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The things I wish I could do

There are many things that I can do. I’m very good at those things, and I’m proud of my ability. But as is usually the case, I yearn to be able to do things that I’ll never do.

I wish I could draw. Like, really draw.

I wish I could dance, with rhythm, even.

I wish I could cook amazingly well.

I wish I could build things with my hands.

I wish I could play a musical instrument.

I wish I could sing. And not just sing, but sing as well as this guy:

What do you wish you could do?

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64 Replies to “The things I wish I could do”

  1. Angel Smith

    Hope you are feeling better, Adam.

    I wish I could sing and draw, too. Sing, mainly. I can cook pretty well and I don’t care if I dance well because I enjoy it so much. But what I really wish I could do, most of all, is kick anxiety and depression.

  2. OHmommy

    I wish. I wish. I really wish that I could get a job at a real place w/o people asking me what I did for the last 8.5 years of my life while I was “raising” my children.

    It’s. SO. Not funny. I thought I was doing the right thing and now I realize that in the corporate world I AM FUCKED.

    • Darryl

      @OHmommy, Raising children in the preschool years from home is important but 8.5 years to start school??? What’s with that?

      Still, shame on them for belittling your parenting years.

      • jen

        @Darryl, “children” implies more than one child, therefore 8.5 years makes perfect sense…
        @OHmommy At least, in your own eyes, you know you were doing the right thing. Screw ’em if they think otherwise. It’s when one was actually pursuing a degree and working – in a completely unrelated field than what you’re currently working/trying to find a career in – that one feels like life was a complete waste of time.

  3. Joy

    I wish I could sing the house clean like Mary Poppins.

    I wish that I could sing, too.

    I wish that I could move to the desert, where it is hot and sunny all day, with very very little rain, and absolutely no snow…

  4. Dave2

    I wish I could work on cars.

    I wish I could comprehend quantum physics.

    I wish I could could speak more languages.

    I wish I could fly airplanes.

    I wish I could explode people with the power of my mind like in “Scanners.”

  5. Sybil Law

    I wish I could make cartoons. I could draw them, but getting them made… ugh.
    I wish I could design and build my dream house – or, one of them.
    Mostly, I wish I could guarantee the health of family and friends.

  6. lceel

    I wish I could shoot that fucker right between the eyes.
    I wish I could afford to retire.
    I wish I could stop worrying about my son that has swine flu. (’cause – really – he’ll be okay.)
    I wish I could finish my book(s).
    I wish I could get more than 5 hours sleep at a time. (Well, I COULD, actually, but then I’d never get anything done.)

  7. hello haha narf

    i’m fairly content with me, but i’ve always wanted to be able to sing. unfortunately i can barely play the radio so any musical instruments are out, and i’m cool with that, but it makes me a little sad that my voice 9and lack of rhythm) will never make people happy.
    well that isn’t exactly true…i bet you fuckers are happy that i am NOT singing for you any time in the near future, but you know…

  8. Kris

    I really wish I could get that 1:36 of my life back. ;D

    I wish I could lose weight.
    I wish I could keep it off.
    I wish I could replace all the broken body parts.
    I wish I could not live paycheck to paycheck. Of course that means I’d be single again. Hmm….
    I wish I could pick up and travel anywhere at any time.
    I wish I could tolerate small spaces.
    I wish I could make my friends who are in pain feel better.
    I wish I could time travel.
    I wish I had superpowahs!!

  9. jen

    I wish I could move back across the country to be closer to my family & friends. It’s getting a wee bit too lonely out here in the armpit of Ohio.
    I wish I had the motivation to get in shape and boost my energy level. This lethargy is kicking my ass.
    I wish my job would pick back up again. I’m bored out of my mind and almost wish I’d been laid off so I could be doing something else by now.
    I wish we weren’t so damn broke.
    I wish I had something happy to say…

  10. Badass Geek

    You want to sing as good as that guy? Shouldn’t be too hard. Just drop trou and sing a couple octaves while a cat scratches the fuck out of your balls. That’d produce pretty much the same effect.

    I wish I had the patience to get through one day at work without relying on anxiety medications.

  11. Faiqa

    I wish I could get this stupid line from this stupid song out of my head: “I wish I was a ball-a/I wish I had a girl that looked good/ I would call-a”

    Thank you so much for that.

    I wish I could go back in time.

    I wish I could stop caring so much about what the wrong people think.

    I wish I could concentrate.

    I wish I were more focused.

