I started growing facial hair when I was 13 years old. By 14, I was able to grow a passable beard that my parents detested. When I left for college at 17, I grew a goatee and for the last 15 years, my face has been covered in a beard or a goatee.
Three years ago, I looked like this:
In February 2007, I got a membership at a barbershop. Every week, I go in for a shave and a haircut. And sometimes eyebrow, forehead, cheek, ear, and nose waxing. It kept me from looking like a homeless psycho on the run from the law.
And each week, when I go into the barber, I usually look like this:
And when I’m done, I look like this (or some bearded variation):
But this week, when I left, I looked like this (picture behind the fold):
For the first time in 15 years, my chin and upper lip are naked and seeing the light of day.
I want my beard back.
Enjoy this post? Try these:The Grooming of Avitable
I could . . .
My Interview with Osama bin Laden
Who is this man and what has he done with Adam?
Honestly, between the weight loss and hair loss…You look great!
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@Little Miss Sunshine State, thank you – am I going to see you at the party this year?
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omg. you look so freaking different!
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@bluepaintred, yeah. I’m used to it now, but I need my beard back.
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The most important question here is, what does your woman think?
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Twitter: an_bhean
, September 23rd, 2009: 10:13 PM
@adena, that is exactly the right question. Seriously.
And Adam? That picture of beardless-you is kind of freaking me out. I’ve never seen that guy before. And he’s smiling sweetly, too, and not looking so suspicious doing it. What’s up with that?
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@Robin, I hadn’t seen that guy before either! It’s weird.
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@adena, she didn’t see it until yesterday and she was not thrilled.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
1. You look handsome! There’s no need to grow it back.
2. You’re some sort of gorilla/man hybrid, no? You’ll have it back in a week
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@Amanda, aw, thank you. I do think the beard gives me more gravitas, though.
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If you’ve got any Italian in you, you’ll have 5:00 shadow by now.
Man, now you look like even more of a baby and am ashamed of the thoughts I have. Damn you.
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@Kris, it’s growing back already!
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
That Avitable is so hot right now.
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@Dave2, oh, you smooth talker, you always say that.
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Aw.
Look at how pretty you are.
I love it.
Now, grow your hair about an inch longer, keep the chin scruff off and you’ll be PERFECT.
Not that you aren’t already.
You’ll just be more perfect.
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@Redneck Mommy, sorry, darlin’. I’m growing it back.
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Wow, you kind of have an innocent look about you. If you ever decide to rob a bank, shave the beard for the jury.
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@Lynda, good thinking!
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Dude.
You look 12.
Seriously.
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@NYCWD, I kind of thought the same thing, but I am glad you are the one who said it.
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@NYCWD, now I can finally achieve my dream of picking up girls at the local Catholic high school!
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Twitter: ellemmes
says:
I think you look great! It gives your smile a whole different look
Every time hub shaves his beard it freaks me out because he looks so young without it, and he never tells me before he does it. He’s a stealth shaver.
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Twitter: an_bhean
, September 23rd, 2009: 10:14 PM
@floating princess, I have one of those stealth shavers too. He just waltzes in, grinning like the Cheshire cat…
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@floating princess, I think I’ll just go back to a beard for the next 15 years.
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WOW..
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@chrissi, I know, right?
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Twitter: Barking_Mad
says:
I have never called a man pretty before…but I’m going to now. It’s like it took 20 years off! I’m just gobsmacked at the difference!
I reminds me of the time my step dad shaved his off. My mom started dating him when I was three and he had a full beard and mustache then. When I was 17 and came home pretty late one night from a date, I walked into the kitchen and my mom was standing there making out with this dude. I thought she was hooking up with some random dude and I ended up screaming and throwing a can opener at them. Turns out it was just my step dad and I ended up being grounded for two weeks.
And I was right, you’re tweet from earlier today and mine, whilst both something we hadn’t done in a long time and both kinda scary, are worlds apart. All I did was pee on a plastic stick and you completely changed how you look.
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Twitter: Barking_Mad
, September 23rd, 2009: 12:27 AM
@Audrey at Barking Mad, fuck! I suppose it would help if I hadn’t left out half the story.
When I walked in from my date, my mom was standing there making out with what I thought was some random dude. It wasn’t. My step dad had finally shaved off his mustache and beard.
And no, I didn’t manage to hurt anyone with the can opener but I did leave a dent in the fridge.
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@Audrey at Barking Mad, well, I peed on a plastic stick, too, but that was just for fun.
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You look angelic! You are no longer conservative- you are all about change. We got to see a preview of your Halloween party decorations in the background.
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@Valerie, yeah, those are unfinished, so don’t judge them!
