As you've probably heard, Representative Joe Wilson made an ass of himself by yelling "You lie!" as President Obama spoke about health care to a nationally televised joint session of Congress. His completely unprofessional immature outburst has embarrassed the Republicans greatly, causing many of them to denounce Wilson's actions publicly. The more publicity-savvy Republicans, however, have found a way to capitalize on Wilson's poor behavior by hiring him out for a variety of venues:

• McDonald's has hired him as a night manager where he directs the employees with a hearty "You. Fry!"
• A busy New York Deli hired him to transmit orders from the counter to the butcher, and you can hear his enthusiastic "Two rye!" over the crowd very easily.
• Terminix and Orkin are sharing Wilson to assist with their pest extermination efforts, as they've found his "Shoo fly!" to be particularly effective.
• Wilson also teaches a basic journalism course at Kent State School of Journalism, although his curriculum tends to focus more heavily on "Who! Why?" and less on "What? How? When?" and "Where?"
• A small province in China has pooled its resources to invite Wilson back to instruct their students in math after his aggressive "Chu. Pi!" worked such wonders.
• As an early warning system for pinkeye in a school district in South Dakota, Wilson's grating "Poo eye!" has proven to have reduced outbreaks by 25%.
• Wilson has had amazing luck in teaching canines how to speak English using a very simple "Woof! Hi!" pattern repetition.
• A small Aryan group in his home state of South Carolina has hired Wilson to speak at rallies, expecting only a simple "Jew die!" that will rally their organization.
• A New Zealand slaughterhouse is contracting for his services in their sheep harvesting, as his "Ewe! Die!" is cheaper and more efficient than the sluicing machine.
• The Men's Wearhouse has retained him as a salesperson once he demonstrated how many sales he received with his simple "New tie!" technique.

And today's obnoxious Halloween tidbit:

Tickets for this year's Halloween party are now available for sale! Quantities are limited, but if you're planning on attending on October 24th, go over to the Halloween site to buy your admission ticket now!

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