Sweetney‘s declaration that Tim Gunn could only be more awesome if he was riding a unicorn gave me a thought. How else can we improve other amazing things in life?
| Awesome Thing(s) | Made Awesomer By |
|---|---|
| Tim Gunn | Riding a Unicorn |
| The iPhone | Being Made out of Chocolate and Diamonds |
| Ceiling Fans | Having Telekinesis |
| Filet Mignon | Kicking a Pirate’s Ass |
| President Obama | Performing Open Heart Surgery Blindfolded |
| Dogs | Knowing Spaceballs by Heart |
| My Penis | Finding the Ark of the Covenant |
| Superman | Smelling like Fresh Baked Apple Pie |
| Going Commando | |
| Rainbow Suspenders | Winning a Decathlon |
| Godfather I and II | Curing Cancer |
| Will Smith | Having a Robotic Arm that Shot Lasers |
| Diet Coke | Coordinating Peace in the Middle East |
| Top Chef | Including a Death Match |
| Buffy the Vampire Slayer | Killing Nazi Mimes from Space |
What awesome things can you think of that can be improved upon?
Enjoy this post? Try these:How to make everything more awesome
My review of Alice in Wonderland (Spoiler Free)
The science of naming planets
Cheeseburgers made awesomer by being a cupcake as well.
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@Isabel, your wish has been granted. just follow this link : http://bakerella.blogspot.com/2009/06/fast-food-fun.html
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@Isabel, but would they taste like cheeseburgers AND cupcakes?
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@Avitable, Paula Deen has taken care of this via Krispy Kreme’s and Cheeseburgers. Actually I don’t think it was really her invention but someone over the pond somewhere came up with it and I will take their word for it thankyouverymuch.
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Caddyshack…Chevy Chase vibrator
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@Brittany, you want a vibrator shaped like Chevy Chase?
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@Avitable, Yes. Yes I do. I’ve been in love with him since Paul Simon’s You Can Call Me Al.
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sex – if you could make husband clone(s)
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@bluepaintred, I don’t know about cloning husbands… could you imagine the volume of dirty socks and underwear on the floor??? But you CAN clone certain… uhm… parts of their anatomy if that’s what you’re going for
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@bluepaintred, or clones of yourself!
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
Superman was greatly improved in late 1992. Then they, the DC powers that be, fucked it all up by bringing him back.
One day, grasshopper, you will realize how much Supes sucks. One day.
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@B.E. Earl, someday, in your old age, you’ll realize how wrong you were about the awesomeness of Superman.
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This is poetry.
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@headbang8, did you just call me gay?
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
A unicorn is made awesomer by having Michael Jackson riding him singing “Cry”*
* or “2000 Watts”
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@whall, are those MJ songs?
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
, August 21st, 2009: 9:11 AM
@Avitable, yes, they are off the Invincible album.
Your comment reply would have been made awesomer with some GTS.
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Twitter: Zoeyjane
says:
Tofu could only be made more awesome by…oh wait. Tofu isn’t awesome at all. I suck at this game.
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@Zoeyjane, I’m sure tofu is awesome to someone somewhere.
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Twitter: themuskrat
, August 21st, 2009: 12:29 PM
@Avitable, Nope. Not anywhere.
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@muskrat, Tofu is awesome to my kids. I make it more awesome by frying it in olive oil or putting it in the blender with melted chocolate chips and, sometimes peanut butter. Then I call it “mousse.” Shh. Do not tell my kids tofu isn’t meant to be awesome.
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Diet Coke – If it was the full fat version, dispensed from a Unicorn.
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@SingleParentDad, penis or teats?
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
you made this up. your penis couldn’t possibly get more awesome.
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@hello haha narf, then why do all the girls at the mall keep running away and screaming when I show it to them?
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Dr Phil – wearing a shock collar. I know he isn’t awesome, but I’d watch his show every damn day if he wore a shock collar!
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@Carolyn, that would definitely make his show more awesome, it’s true.
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
I think Will Smith DOES have a robotic arm that shoots lasers, actually.
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@Miss Britt, I guess he’s reached his full awesomeness potential, then.
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
Kevin Spacey — living next door
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@Robin, that’s only awesome for you, not for the rest of us!
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Telekinetic ceiling fans implies that the ceiling fans are sentient. Is that awesome or disturbing?