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
I thought your wife was your beard. Wait…you’re not gay?
I’ve had a special relationship with my facial hair going on 20 years now. I’ve gone about two months in that time period without anything above my top lip but my nose. My favorite look was the long mutton chop sideburns and long goatee, but it was too hard to keep up. I’ve been rocking the full beard for about 3 years straight now. It’s easy and Gia likes it. In fact, she hates it when I even trim my beard.
Wanna know anything about my pubic hair?
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@B.E. Earl, that’s why I go to a barber every week and let them maintain the beard. This shaven look will last two weeks tops. And I know you shave your pubes into the letter “G”. Everyone knows it.
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YOWZA. That’s all I can say without being crass and dirty. And I’m a good girl so this is quite difficult for me.
I love it! I really do!
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@Mocha, but which do you prefer? Beard or no beard?
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@Avitable, FINE.
I like the beard. Now grow it back with a quickness.
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oh wow… you look so different – but I like it!
BTW – the weight loss looks like you are doing great! It’s hard work!
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@Fantastagirl, thank you.
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Twitter: tlkaply
says:
I think you look shiny. And it’s freaking me out.
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@Tracy Lynn, yeah, the shininess was due to the lotions and oils the barber rubbed on so my chin didn’t get irritated.
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Omg!!!! You look terrific!!!
Oh shit.
Are you trying to fool the surveillance cams?
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@Kim, yup. The hot pink wig is next.
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Perfectly cherubic! With just a hint of mischievous glee. Well done!
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@New Age Bitch, but I don’t want to be cherubic!
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@Avitable, Oh, that was “cherubic” as in “undeniably hot”!
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I personally prefer the first picture.
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@Nobody™, yeah, me too. The Unibomber look is trendy right now.
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Looking gooooooood!
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@DutchBitch, aww, thanks.
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Twitter: ashleighlynne
says:
I think you need to grow the beard out again. Lumberjack beards are sexy.
You look good either way, and I can see the weight loss just from looking at your face.
Also, what the hell is behind you in those last two pictures?!
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@Ashleigh, those are some of the Halloween decorations we’re working on for the party. Are you coming? And the beard is definitely coming back.
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
I can’t believe how different you look! That’s amazing. And in a positive way too. You look soooo young without the beard.
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Twitter: GrandeMocha
, September 23rd, 2009: 10:27 AM
@Jay, Young, that what I though too!
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@Jay, thanks.
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I want to squeeze your cheeks
*kitchy kitchy goo*
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@DaDuck, dammit. Exactly what I was afraid of!
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So does the wife prefer bearded or clean shaven teen look?
My wife prefers me with a mustache.
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@Mik, she prefers the beard without a doubt.
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Dude. You look way different.
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@Sarah, dude. I know! It’s crazy.
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oh my goodness, you are so cute. my vagina just quivered. just a little, and certainly no offense to your awesome wife… uh, or my husband, who I love more than anything… fuck. my vagina quivered.
xo
b.
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@ju, so I’m guessing you prefer the beardless look, eh?
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Wow, that makes you look really young. If that’s the look you’re going for, keep it off. From your ‘before’ barber pic, I’d say you should have some semblance of your beard in about 3.5 days, so don’t fret if you decide to grow it again.
It’s kind of like being naked after wearing clothes all this time, huh? My stepdad wears a mustache and I think if he shaved it, I wouldn’t be able to look him in the face…without blushing, anyway.
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@Carolyn, I think I prefer looking older with some gravitas.
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You should change your name to Samson.
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@SingleParentDad, I have lost my magical powers, so it is apt.
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Wow you look great and so young!!
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@J from Ireland, I don’t know if young is the best thing.
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wow you look so young.
and kinda hot…
come here so i can dry hump your leg.
/pant
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@sudobeer, okay, but see if you can last longer than last time you dry humped me.
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@Avitable, hey, 10 seconds is pretty respectable, right?
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Who the fuck gets up this early to comment on a blog? Reckon some people just got to bed late. Thought I’d be among the first ten, but looks as though you have struck a nerve with your readers with this post.
You do look very young without the beard and stuff, but still, I rather prefer you as the week before. (Not that it matters what I think, it is your face.) What got into you?
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@fuzzarelly, just thought I’d try it. It will be back to the beard before too long.
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Alright my first serious comment here, in like, ever but day-am boy, you are lookin’ mighty purty! It’s funny how some people can lose weight/change hair/shave and look older and some younger, you definitely look younger. It all agrees with you.
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@Special K, thanks. It takes away my seriousness, though. Hm.
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Awwwww, you have such a baby face!
