World Leaders Review Obama’s Performance

From CNN:

Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro criticized President Obama for expanding the war effort in Afghanistan, but Castro also mildly praised Obama’s domestic initiatives, such as health care reform.

In an essay published Tuesday in Cuba’s state-run newspaper, Granma, Castro said drawing American troops away from Iraq to fight the Taliban in Afghanistan is a mistake, saying the Taliban in Afghanistan “sank the Soviet Union.”

Still, Castro said he was astonished by U.S. news reports of declining popularity for Obama. Castro blamed “traditional [U.S.] racism” for dampening reform efforts, including health care revisions.

I think that CNN really dropped the ball with this article. They should have polled other world leaders, in power or out, alive or dead, to get additional input into President Obama’s performance.

Where they fail, I shall step in. I doggedly pursued these leaders for a quick soundbite weighing in on how they thought Obama was doing so far:

Imelda Marcos (wife of former Philippines dictator Ferdinand Marcos): “When will he deal with the shoe shortage?”

Mikhail Gorbachev (former leader of the Communist Party in the former Soviet Union): “It only took me four months to realize that fixing our Great economy would be impossible without reforming our political and social structure. Why has Comrade Obama not realized this yet? He must implement a socialist regime and quash all those would speak out against him!”

Eva Peron (wife of former President of Argentina): “Don’t cry for Obama, Democrats of America.”

Kim Jong-il (former leader of North Korea): “Fuck him! Where my sequel to Dark Knight? I shoot Christopher Nolan in face if he not hurry up!”

Adolf Hitler (former leader of the Nazi Party): “If his opponents are correct and he’s actually moving the nation to a socialist country, he’s doing a poor job, even for a half-Negro man. I’m sorry, I should be optimistic. Half-white.”

Alvaro Uribe (current President of Colombia): “Sniiiffffffffffffffffffffff . . . Sorry, what?”

Nicolas Sarkozy (current President of France): “For moi, as long as he remains strong in the face of opposi-EEEEEK! A mouse! Run away! Retreat!”

Manny Mori (current President of Micronesia): “Wait, what? You actually want my opinion on something? You know I’m from Micronesia, right? Like, nobody’s ever asked my opinion about anything! I’m so excited! So, who’s this Obama dude?”

Nelson Mandela (former President of South Africa): “My nigga is kicking all types of ass! Awwww yeah.”

Moritz Leuenberger (current Federal Council Member of Switzerland): “I’d rather stay out of it.”

Margaret Thatcher (former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom): “He thinks he’s hot shit because he’s the first black President for the US? I was the first woman Prime Minister and I did it thirty years earlier. I think he’s a bit of a pussy. I much prefer Reagan – he was a pistol in the sack. Pip pip.”


In other Avita-news, the lovely Diana turns a year older today – go wish her a happy birthday!

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47 Responses to World Leaders Review Obama’s Performance

  1. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Ah, an Imelda Marcos shoe joke.

    This is like one of those episodes of “I Love the 80′s” that I dig so much. ;)

    PS – Isn’t Kim Jong-il still the leader of North Korea? Did my death ray actually work?

    Reply

    @B.E. Earl, I know. Takes you back, doesn’t it? And I heard that Kim Jong-Il picked his son as his successor.

    Reply

  2. muskrat
    Twitter:
    says:

    Ronnie was a good lay.

    Reply

    @muskrat, not compared to Carter! He loved to get fucked!

    Reply

  3. Faiqa
    Twitter:
    says:

    Could we NOT bring up that Castro approves of the health plan. KThanks.

    Reply

    @Faiqa, aw, but Castro’s a cuddly widdle former dictator!

    Reply

  4. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    It’s amazing just how much bigotry you managed to work into one post.

    Reply

    @Miss Britt, it takes skill to hone stereotypes like I’ve done.

    Reply

  5. Sybil Law says:

    Hahaha!
    I kept thinking one was my favorite, and then I’d read the next and totally laugh…
    Now I have to Google Micronesia.

