Avitable Interviews Dead Celebrities

The Great Interview Experiment

Neil came up with the concept:

Wouldn’t it be cool, if for one day, we really did believe that everyone really did have an important story to tell online?

Click his name and comment on that post. You will interview the person who commented before you. The person who comments after you will interview you. And so on.

I was interviewed by Rimarama. Go check it out – I’m pretty fucking funny.

I interviewed Kiki from Kon-Kiki. She’s a very interesting young writer with a lot of cool ideas – definitely worth adding to your feedreader. I asked the boring questions, she provided the interesting answers:

1. You’re slowly proceeding along that inexorable path to old age, aka 30. What do you plan on doing for your birthday that will be memorable and adventurous?

Well god damn. Nice to meet you too. Let’s see, I have about four years until my 30th birthday, so expect your Evite invitation in, oh, 1,440 days or so. Of course this is assuming that I’m alive and that the world hasn’t ended in 2012, so the odds aren’t really in my favor. If by chance I’m around, I don’t plan on making a big to do about 30, or any birthday really. I just hope that I’m happy where I am and that I feel good about what I’ve been doing with my life. And that I’m still hot. Most importantly.

2. In your search for your daily Columbus (e.g., new foods, books, music, etc.), what is the coolest item that you have discovered and did anyone appreciate it?

I have to admit that I’ve been pretty lax about updating that Columbus section. I have every intention of getting around to it, but I can’t get it to look the way that I want and so it bothers me. At this point, I’m pretending it doesn’t exist, which is my go-to solution to all problems. I guess my best discoveries of late have been restaurants. There are so many amazing little places in this city, and I’ve been spending a lot of time writing about them on Yelp. No one has really told me that they appreciate anything that I do, but maybe I’ll be able to wrangle something out of someone around the Thanksgiving dinner table next week.

3. You’ve only been blogging for about five months now, from what I can tell. What inspired you to start blogging and where do you see yourself going with it?

This particular blog was started early this summer, but I’ve had multiple blogs over the last five/six years. I think I have the sensibilities of a writer, in the sense that as I’m experiencing things I’m always going over how I will write them. I think a lot and am constantly narrating things in my head, and because that actually may be the definition of insane, it’s probably good to get those thoughts out somewhere, even if not many people read them. I suppose the purpose of this blog has been documentation of my move to New York for myself, but also to keep friends and family updated with what I’m doing up here.

I don’t really have notions of “going” somewhere with this blog, but like many bloggers, I do have dreams of writing a book, though I’m certainly not writing in hopes of being “discovered” or something like that. I guess I’m sort of naïve to the cliquey, network-y, business side of blogging . . . and I’m not really interested in that crap. I’m just here to practice by writing about whatever happens to be going on in my life/head and attempting to create a more focused tone or writing persona.

4. I see “attempt living in Los Angeles” as something you are interesting in doing. Do you think it would be harder than living in your current home of NYC and if so, why?

I was raised in the Washington, DC area but born in Los Angeles and still have a lot of family there and throughout southern California. Having spent lots of time in the area, I know that it’s very, very different from the east coast, and it would be a challenge to change mentalities.

In general, the east coast is much more diverse than the west. I love walking around New York and seeing so many unique faces and styles. Things aren’t perfect here – the weather, the small spaces, the expenses to name a few – but I think because things aren’t perfect (or attempting to be perfect), people feel freer to find their niche and to be their own self; frizzy hair, big noses, pale skin and all.

I visited family in LA this past August, and have to admit that life appears to be good there – easier, happier, carefree, healthier, youthful – at least at the beach. I think it would be interesting to live there for a time, just for the experience. I know it’s not the place for me permanently; I love walking, seasons, a quick pace, and short flights to Europe far too much.

5. Let’s play a game of Marry, Fuck, Kill: Out of Rosie O’Donnell, Portia de Rossi, and Gloria Steinem, who would you marry, who would you fuck and who would you kill?

You are such a guy. Ok, I’ll play.

First of all, I’d marry Gloria Steinham [sic]. She’s by far the most interesting of the three . . . not to mention she was married to David Bale, Christian Bale’s father. Seeing that she was technically Christian Bale’s stepmother for some time, I think as her wife I could probably have him over to the house for holidays and such. She’s also the oldest and most likely to die of the three, and as her widow, I’d probably get invited to a lot of really cool events and parties and be asked to hand out awards given in her honor. I could start a big foundation in her memory and throw all sorts of society galas. Christian Bale would obviously be involved with the foundation, would be there for my in my time of need, and helplessly fall in love with me. I’d pretend to feel horrible about starting a relationship with my dead wife’s late husband’s son, but I’d let him seduce me and we’d end up getting married and having loads of babies and I’d be named Most Beautiful Woman on Earth by People magazine.

Oh, and though Rosie O’Donnell was funny on Curb Your Enthusiasm a few weeks ago and therefore far more useful to me than Portia de Rossi, there’s absolutely no way I’d fuck her. So, Portia is the lucky one and Rosie has to die. I’d make it painless though. For both of them.

Thanks, Kiki, for such a great interview!

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13 Replies to “The Great Interview Experiment”

    • Avitable

      @Hilly, yeah, I was worried about that, which is why I actually said “I asked the questions and she provided the answers.” I had seen another blog where I was thoroughly confused who was interviewing whom. It’s okay, it was early.

  1. Rach

    Kiki is my best friend…I’ve known her since 2nd grade and she’s one of the funniest/wittiest people I know! This was a great interview and as usual, she had me laughing so hard I was teary 🙂 I also followed the link for your interview…must add this blog to my list, my sides hurt from laughing!

  2. Rach

    Kiki is my best friend, I’ve known her for about 18 years and she’s one of the funniest/wittiest people I know! The interview was great, questions and answers and had me *nearly* peeing myself. (Which from following the link to your interview I figure would make you very proud 🙂 I think I’ve found a new blog to add to my daily routine!

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