My husband, if he went without shaving for a day, would get the scruffy look that I loved. So, I was finally able to convince him to grow a goatee. I love it! Every month or so he threatens to shave it off. THREATENS! And it IS a threat because I love that damn goatee.
Fact is, I can’t follow him to the bathroom every time (really, I can’t) so he just might follow up on his threat and do it one day. Maybe I actually CAN follow him into the bathroom every time, but I’ll need nose plugs. Y’know…
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@Dawn, I don’t own a razor. I let my barber do it.
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So have you found out where the feds will be placing you in witness protection? Looks good.
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@Chris Livingston, not yet, but I requested the fake name of Tits McDicknuts.
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Holy crap, you look like a different person. I love it. I don’t like facial hair on people but you are one of the few that looks good both ways
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@rachel, I plan on growing it back, probably by the time I see you again!
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I’m still giggling about the whole lips freakout I had yesterday, hahaha!
I think you look best with the goatee fo sho but you don’t look terrible now. You definitely look cleaner and more refined. Also? Wow, seeing your weight loss in pictures is amazing…because I see you all of the time, it isn’t as pronounced as it is looking at these pics!
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@Hilly, yeah, it even shows for me when I look at it. The goatee might be the way to go.
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Twitter: bubblewench
says:
You look AMAZING…. I do like the look!
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@bubblewench, thanks!
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
The removal of the facial hair makes me realize that you have not aged in your face AT ALL since high school. AT ALL. Bastard.
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@Faiqa, I’m a natural ageless beauty, what can I say?
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Twitter: Kapgar
says:
I hate to say this, but you do look good without it. And that’s coming from a “totally secure in my heterosexuality” place.
So how much weight have you lost now?
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@kapgar, about 115 pounds now.
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Bristly beard banished. Babyface – - boing!!! Bravos ‘bound. Beautiful.
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@avatgardener, men aren’t supposed to be beautiful!
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Twitter: blondefabulous
says:
Dude! You look 10 years younger!!!
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@Blondefabulous, I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
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Dood. You without your facial hair?
Pedophile-licious.
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@Functionally ReTodded, I will NOT sit on your lap, godammit.
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Have you also discovered the fountain of youth?!
You look damn good!
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@Sybil Law, now if only the gray hairs would go away.
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Whoa, the dude in the last picture is NOT the same as the dude in the first! You look so different, and yes, you look awesome! Much younger. Less psycho.
Still, I tend to like the scruffy look, so the first pic isn’t so bad.
Why the change?
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@Nenette, I just thought I’d give it a shot. See what I thought. And I like the scruff better too.
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@Avitable, and the scruff is probably lower maintenance than the hair-free look too, eh? You’d have to close-shave everyday, endure in-grown facial hair, get your hair cut every 4 weeks, etc.
That’s why I keep my hair long. I’m too lazy (and *thrifty*) to see my hair stylist. Last time I saw her was May 2008.
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Twitter: mapsgirl
says:
Wow! The many faces of you! Not sure which I like best…all good, yet all so different.
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@mapsgirl, I’m glad I gave this a shot so at least I know I prefer the beard.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
while you look great (with a face like yours, how couldn’t you?), but i’m a creature of habit who isn’t fond of change. so gimme back the goatee. or beard. i like my avitable hairy!
also? are those halloween decorations that i see in the background? sofa king excited!!!!
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@hello haha narf, the hair will be back!
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
You look scrum-diddiy-umptious, bud bud.
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@Karen Sugarpants, you totally want to hump me, I know it.
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Twitter: karensugarpants
, September 27th, 2009: 12:34 PM
@Avitable, only if you stop masturbating on buses.
http://content.ytmnd.com/content/7/b/5/7b5876aeedfdc52bb440e1f0dd587b3e.gif
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
You look kinda gay but then so does my husband when he shaves off his beard. I used to hate beards.
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@Robin, this is why I’m going to get the beard back.
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So shiny.
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@always home and uncool, yeah, that was the worst part until the lotion and oil soaked in.
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Twitter: bobutler
says:
Your face is shiny!
And how does a barbershop membership work? I’ve never even heard of such a thing.
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@bo, I pay $75/month and get unlimited shaves, haircuts, and eyebrow waxing. They have cheaper memberships too. I don’t shave myself and go in every week.
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Wow, you look so different. The removal of the facial hair really makes you look younger!
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@Jules, I’m not quite sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
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My husband grows a goatee or beard in the winter, and then is clean shaven the rest of the year, so I don’t get quite as shocked in the changes back and forth. But holy hell, you look totally different. Probably because I’ve never seen you without the facial hair.
It looks nice. It’s slimming, and it does make you look younger. What does your wife think of it?
