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What’s Canadian for Tranny?

Adam and Tanis

Today is my friend Tanis‘s 34th birthday. She’s a Canadian, but I don’t hold that against her. Over the last year, she and I have become good friends, and we have gotten to know each other pretty well. I think I “get” her and I know she “gets” me, and yet she keeps trusting me to send her packages that she can’t get shipped to her home in the middle of the ass-end of nowhere. She is a blonde, so I guess that’s her excuse.

In the course of our friendship, we’ve shared several secrets with each other. It’s a part of trusting someone, obviously. I’ve told her where the bodies are buried, and she’s told me about her years on the Tijuana donkey-fucking circuit. We’ve really built a circle of trust, which is why I was surprised by what I found Friday night.

I was just doing my typical Friday night tranny pornathon, which I do from 11:00 PM until midnight, when I came across this photo. It obviously shows that there is one huge secret that Tanis hadn’t shared with me yet:

Tanis_Tranny

See what I mean? Who knew she had such a tacky red rose tattoo? Happy Birthday, Tanis!

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97 Replies to “What’s Canadian for Tranny?”

  1. Kim

    JEEBUS TANIS !!! My retinas are fried…and really, you need to tell your tattoo guy that’s he’s frigging overcompensating. : )

    And Adam I’m so sorry. I hate you used up alot of your bandwith for this ho. Hee. ; )

  2. RebTurtle

    Holy crap, Adam! You can’t put up pictures like that in the internet!! I mean for fuck’s sake, her shoulder strap is down and one of your eyebrows is bigger than the other one. Don’t you ever worry what people will think about your judgment when you post stuff like this?!!

    The tattoo, however seems perfectly fine to me.

  3. Redneck Mommy

    OH MY GOD.

    I’m speechless.

    You fucker. I’m the ugliest damn transvestite EVER.

    And dude. When I get my own damn penis, you can bet your jiggly ass cheeks it’ll be longer than that wee thing.

    *runs off in horror*

    I’d tell you that I love you but I’m too busy checking to see if I actually look like that and examining my girl parts.

    Oh. And I’m going to FUCKING KILL YOU.

  4. Carolyn

    Tranny’s? Really? I didn’t picture you as the tranny type.

    I hope Tanis gets you back good.

    And does she tell you she ships stuff to you because Fed Ex can’t find her place? Hmm. I have stuff shipped to my American friends because I don’t want to pay duty. I think you’re getting duped, man.

  5. Moon HalloranLeady

    I’m impressed!!! Are those boobs real? ‘Cuz I’m TOTALLY turned on!!!!

    Oh wait. No balls. Ack. Totally ruined it for me. I like a girl with balls — and I was quite certain at least TANIS had balls.

    Oh well. Happy Fuckin’ B-Day anyhoo.

    lurves ya!
    Moon

    PS Yeah, the tacky rose tat sux balls — oh wait…I guess *that’s* where they went ::wink wink:: Love the belly ring tho’

  6. JD at I Do Things

    Geez, I’ve been afraid to come back here since I got “Avitaballed,” but I decide to put all that behind me (in the form of a lobotomy) and what do I find when I return? Someone with one of those awful French “white-tip” manicures. I fucking HATE those. They really make a girl look cheap.

  7. Well Read Hostess

    I’ve spent way too much time staring at that picture and what I want to know is:

    where are its balls? shouldn’t it have balls? Was it so cold out (in whatever the fuck) that they are all shriveled up and hoisted up into its butt?

    WHERE ARE THE BALLS??

  8. Gunfighter

    SO… there I was, surfing through Google images, looking for some ideas for my next tattoo. I am thinking about Martin Luther’s seal, the so-called Luther Rose when I see some sort of mutated… with a dick, no less, picture of my pal Tanis, the RedNeck Mommy herself.

    Oy.

  9. Tanahmera

    LORD. Excuse me while I attempt to get a grip. I’m Canadian eh/ it takes a while, we don’t “DO” trauma very well.
    OK! THIS was NOT in the Brochure. My eyes are no longer your friend you crazy woprechaun! That was hilarious and scary as Hell.

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