™‚
    Geez, by 25, I’d graduated as an enginerd and moved out of my parents’ house, the latter being a major feat. I’d still be living there, if they’d had their way.
    Oh, and I was on my way to Hawai’i to live with a dude who worked at one of the volcanoes.

  3. harmzie

    Also, I think Bill Gates had done something or other. I can’t remember what.

    I remember reading that if you hadn’t done “it” by the time you were 23 (or 25 or 27 or something) that you wouldn’t have an “it” to be done. I read this when I was like 35 or something and thought “well, fuck”

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