After playing around with the new Twitter list function and randomly adding all people I’m following into either a “marry“, “fuck“, or “kill” list, I decided that we should play that game. Out of the following groups, who would you marry, who would you fuck, and who would you kill?
1. Marry JFK for the money, Fuck Obama because you know he’d be pretty fucking eager, and Kill Reagan before he could call you a Commie.
2. Marry RuPaul so you can borrow his clothes, no matter what your sex is, Fuck Michael J. Fox because he’d do all the work involuntarily, and Kill Rosie O’Donnell because she’s Rosie O’Donnell.
3. Marry Kristen Bell because you could spend years talking to her without getting bored, Fuck Mila Kunis because she would be a fucking tiger, and Kill Angelina Jolie because she’s an ugly skank.
4. Marry Bert because you know he’d take care of the house, Fuck Snuffleupagus because he’s imaginary, so nobody will actually remember that it happened, and Kill Elmo because his voice would make your brain melt.
What are your answers?