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Unicorns make everything more awesome


Sweetney‘s declaration that Tim Gunn could only be more awesome if he was riding a unicorn gave me a thought. How else can we improve other amazing things in life?

Awesome Thing(s) Made Awesomer By
Tim Gunn Riding a Unicorn
The iPhone Being Made out of Chocolate and Diamonds
Ceiling Fans Having Telekinesis
Filet Mignon Kicking a Pirate’s Ass
President Obama Performing Open Heart Surgery Blindfolded
Dogs Knowing Spaceballs by Heart
My Penis Finding the Ark of the Covenant
Superman Smelling like Fresh Baked Apple Pie
Google Going Commando
Rainbow Suspenders Winning a Decathlon
Godfather I and II Curing Cancer
Will Smith Having a Robotic Arm that Shot Lasers
Diet Coke Coordinating Peace in the Middle East
Top Chef Including a Death Match
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Killing Nazi Mimes from Space

What awesome things can you think of that can be improved upon?

80 thoughts on “Unicorns make everything more awesome”

      1. @Avitable, Paula Deen has taken care of this via Krispy Kreme’s and Cheeseburgers. Actually I don’t think it was really her invention but someone over the pond somewhere came up with it and I will take their word for it thankyouverymuch.

    1. @bluepaintred, I don’t know about cloning husbands… could you imagine the volume of dirty socks and underwear on the floor??? But you CAN clone certain… uhm… parts of their anatomy if that’s what you’re going for πŸ™‚

        1. @muskrat, Tofu is awesome to my kids. I make it more awesome by frying it in olive oil or putting it in the blender with melted chocolate chips and, sometimes peanut butter. Then I call it “mousse.” Shh. Do not tell my kids tofu isn’t meant to be awesome.

      1. @Avitable, dude, anything mel brooks does is made of awesome (well, okay, Robin Hood: Men In Tights? not so much. But old skool MB? = WIN)… i’m just imagining every dog on the planet incessantly repeating: “May the Schwartz be with you.” and, you know, that’s when the gunfire begins.

  1. George Clooney – in my bed. Naked.
    Cars – able to fly. Also, cars – equipped with homing missles to blow up assfaces who can’t drive.
    Schools – handing out bottles of wine on the first day to the parents.

  2. I just don’t get how the iPhone would be made better by being made from chocolate. It would melt. Doesn’t make sense. And diamonds? Only if they weren’t blood diamonds dude.

    And how would your dick be better by finding the Ark of the Covenant?

    I’m so confused.

    I need a drink.

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