10 Things That Are Funnier Than The Bill Engvall Show:
- Rotting whale carcass
- Colonoscopy
- Underwear with skidmarks
- Funeral
- Paper cuts rubbed with salt
- 9/11
- Grandparent with Alzheimer’s
- Ninjas
- Bruised tailbone
- A spider bite on your cheek that grows bigger and bigger until it bursts one day with thousands of little spider babies
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My rules of blogging
Oh em gee… I just wasted 2 minutes and 6 seconds of my life. Again.
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@OHmommy, you mean you actually watched the video? Yikes!
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
The whale scene in the reno 911 movie was pretty hilarious
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@Amanda, yes, but the whale carcass alone wasn’t sufficient for it to be funny.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Also I’m not watching that clip, I refuse to watch anything that has anyone from blue collar comedy in it.
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@Amanda, Ron White is kind of funny, though.
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I knew I avoided watching that show for a reason. How about adding the following to your list?
Hemorrhoids
Vaginal warts
Earwigs
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@Employee No. 3699, well, earwigs are kind of funny. Just say the word out loud.
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Twitter: laurenacarlton
says:
Also, add 1. EVERYTHING, 2. Bot fly parasite.
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@Lauren, well, there are a few shows that are less funny, so I wouldn’t want to say “Everything”.
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
Dane Cook?!?
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Twitter: Bellaventa
, September 5th, 2009: 8:00 AM
@Dave2, but Dane Cook isn’t funny. Oh, wait….
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@Dave2, no, actually. Dane Cook is one person who is NOT funnier than The Bill Engvall Show. Carlos Mencia also makes that list.
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11. Dryer Lint
12. Inflation
13. Swine Flu
14. Toxic Shock Syndrome
15. Toenail Clippings
16. Gymnastics
17. Ringworm
18. Exxon Valdez
19. Theory of Relativity
20. Hiroshima
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@Janna, those are excellent additions.
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ugh…
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@Zach, yes, exactly.
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Twitter: maria0305
says:
Oh, ew.
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@Maria, isn’t it horrible? Yet quality TV gets canceled.
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I think it’s safe to say that just about ANYTHING is funnier than that show.
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@Badass Geek, that would be a good assumption.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Hey. That’s the woman from “So… I Married An Axe Murderer.”
“Harriet, sweet Harri-ette…harbinger of haggis…” I loved that movie.
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@Faiqa, me too. Such a cool movie.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Wow, that’s really saying something. Ninjas are NOT funny. Well, ok, sometimes they are.
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@Poppy, ninjas are only funny when they decide to be funny and then they flip out and are hilarious. And deadly.
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
Even “According to Jim” is funnier than that show.
Even Tyler Perry … well, let’s not get carried away.
Anyway, pretty much any sitcom ever made is funnier than the Bill Engvall Show.
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@Jay, yeah, “House of Payne” might be less funny.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
His timing is allllll off. Even if those lines were funny, he delays too long to give his zings.
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@Poppy, he’s Southern. That’s what they do!
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I know that you’ve never watched a single episode. so it’s not fair for you to be so harsh. Until you finally have, hush up. It’s much funnier than you’d expect.
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@Clown, sorry – I know it’s your favorite show.
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I was gonna write, “Who the fuck is Bill Engvall?” – and then I watched your clip.
You fucker!
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@Sybil Law, pretty bad, eh?
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Ninjas are legitimately funny, so for once they don’t belong on your list. And I wish TV producers would finally learn that being a successful stand-up comedian does not mean you can carry a TV show.
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@Grant, is he a successful stand up comedian?
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Don’t forget root canals- they’re funnier than that show. And being attacked by rabid dogs…
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@christie, unless one of those rabid dogs is Triumph, then that’s funnier.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
i’ve never watched the show and don’t plan to watch that clip, but i will totally admit to buying a ticket to the original blue comedy tour that came to one of the fanciest theaters in town. and i peed in their velvet seat due to my doubled over laughter. (although that pee was at ron white…it was the first time i had heard him talk about getting in the bar fight and being “thrown into pub-lic.”)
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@hello haha narf, Ron White is the only funny one. I like him.
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1 thing NOT funnier than The Bill Engvall show:
His stand-up routine.
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@Jennifer, ouch! I haven’t seen it.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
Gee, I popped over here to see how you were going to fit EVERYTHING in one blog post.
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@Finn, that’s why I had to limit it to 10.
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AIDS. You missed off AIDS.
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@SingleParentDad, that one was #11.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
I used to have a bit of a crush on Nancy Travis. Sigh.
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@B.E. Earl, me too!
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Twitter: Zakary
says:
That show has no business on TV. Who thinks that is funny? My 8 year old could write a funnier script than that.
And could #10 really happen? We have a lot of spiders here.
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@Zak, maybe – I don’t know. Better be careful!
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you forgot : being stabbed in the eye with an ice pick…. omg that was horrible… and what the hell was he WEARING??? is he like, a used car salesman circa 1976???
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@Potty Mouth Mommy, that’s how blue collar comedian dads dress, apparently.
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Twitter: lceel
says:
11. Avitable
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@lceel, well, duh.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Agreed.
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@muskrat, good to see that we can arrive at a consensus.
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I hate that fucking show, and I’ve never even seen it. I don’t even want to watch the video you posted, in fear that it might actually be a clip from the show. Anything is funnier than it, and I thank you for this post.
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Made me look! I’m so gullible.
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