By the age of 25:
Orson Welles had coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.
Charlie Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.
Janis Joplin had grossed over a million dollars with her first hit.
Charles Lindbergh flew alone across the Atlantic Ocean.
Joseph Smith founded the Mormons.
John Singleton had directed “Boyz ‘N the Hood.”
Jack Nicklaus had won the Masters.
Mark Spitz had won 7 Olympic gold medals.
Steven Jobs had co-founded Apple Computer.
Mary Shelley had written Frankenstein.
Each of these accomplishments pales in the face of the accomplishment of Sheila, who turns 25 years old today. Founding a religion, writing a book, earning a ton of money or medals – none of these accomplishments can hold a candle to her crowning achievement. By the age of 25, Sheila was friends with Adam Avitable. And that is obviously the zenith of her life. There’s no topping it. It’s all downhill from here. Next she’ll be 30, then 50, then 75, then dead.
So go wish her a happy birthday while there’s still time and it’s still happy. Happy birthday, Sheila!
Click for some nipple licking
Vince Carter and I are 34 today.
Go team!
From my table to yours
Twitter: poppycede
says:
YAAAY! Ok, going.
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@Poppy, so obedient!
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Oh my. The photo is wonderful. I don’t know this lovely young lady but the photo made it worth visiting. Adam, you make one hot female!
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@Staceylt, I know – I’m a smoking hot woman.
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Twitter: MarinkaNYC
says:
Those overachievers are so fucking annoying.
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@Marinka, I know – when did they have time to drink and blog?
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obviously, Sheila has way more going for her in her life than me. even at 25.
man, at 25, i was going to make a change, feel self-important and go against what was expected of me. like a really bad 80′s movie if you should really know. make art for fucking art’s sake. screw the haters and search life of which was supposed to be of self-actualization and creation. instead, the changes/decisions i made were well, boring and commonplace.
happy birthday,Sheila. May your next 25 years be full of only the best that life can shower and bring. make a difference. use your soul and mind to bring out the best YOU can bring. don’t become a drone. actually do what you were meant to do instead of settling for average.
average is so very boring.
and now, scene… that sounded way too informercial for even me.
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@gorillabuns, I’m sure that you still have plenty going for you. Especially with advice this good!
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Twitter: Carabee
says:
Best, and worst, picture ever.
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@Cara, you liked the nipple licking one but hated the other?
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Twitter: MrsLoulou
says:
Am seriously depressed now, with my lack of accomplishments. And I turn 33 OMG in a few weeks.
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@Loukia, ooh, you’re older than I am. Neener neener neener!
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Clearly you’re trying to depress me. I guess I’m not 25 yet, so I still have a shot to make my mark?
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@Amanda, you’d better hurry.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Damn, what a beautiful man.
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@muskrat, just make sure you keep your hands off of me in October!
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
I clicked.
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@B.E. Earl, why does that make you sad? Hot young ass doesn’t do it for you?
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Twitter: s_csr
, August 17th, 2009: 9:05 PM
@Avitable, Must’ve been because I hadn’t posted my drunk “It’s my birthday, bitches!” post yet. The sad one was still up! LOL I’m not quite sure how the fuck I typed that post….
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Twitter: VerdantDude
, August 17th, 2009: 11:20 PM
@Avitable, Just sad it wasn’t my nipple getting licked is all.
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Super salutations to Sheila.
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@avatgardener, strooth.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SHEILA!!!!!!!!!
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@Sybil Law, she’s not yours. She’s mine!
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@Avitable, Them’s fightin’ words!!!
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Twitter: s_csr
, August 17th, 2009: 9:09 PM
@Sybil Law, Girls, girls….in case you haven’t noticed….there is more than enough of my ass to go around! Now kiss and make up.
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Here’s some tongue…
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Twitter: mrlady
says:
Oh yeah, at 25 I’d had two people claw their way out of my vagina, I married some guy AND I quit the totally respectable job I had to be, oh yes, a COCKTAIL WAITRESS.
Top that.
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@Mr Lady, but did anyone claw their way INTO your vagina?
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Twitter: s_csr
, August 17th, 2009: 9:07 PM
@Avitable, By twenty-three I’d had two kids claw out of my vagina and marry some guy. I’m not a cocktail waitress but I am totally my bossman’s bitch. And I don’t get tips.
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Twitter: mrlady
says:
Also, happiest birthday wishes. I imagine she’ll be having WAY more fun than I did on my 25th.
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@Mr Lady, what did you do on your birthday?
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Twitter: s_csr
, August 17th, 2009: 9:08 PM
@Avitable, This is the only fun birthday I’ve ever had….well, except that time my mom took us rollerskating when I turned nine.
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Twitter: s_csr
, August 17th, 2009: 9:08 PM
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), But that comment was for Mr. Lady because Adam gets enough of my witty comments to give him yet another.
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Happy Birthday, Sheila!
Geez, by 25, I’d graduated as an enginerd and moved out of my parents’ house, the latter being a major feat. I’d still be living there, if they’d had their way.
Oh, and I was on my way to Hawai’i to live with a dude who worked at one of the volcanoes.
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@Nenette, enginerd. I like that.
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Fantastic. Now I want to go slit my wrists for being such a failure at 29.
THANKS, ADAM!
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@Miss Britt, but you’re also friends with me – that’s the most that anyone could hope to accomplish!
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
Thank you everyone for the awesome birthday wishes!
And Adam, I’ll be sure to inform my husband and children that they are the least of my accomplishments!
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), well, I haven’t met them yet to judge whether or not they are indeed accomplishments.
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Twitter: s_csr
, August 17th, 2009: 8:53 PM
@Avitable, I’ll be sure to inform my husband that he is forgettable. And we’ll rectify the Travis thing in less than a week. ::woot::
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Firstly, Happy Birthday, Sheila. I hope depression doesn’t set in when you realize there is now nothing more to achieve in life.
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@Marty, I’ll help her through it, since I am her greatest accomplishment.
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Also, I think Bill Gates had done something or other. I can’t remember what.
I remember reading that if you hadn’t done “it” by the time you were 23 (or 25 or 27 or something) that you wouldn’t have an “it” to be done. I read this when I was like 35 or something and thought “well, fuck”
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@harmzie, well, after 35, it’s all downhill. Might as well commit suicide now!
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
dammit, i missed sheila’s day. see what happens when i miss a few days of internet?
grrrrrrrrrr
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@hello haha narf, you should never be without the internet. That’s crazy!
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