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@Sincerely, Jenni, she doesn’t like it. Neither do I!
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The weight you lost is amazing.
I like you with the facial hair better.
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@Jen, South Florida, me too. Sigh. It will be back soon.
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You look so handsome! I’m sure your wife thinks so too
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@christie, well, she does, but she much prefers the beard or goatee.
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Whoa, that’s a pretty striking difference. Just don’t get any crazy ideas and starting shaving off your eyebrows, too.
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@Johnny, no, I don’t think I’ll touch the eyebrows.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
When I saw the thumbnail on flicker I actually said out loud, “who the hell is THIS guy? … *click* … Oh.”
You can rock either look but you look way more serious and menacing with the goatee.
I’m thinking of dyeing my hair for the party, we’ll see.
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@Poppy, I do like serious and menacing.
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You. Look. AMAZING!!!!
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You’re beginning to look like Subway’s Jared, only not that thin (yet).
I lost the beard some years ago because it’s more hassle to keep it neat than it is to just shave it all off.
BTW, I noticed that your gmail online picture thingy looks like the earlier unshorn one, where you look like a fat terrorist.
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You look so much younger without all the facial hair. I am sure you also feel naked too. At least that is what my man says when he shaves his goatee off only to regrow it a few days later:)
I think a goatee and mustache makes you look more distinguished and refined but that is only my opinion.
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I think it’s very cute! That’s probably not the look you were going for, though.
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Twitter: perpstu
says:
You look fantastic! I must admit that I am a sucker for a goatee though. Grow it back!
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You look so young! I think it’s a good look but I imagine it would take some getting used to. I suppose it’s not easy to walk into a barber shop looking like a full grown man and walk out looking like a 15 year old.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
You look like you’re 12!
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I bet you do. You brave soul.
My wife said that she would divorce me in a heartbeat if I ever intentionally shaved off my goatee and sideburns.
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Twitter: HeadlessMom
says:
Wow! You look 20 lbs. lighter and 10 years younger. Being that I’m not-so-much a facial hair girl (eew, that totally came out wrong,) I think you look fantastic! Wait for a few days, you may end up liking it!
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Dude, you look great! I don’t think you look 12 like some have suggested but you do look a lot younger. Whodda thunk it? I am a lover of facial hair, though, so I vote for the goatee.
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Twitter: maria0305
says:
You look so friggin’ different! And younger. I like dudes with facial hair though, so I’d miss the goatee.
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Twitter: AngellaD
says:
Oh, WOW. What a change. My husband has a goatee and sometimes threatens to shave it off but I refuse to let him; I don’t him to look younger than me.
Looks great, Adam.
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
You already know I’m retarded so uh, on your stats thing, when it shows some creeper was on your blog for an hour just staring at your pictures, it’s because I forgot that I never actually commented. I just thought about what comment I would put.
ANYWAY.
You be hott Adamdizzle. I gasped out loud when I saw you.
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Dude. Make sure not to get sunburned on your lip.
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Woa! You look a lot younger without hair. Look at that baby face!
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Whoa you look all boyish and innocent.
That can’t be right.
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Twitter: fandpinlv
says:
Holy crap! Are you like 12 now or what? Why is it that when men take off facial hair, they get younger looking and when women take off facial hair, it’s just a matter of hygiene? Not fair.
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I’m a new reader, but it’s nice to put a face to the words (yeah, I know there are a whole bunch of them down the side, but those are slightly mad!)
With the beard you look like a friend of mine, and without it you look like a moviestar. I just wish I could remember who!
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Twitter: lceel
says:
Man, you have some SERIOUS eyebrows. Which I never really noticed before. Which is cool, because now you can do one of those “So easy” Geico commercials.
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You got purty lips for a boy.
Congrats on the weight and facial hair loss. You know, if you reversed the order of the pictures you’d have a more realistic progression.
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Handsome either way, but if you color your hair I’m out.
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Going out on a limb here since everyone seems to have the same opinion but…
I hate it.
Sorry. Gotta keep it real.
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Twitter: Zakary
says:
You do look really great!
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You look great,Adam. And YOUNG! Like jailbait young!
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Twitter: mrlady
says:
You look like much less of an asshole. You also don’t look exactly legal. This fucks up my fantasy life two-fold. Grow the fucker back.
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i know what i hate and i don’t hate that. you look pretty good. shiny, yes, but good. please, for god’s sake now that you are looking all hot, don’t grow your hair out and gel it all spikey like the kids do. also, please do not get one of those ‘Caesar’ cuts where your “bangs” are longer than the rest of your hair and spiked up.
and i’m going to hazard a guess and say those are NOT halloween decorations in the background, that is your actual year-round home decor.
