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If Avitable loses his beard and nobody’s there, is he still Avitable?

I started growing facial hair when I was 13 years old. By 14, I was able to grow a passable beard that my parents detested. When I left for college at 17, I grew a goatee and for the last 15 years, my face has been covered in a beard or a goatee.

Three years ago, I looked like this:

Picture 17

In February 2007, I got a membership at a barbershop. Every week, I go in for a shave and a haircut. And sometimes eyebrow, forehead, cheek, ear, and nose waxing. It kept me from looking like a homeless psycho on the run from the law.

And each week, when I go into the barber, I usually look like this:


And when I’m done, I look like this (or some bearded variation):



But this week, when I left, I looked like this (picture behind the fold):



For the first time in 15 years, my chin and upper lip are naked and seeing the light of day.

I want my beard back.

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185 Replies to “If Avitable loses his beard and nobody’s there, is he still Avitable?”

  1. Audrey at Barking Mad

    I have never called a man pretty before…but I’m going to now. It’s like it took 20 years off! I’m just gobsmacked at the difference!

    I reminds me of the time my step dad shaved his off. My mom started dating him when I was three and he had a full beard and mustache then. When I was 17 and came home pretty late one night from a date, I walked into the kitchen and my mom was standing there making out with this dude. I thought she was hooking up with some random dude and I ended up screaming and throwing a can opener at them. Turns out it was just my step dad and I ended up being grounded for two weeks.

    And I was right, you’re tweet from earlier today and mine, whilst both something we hadn’t done in a long time and both kinda scary, are worlds apart. All I did was pee on a plastic stick and you completely changed how you look.

  2. B.E. Earl

    I thought your wife was your beard. Wait…you’re not gay? 😉

    I’ve had a special relationship with my facial hair going on 20 years now. I’ve gone about two months in that time period without anything above my top lip but my nose. My favorite look was the long mutton chop sideburns and long goatee, but it was too hard to keep up. I’ve been rocking the full beard for about 3 years straight now. It’s easy and Gia likes it. In fact, she hates it when I even trim my beard.

    Wanna know anything about my pubic hair? 🙂

  3. Ashleigh

    I think you need to grow the beard out again. Lumberjack beards are sexy.
    You look good either way, and I can see the weight loss just from looking at your face.
    Also, what the hell is behind you in those last two pictures?!

  4. ju

    oh my goodness, you are so cute. my vagina just quivered. just a little, and certainly no offense to your awesome wife… uh, or my husband, who I love more than anything… fuck. my vagina quivered.



  5. Carolyn

    Wow, that makes you look really young. If that’s the look you’re going for, keep it off. From your ‘before’ barber pic, I’d say you should have some semblance of your beard in about 3.5 days, so don’t fret if you decide to grow it again.

    It’s kind of like being naked after wearing clothes all this time, huh? My stepdad wears a mustache and I think if he shaved it, I wouldn’t be able to look him in the face…without blushing, anyway.

  6. fuzzarelly

    Who the fuck gets up this early to comment on a blog? Reckon some people just got to bed late. Thought I’d be among the first ten, but looks as though you have struck a nerve with your readers with this post.

    You do look very young without the beard and stuff, but still, I rather prefer you as the week before. (Not that it matters what I think, it is your face.) What got into you?

  7. Special K

    Alright my first serious comment here, in like, ever but day-am boy, you are lookin’ mighty purty! It’s funny how some people can lose weight/change hair/shave and look older and some younger, you definitely look younger. It all agrees with you.

  8. Dawn

    Awwwww, you have such a baby face! 🙂

    My husband, if he went without shaving for a day, would get the scruffy look that I loved. So, I was finally able to convince him to grow a goatee. I love it! Every month or so he threatens to shave it off. THREATENS! And it IS a threat because I love that damn goatee.

    Fact is, I can’t follow him to the bathroom every time (really, I can’t) so he just might follow up on his threat and do it one day. Maybe I actually CAN follow him into the bathroom every time, but I’ll need nose plugs. Y’know…

  9. Hilly

    I’m still giggling about the whole lips freakout I had yesterday, hahaha!

    I think you look best with the goatee fo sho but you don’t look terrible now. You definitely look cleaner and more refined. Also? Wow, seeing your weight loss in pictures is amazing…because I see you all of the time, it isn’t as pronounced as it is looking at these pics!

  10. Nenette

    Whoa, the dude in the last picture is NOT the same as the dude in the first! You look so different, and yes, you look awesome! Much younger. Less psycho. 😉 Still, I tend to like the scruffy look, so the first pic isn’t so bad.

    Why the change?

      • Nenette

        @Avitable, and the scruff is probably lower maintenance than the hair-free look too, eh? You’d have to close-shave everyday, endure in-grown facial hair, get your hair cut every 4 weeks, etc.
        That’s why I keep my hair long. I’m too lazy (and *thrifty*) to see my hair stylist. Last time I saw her was May 2008.