  12. Hilly

    I wish I could sew.
    I wish I was more crafty.
    I wish I could turn off the thoughts of him.
    I wish I could forgive more easily.
    I wish I could figure out a way to make it all feel okay.
    I wish I could vegetarian. But I can’t. And I won’t.

  13. Hockeyman

    I think that guy was on the toilet. I sing like that every time I have a stingy turd.

    I wish I could fix a car.
    I wish I could play sports professionally.
    I wish I could play guitar or piano.
    I wish I didn’t suffer from social anxiety.
    I wish I was a little bit taller.
    Being able to draw really well would be awesome as well…

  14. Zach

    since most everyone obviously went for the deeper meaning on this post, I feel quite petty to bring this up, but…

    seriously, didn’t it seem like he was just hammerin’ away at Mr. Winky the entire time he ws doing that? And when he switched hands toward the end, you could see him *really* getting into it, no? am I alone on this one?

    and I do have a wish: that everyone above realize they are strong enough to make at least some of their wishes come true. speaking languages, playing instruments, creating art, fixing things, being more patient…those are all within our control. freaky psychic/physical powers, not so much. but with the rest, there’s no one but you in your way.

  15. chamblee54

    There is a saying, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one gets full faster.
    After reading Zach’s comment, and watching the video with the sound turned off, I must consider the possibility that Shane was shitting in one hand and wishing in the other.
    He should wash his hands.

  16. martymankins

    Not to steal one of your wishes, but I do wish I could draw. I see talent like Dave2 and how they are able to make things work so quickly.

    I guess extending that, I wish I knew animation well. Would be nice to be able to produce an animated short.

  17. Christy

    I wish I could hug my dad.
    I wish my husband would have gotten a much deserved raise.
    I wish I could let go of some things.
    But mostly I wish I would have stopped that video before he started in on the higher octaves. What the fuck is wrong with me?

  18. christie

    holy crap, if I could sing like that Shane guy I would be set for liiiiife! cha-Ching!

    You can take classes for all your wants 🙂

    As for my wants- I sooooo want to learn how to do a really good strip tease and pole dance. Just for my husband of course.

  19. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy

    I’m not going to lie: I’m awesome at most things I touch. But I am a horrible singer. You know how you’ll run into that odd person that claims they sing horribly so that someone will convince them to sing and then compliment them afterward because it wasn’t that bad after all. Well, I’m not that person. I sing so poorly that growing up we weren’t allowed to listen to the radio in the car if I was singing along. It, no joke, sounds like a cat is being raped.

    So I wish I could sing. And bowl. I suck at any bowling that isn’t on the Wii. I’d like to be decent at bowling.

  20. Loukia

    Hmmm…

    Real stuff?

    I wish I was more patient.
    I wish I NEVER raised my voice at my children.
    I wish I could cook amazing and healthy meals all the time.
    I wish I live to hold my grandchildren in my arms.
    I wish every child on earth was deeply loved.
    I wish no child ever had to suffer or get sick.

    Other stuff?

    I wish I could eat what I want without gaining weight.
    I wish I could lose weight as easily as I did when I was in my 20’s.
    I wish I could shop whenever I wanted with no guilt whatsoever.
    I wish I lived somewhere where it wasn’t freezing cold for 7 months of the year!
    I wish my sister would watch Glee.

  21. Carolyn

    Wow. He went from sounding like a lame duck having sex to a cat having it’s tail pulled. And I love the strained look and subtle sheen he acquires as he moves through the octaves. Excellent.

    I wish I could do more with my time. I always feel like it’s slipping away from me.
    I wish I could play the violin.
    I wish I could go back to University to get a fine arts degree.

  22. Jen

    I wish I could sing.
    I wish I could paint.
    I wish I could clean the house just by snapping my fingers.
    I wish I could make my mother-in-law realize no one wants to hear her talk about her bowels for hours at a time.
    I wish I could spell the word “embarrassment” without spellcheck telling me I’ve done it wrong. Just once.

  23. Charissa

    I wish I could keep my home as organized as my work.
    I wish I could stay off the internet and finish writing.
    I wish I could attract men. (I’ve never been able to!) And more importantly, I wish I could attract the men I’ve finally figured out I need.
    I wish I could unwatch that video.
    I wish I could loose the last 25 pounds.
    I wish I had more self confidence.
    I wish my sister’s depression would go away.
    I wish I could travel more.
    I wish I could fly.
    (I’m so glad most all of these are going to happen soon!)

  24. Tiffany

    I can cook but that’s it. I always thought I could sing, that is until my husband told me I’m really not that great in a moment of spite. Oh well… at least the kids are still too young/tone-deaf enough to tell me otherwise.

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