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@Johnny, that bothered me, too.
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Twitter: ellemmes
, August 21st, 2009: 7:21 PM
@Johnny, Disturbing – I have one over my bed.
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@Johnny, it’s only disturbing if they watch while you masturbate.
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Nothing… And I repeat NOTHING can possibly make Will Smith awesome in any way. Even with a robotic arm that shoots lasers he’d still be a douche.
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@SiteInsights, blasphemy!
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@SiteInsights, the Fresh Prince is very awesome, thankyouveddymuch.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
Money – would be a lot more awesome in my bank account.
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@Finn, a dollar?
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lolipops — pussy flavored. It’s all I could come up with.
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Twitter: msmegan
, August 21st, 2009: 9:54 AM
@Jared, Um, wow, really?
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
, August 21st, 2009: 10:10 AM
@Jared,
don’t you mean COTTON CANDY flavored?
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Unicorns are gay.
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@Grant, gay as in AWESOME! And fabulous.
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i thought will smith DID have a robotic arm that shot lasers
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@Crys, well, it was a national secret, but yes, he does.
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snort. Dude, if dogs knew the entirety of Spaceballs by heart there’d be a lot of dead dogs.
Top Chef including a death match though? FUCKING GENIUS.
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@sweetney, so wait, you’re not a fan of Spaceballs?! It’s genius!
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@Avitable, dude, anything mel brooks does is made of awesome (well, okay, Robin Hood: Men In Tights? not so much. But old skool MB? = WIN)… i’m just imagining every dog on the planet incessantly repeating: “May the Schwartz be with you.” and, you know, that’s when the gunfire begins.
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George Clooney – in my bed. Naked.
Cars – able to fly. Also, cars – equipped with homing missles to blow up assfaces who can’t drive.
Schools – handing out bottles of wine on the first day to the parents.
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@Sybil Law, you mean George Clooney isn’t already locked in your house by now?
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Twitter: AngellaD
says:
I’m supposed to be working and my husband had to ask me why I’m sitting here laughing. Here’s mine:
Twitter would be awesomer if it served up cocktails.
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@Angella, I’m obviously tired because I misread that as “if it served up crocodiles” and I was like “Hell yeah, she’s as weird as I am!”
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Twitter: AngellaD
, August 24th, 2009: 9:56 PM
@Avitable, Honestly? I’m even weirder. You really have no idea.
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@Angella, that is outstanding!
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New reader. This is awesome, you are pretty awesome, too- albeit a little fucking scary.
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@Christy, scary with a side of awesome is what I like.
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ooh LOOOOVE Tim Gunn and Top Chef!
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@christie, I love Top Chef. I don’t really have an opinion on Tim Gunn.
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this day? more awesomer b/c i read this
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@mommymae, I aim to please.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
my checking account — 6 additional zeros.
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@muskrat, I think you’d probably want a real number in front of those six zeroes first!
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I couldn’t think of a good comment, however I saw this:
http://ugliesttattoos.com/2009/08/21/funny-tattoos-is-taz-giving-me-the-finger/
And I thought of this post.
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@Lynda, hah – that’s the best tattoo ever!
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Vibrator….runs completely on wireless internet
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@Courtney, so you could check your email if you get bored?
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Twitter: ellemmes
says:
Trees – if they really did grow money and I had a whole forest in my backyard.
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@floating princess, they have them here in Florida!
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I just don’t get how the iPhone would be made better by being made from chocolate. It would melt. Doesn’t make sense. And diamonds? Only if they weren’t blood diamonds dude.
And how would your dick be better by finding the Ark of the Covenant?
I’m so confused.
I need a drink.
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@Redneck Mommy, you must be too blond for this.
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This post is awarded the “Double Disco Ball” which, as you know, is my most coveted award.
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@Hilly, it’s like I was channeling you!
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Twitter: mooshinindy
says:
I think #7 could actually be improved by #8′s improvement.
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@moosh in indy., it already does!
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Angel so completely in love with me that he completely forgets he even *knew* a Buffy.
Or, Angel, Bollywood style.
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@Faiqa, Tariq is totally Angel, Bollywood style.
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
William Shatner defending OJ Simpson as Denny Crane.
That? Would be full of awesome.
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@Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, you’re right about that. Especially if Alan Shore was there too.
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