  11. hello haha narf

    while you look great (with a face like yours, how couldn’t you?), but i’m a creature of habit who isn’t fond of change. so gimme back the goatee. or beard. i like my avitable hairy!

    also? are those halloween decorations that i see in the background? sofa king excited!!!!

  12. Sincerely, Jenni

    My husband grows a goatee or beard in the winter, and then is clean shaven the rest of the year, so I don’t get quite as shocked in the changes back and forth. But holy hell, you look totally different. Probably because I’ve never seen you without the facial hair.

    It looks nice. It’s slimming, and it does make you look younger. What does your wife think of it?

  13. Poppy

    When I saw the thumbnail on flicker I actually said out loud, “who the hell is THIS guy? … *click* … Oh.”

    You can rock either look but you look way more serious and menacing with the goatee.

    I’m thinking of dyeing my hair for the party, we’ll see.

  14. Grant

    You’re beginning to look like Subway’s Jared, only not that thin (yet).

    I lost the beard some years ago because it’s more hassle to keep it neat than it is to just shave it all off.

    BTW, I noticed that your gmail online picture thingy looks like the earlier unshorn one, where you look like a fat terrorist.

  15. Mindy

    You look so much younger without all the facial hair. I am sure you also feel naked too. At least that is what my man says when he shaves his goatee off only to regrow it a few days later:)
    I think a goatee and mustache makes you look more distinguished and refined but that is only my opinion.

  16. Jen

    You look so young! I think it’s a good look but I imagine it would take some getting used to. I suppose it’s not easy to walk into a barber shop looking like a full grown man and walk out looking like a 15 year old.

  17. lydia

    Dude, you look great! I don’t think you look 12 like some have suggested but you do look a lot younger. Whodda thunk it? I am a lover of facial hair, though, so I vote for the goatee.

  18. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    You already know I’m retarded so uh, on your stats thing, when it shows some creeper was on your blog for an hour just staring at your pictures, it’s because I forgot that I never actually commented. I just thought about what comment I would put.


    You be hott Adamdizzle. I gasped out loud when I saw you.

  19. pixielation

    I’m a new reader, but it’s nice to put a face to the words (yeah, I know there are a whole bunch of them down the side, but those are slightly mad!)

    With the beard you look like a friend of mine, and without it you look like a moviestar. I just wish I could remember who!

  20. Stone Fox

    i know what i hate and i don’t hate that. you look pretty good. shiny, yes, but good. please, for god’s sake now that you are looking all hot, don’t grow your hair out and gel it all spikey like the kids do. also, please do not get one of those ‘Caesar’ cuts where your “bangs” are longer than the rest of your hair and spiked up.

    and i’m going to hazard a guess and say those are NOT halloween decorations in the background, that is your actual year-round home decor.

  21. Lynn (Walking With Scissors)

    Would you tell me to go fuck myself if I told you how utterly young and adorable you look? Although, really, I don’t see how “go fuck yourself” is even an insult. Don’t people do that for fun? If you tell me to “go be abstinent,” then I may have a problem. But through it all, you’d still be cute as a baby’s butt. Or is that smooth? Well, you’re both. Wait. What?

  22. Mari

    Well, will you just look at that baby face! Quite the change. And I am opposed to change. I imagine that the wife will be the final vote – but please, please bring my Avitable back! (cause, dude, I am *opposed* to change!) 😀

  23. Tug

    I’m with NYCWD, you look about 12! All you need now is a sex change operation and you will totally be the person whose music & TV choices you have. 😉

    Seriously though, I think it looks really good! (If you decide to have a drink when you go out anywhere, make sure you have ID for when you get carded.)

  24. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy

    My opinion probably won’t count, as I openly despise facial hair. But I think it looks nice without it.You have a nice face, Adam Avitable. That said, I’m always suspicious of people with facial hair. I feel like they’re trying to hide things from me. Like shit in their beards or a fucked up chin, but you weren’t hiding anything.

  25. Rachel

    Personally….I prefer facial hair and you look great with the goatee! You also look great without it. It appears that you can rock the world however you want. Also, great job on the weight loss. The differences are incredible. Good for you 🙂

  26. MB

    WOW! You look like a totally different person without the facial hair. Looks like you took a few years off with the hair too. I love the look of a beard but don’t like it on my guy ’cause it’s too scratchy on my delicate skin.

    You won’t have to miss it for long, you can always grow it back if you want to.

  27. Chibi Jeebs

    You’re purdy either way, but I prefer the facial hair.

    My other half (who has also had some form of facial hair since he hit puberty) recently “surprised” me by shaving his face clean. Thank god he’s a hairy bastard and it grew back within a week and a half.

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