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OMG….Audrey from Barking Mad sent me here.
You’re fucking hilarious. I’ll buy what you’re selling. Expect me to be a loyal reader from now on.
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Twitter: _scifidad_
says:
The horror… THE HORROR!
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Twitter: WWScissors
says:
Would you tell me to go fuck myself if I told you how utterly young and adorable you look? Although, really, I don’t see how “go fuck yourself” is even an insult. Don’t people do that for fun? If you tell me to “go be abstinent,” then I may have a problem. But through it all, you’d still be cute as a baby’s butt. Or is that smooth? Well, you’re both. Wait. What?
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I’ve never heard of a barbershop membership. I should check whether the barbershop in our small town does this. I would love it if my husband’s goatee was a crisp as yours was.
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Man, you look young. Not nearly old enough to need a nose and ear waxing.
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OMG AVITABLE HAS A LOWER FACE!
I thought it was a myth, I really did. I thought the beard and what not hide the fact that you had no lower face.
THIS IS FANTASTIC
bhahaha
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Well, will you just look at that baby face! Quite the change. And I am opposed to change. I imagine that the wife will be the final vote – but please, please bring my Avitable back! (cause, dude, I am *opposed* to change!)
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um. wow, you like you did when you were 12 and I was 9..not that I remember that year but I’m assuming you looked like this lol!!
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Not that you looked old with the facial hair but without it you do look younger. Is that good or bad? You be the judge. Handsome as ever though.
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I think it looks good! You do look younger. A lot younger. That said, it doesn’t look like YOU, and I miss the facial hair.
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You look great with trendy facial hair and the weight loss. And agreeing with what everyone else said you do look younger which is a good thing?
Cheers,
Anita
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I’m with NYCWD, you look about 12! All you need now is a sex change operation and you will totally be the person whose music & TV choices you have.
Seriously though, I think it looks really good! (If you decide to have a drink when you go out anywhere, make sure you have ID for when you get carded.)
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Twitter: thegoddesscher
says:
i want the goatee back. i make my husbband keep his furry.
i am also a fan of razorburn on the inside of my thighs…so its a completely selfish thing.
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My opinion probably won’t count, as I openly despise facial hair. But I think it looks nice without it.You have a nice face, Adam Avitable. That said, I’m always suspicious of people with facial hair. I feel like they’re trying to hide things from me. Like shit in their beards or a fucked up chin, but you weren’t hiding anything.
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Twitter: whyrustalkingme
says:
I’ll be honest, I miss the beard in the 3rd and 4th pics. I think shaved you look to young, the first pic? Grizzly Adams. Serious.
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I would not have recognized you… you look like an entirely different person!
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Damn. Now I *cant* send you a picture of my boobs cause you look like a STRANGER. Holy cow dude. Haught.
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Wow, you really look different! I have to admit I like the goatee. I bet you feel supremely weird! It’s not a bad look, I just like the other way.
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Twitter: alotofnothing
says:
Goodbye, Avitabeard. You will be missed for the 6 hours you’ll be gone.
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Personally….I prefer facial hair and you look great with the goatee! You also look great without it. It appears that you can rock the world however you want. Also, great job on the weight loss. The differences are incredible. Good for you
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The transformation pics are just mind bloggling… it’s like you used 4 different stunt doubles.
How will I know it’s really you when I come to visit next month?
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WOW! You look like a totally different person without the facial hair. Looks like you took a few years off with the hair too. I love the look of a beard but don’t like it on my guy ’cause it’s too scratchy on my delicate skin.
You won’t have to miss it for long, you can always grow it back if you want to.
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Not fair….I’m 33 and I still can’t grow a goatee or a beard. You may need to change the pics on the right so people will recognize you.
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Oh. Em. Gee.
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You look so different. My brain can’t handle it.
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You’re purdy either way, but I prefer the facial hair.
My other half (who has also had some form of facial hair since he hit puberty) recently “surprised” me by shaving his face clean. Thank god he’s a hairy bastard and it grew back within a week and a half.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
But, you’ll die, right? Like when Luke was about to remove Darth Vader’s mask?
Either that, or you’ll lose all your strength, like when that whore cut Samson’s hair.
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Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
You look completely different! Handsome, but different. I prefer beards, but you look good without one too. (:
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I think you look pretty dorky in that first beardless pic, but I attribute that to the smile more than anything else. Even so, I prefer the Goatee. I wonder why….
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You look adorable!
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You look way hotter.
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You look hotter.
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You look great – but I like the trimmed up beard better – either way you look way younger – you lucky bastard.
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