With the recent discovery of significant water on the moon, NASA has redoubled their astronomical pursuits. I have secured a list of the other complex elements that NASA hopes to find on other planetary bodies:
Moon: Water
Mercury: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Venus: Mercury
Mars: Nougat
Jupiter: Roofies
Saturn: Summer’s Eve
Uranus: Hidden Valley Ranch
Neptune: Cotton Candy
And this doesn’t even cover their covert desire to discover a cache of Diet Coke with Lime on Saturn’s moon of Titan or that cream that’s inside Twinkies on Halley’s comet.
This new trend of space discovery also reminds me of the Old Negro Space Program:
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Happy Halloween!
No ninjas?
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@noraisins, the ninjas were there but they are just invisible. Because they’re stealthy!
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I was a little disappointed with them discovering water. I was actually hoping the rocky texture was due to Toffee.
Damn it.
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@Andria, I’d love to go to the toffee moon.
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Where do you FIND this stuff?!!
“It is cold as fuck up here!”
Hahaha
Also, Jupiter sounds fun.
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@Sybil Law, someone sent it to me. It’s a great little video.
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this post is incomplete. please edit to add Pluto. I don’t care what those fuckers in lab coats say, Pluto is still a planet in MY eyes
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@bluepaintred, Pluto’s not a planet. It’s NOTHING, ya hear me? Nothing!
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Brilliant piece of film.
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@CP, it was hilarious.
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Everyone knows that Uranus is made of honey mustard.
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@Grant, that myth was dispelled with the giant Chicken Finger Fiasco of 1993.
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mining for missing molecules makes moon missions monumentally magical. maybe.
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@avatgardener, magnificent.
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I BET my son will volunteer for the Neptune mission!
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@DutchBitch, it’s a mission manned entirely by children.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Sir:
I am shocked and appalled by your use of the word nougat in this post. And negro.
Please take down this entire blog immediately or I will be forced to
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@Poppy, you are so clever.
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What about Pluto?
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@pixielation, it’s not a planet anymore!
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@Avitable, yes but the last time I looked, neither was the moon – and it’s on the list.
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Oh my goodness. Thanks for the laughs.
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@The Bombshell, it’s what I do!
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Mmmmmmmmm……. Nougat!
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@Blondefabulous, my favorite too.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Don’t tell me you buy into the vast government conspiracy that we actually landed on the moon. Or that we even have a moon. Or a sky. In fact, don’t tell me you buy into the fact that you’re really sitting there and reading this comment. Or that anything at all is real.
Only the government is real.
The rest of it is all lights, film making magic and a sound stage.
Wait, that would mean that only the people doing the special effects are real, nix the government is real part. In conclusion, this means, really, the only thing in this life that is real are nerds.
It’s a comforting thought.
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@Faiqa, the geek shall inherit the earth.
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Twitter: laurenacarlton
says:
Dammit I was totally going to write a post like this but you beat me to it! Yours is funnier, of course.
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@Lauren, I’m sure yours would be even better.
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I would have thought that the nougat was on Uranus.
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A Lunar Dingleberry.
Sweet.
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@Hilly, chunky, corny nougat.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
i knew i loved jupiter for a reason
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@hello haha narf, roofies are fun 50% of the time.
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OMG! Blackstranauts and the Black Black-Out? Where do you find this stuff and how much time do you spend looking for it?
Note to self: Do not read Adam’s posts at work. I had to keep pausing the video to keep from laughing out loud.
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@Employee No. 3699, I spend all my time doing this while my employees work hard.
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