    Reply

    @Sybil Law, I bet Micronesia has never been Googled before.

    Reply

  6. Karen
    Twitter:
    says:

    Doing the polite Canadian thing and commenting here. So as I was saying… hey, you forgot Canada.

    Reply

    @Karen, well, I figured Obama’s American already, and Canada’s basically the US, so there’s no need to get a quote.

    Reply

    @Avitable, and there you have it… the predictable American reply. Tsk. I’m going to stop being so polite soon :)

    Reply

    @Karen, but you didn’t say “eh” – how can you keep up those stereotypes otherwise?

    Reply

  7. avatgardener says:

    Past potentates and powerful political people proffer performance points pertaining to President’s policies.

    Reply

    @avatgardener, this one was the most coherent one yet!

    Reply

    @Avitable, I work with what you give me. (jab, wink)

    Reply

  8. Hilly says:

    I love Eva Peron.
    And tap shoes.
    And jelly beans.

    Reply

    @Hilly, jelly tap bean shoes!

    Reply

  9. Grant says:

    I miss the good old days when we Americans didn’t realize there was anything outside of the US except places to deliver our bombs.

    Reply

    @Grant, especially back in dubya dubya two.

    Reply

  10. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    Did you know who Manny Mori was before this or did you have to look him up?

    Reply

    @Amanda, I totally had to look him up. I don’t think a PhD in political science would know who he is.

    Reply

  11. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    By Eva Peron you really mean Madonna, right?

    Reply

    @Robin, well, yeah.

    Reply

  12. Finn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Yes, thank god someone asked Castro’s opinion on Obama’s performance. Because he’s such a shining example.

    And damn right, Maggie. You go, girl.

    Reply

    @Finn, I know. Like anyone should care what a Communist relic of the Cold War cares about our current political state. It’s absurd that they would give that space online, honestly.

    Reply

  13. Carolyn says:

    That Margaret Thatcher. She’s so saucy!

    Reply

    @Carolyn, she’s quite a bird.

    Reply

  14. Ren says:

    Pip pip.

    Reply

    @Ren, cheerio!

    Reply

  15. ren stole my comment

    Reply

    @hello haha narf, he’s a fucker like that.

    Reply

  16. SiteInsights says:

    Dude… Seriously… Did you know Obama… Is black?

    I know right?

    Reply

    @SiteInsights, and he’s a Muslim terrorist who’s going to unveil his plan for ruining our economy! Oh noes!

    Reply

  17. Motley says:

    I had a snickerfit over France. I’m still giggling. Wait I think it’s stopping… No, no. Hitler brought it back again.

    Reply

    @Motley, the France one was a bit cliched, granted. The Hitler one was funny, thanks to my ability to steal material. (thanks, Sarah Silverman!)

    Reply

  18. Renee says:

    My previous favorite, “Comrade Obama! Fidel, careful or we are going to end up to his right,” from Hugo Chavez, has now been beaten by Hitler. Never saw that coming.

    Reply

    @Renee, you didn’t see it coming that Hitler would be a racist? :D

    Reply

  19. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    Are you implying that Uribe has a cold?!????!??!?!

    Reply

    @Poppy, yup!

    Reply

  20. Clayton says:

    Honestly, Castro is just upset because he predicted we wouldn’t elect Obama for the same reason of our racist past. At least that’s what I read in the Granma.

    Reply

    @Clayton, you totally did read the Granma, didn’t you? Dude.

    Reply

  21. Bahahaha, Manny, Nelson, and Margaret are my faves. “Awwww yeah!” lmao

    Reply

    @Elizabeth Kaylene, heh. Glad you liked them.

    Reply

  22. What about Pol Pot? You do a living/dead former leader interview session and leave Pol Pot out? You Cambodian-hating Khmer Rouge-prejudiced motherfucker. Jeez.

    I actually just wanted an excuse to type “motherfucker.”

    Reply

    @Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, I thought the Khmer Rouge was a type of makeup.

    Reply

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