It's not always about being funny.

Fatty McFatterson

If you’ve been reading this blog for more than four or five months, you’re aware that in an effort to lose a significant amount of weight and to avoid dying by the age of 35, I underwent lap-band surgery in March 2009. For those of you who don’t know, the lap band is a small band placed at the top of your stomach that allows you to eat about four ounces at a time and you should stay full for about four to five hours on only those four ounces.

Since February, when I started dieting in preparation for the surgery, I’ve lost almost 120 pounds. That’s more than an Ali. It’s almost a Britt. It’s not close to a LeSombre.

The last two months, though, haven’t been nearly as successful as the previous seven. My weight loss has slowed to a crawl. I’ve been under a great deal of stress, which causes me to eat more small meals during the day, not the three I should be eating. I also know of different ways to eat more, such as drinking water or liquids during my meals, eating liquids like ice cream, or eating really “slippery” foods like foods with a lot of Ranch or mayonnaise on them. I have not been working out, either. Combine these factors with the fact that my band is currently looser than normal (after an overtightening a month ago), and my weight loss has been almost zero.

In an effort to kickstart it again and continue on my quest to reach my goal weight of 225 pounds, the amazing and wonderful Karen Sugarpants and I are having a little competition (thanks to Matthew over at ChildsPlayX2 for the idea). We are going to see who can lose the highest percentage of weight by February 1. The winner gets the satisfaction of winning. The loser has to post a music video in which she dances to a song chosen by me. (Or, if by some amazing chance, Karen wins, I’ll dance to a song chosen by her.)

With Thanksgiving this week and Christmas around the corner, replete with fudge, cookies, and lots of other temptation, this should be interesting, but hopefully not a portrait of abject failure. Wish us luck, and if you have any suggestions for what song Karen should dance to when she loses, leave them in the comments.

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126 Replies to “Fatty McFatterson”

  1. Y

    Going through my own personal hell with weight here and after some great success after starting a new medication (not weight loss pill) things have slowed down. I may just secretly join in on your challenge and secretly beat you both. (because, you know, THIS IS NOT MY CHALLENGE TO JOIN. HAHA)

    I think when you lose, you should have to dance to What’s Your Fantasy, by Ludacris.

    Ahhh, yeaaah.

  2. Lisa

    I need a challenge to shake my tree a little!

    120 lbs is awesome! I understand the feeling of not being where you want to yet, though, and I’m wishing you the best. I’m looking forward to seeing the video, whoever it turns out to be.

  3. Monique

    If only bariatric surgery worked on the head as well as the stomach … Drinking while eating is a hard habit to break (for several months, I physically couldn’t, after my RNY) but I do stay full longer when I wait 30 minutes after eating to drink. Bah.

    • Avitable

      @Monique, I usually wait 30-45 minutes after eating to drink any liquids, but in the last month or so I’ve been ignoring that rule and it’s allowed me to eat more. I need to stay disciplined to that if I’m going to succeed. It’s just sometimes that I want to eat more because the food looks so good.

      • Joy

        @Avitable, I wish I was out of touch with this song too! But since I am not, I am sharing the pain, aka a trouble shared is a trouble halved and all that BS! This song came courtesy of last year’s Halloween Dance at my son’s elementary school. It has been killing me (not so) softly ever since… You can check it out on iTunes for a sample of its fiendish glory…

  4. SingleParentDad

    Great idea, I recently kicked Dan’s ass in a see how quickly we can lose a stone contest. Worked well for me, but I think the embarrassment of losing to moi has meant Dan has hung himself, well he’s not returning my calls, so he must have done similar.

  5. Jennifer

    Good luck! A friend of mine who had RNY about the same time, has also stalled to a crawl in loosing. She’s only lost 77lbs, which is still fantastic, but most of her message board friends who had the surgery at the same time are at goal. She’s only lost a few pounds in the last 5 months, which she is really upset about.

    I wish I knew the answer to help.

  6. Sybil Law

    I am barely up on the hip songs these days, so I won’t make a suggestion. (Except NOT the Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” because I hate that fucking song so much it makes me want to murder people!)
    But you lost more than a Sybil! That is amazing!!!
    I think Britt, Hilly and Faiqa should all be your coaches. Set up some obstacle courses for you, etc. One could wear steel toed boots, one a loud, loud whistle, and one a whip.
    Get that on video. πŸ™‚

  7. Nanna

    Ah buddy is this not kind of normal for the weight loss to slow down? Doesn’t that make it more sustainable?

    I’m with those who want to see a video with BOTH of you in it. And to something old twangy and country. Now THAT would be fun!

  8. lceel

    Good luck, man. Normally I’d have some really witty but slightly fucked up remark to make that would demonstrate I’m just as left of kilter as you are – but in this case all I really want to say is – anything you can do to inspire yourself to lose weight – I’m all for it. I’d rather deal with a svelt, ugly, LIVE Adam than the memory of a big Adam.

  9. Finn

    I’m not quite sure this is a fair bet, but I bet Ms. Sugarpants can do anything she sets her mind to, so I’m looking forward to seeing you dance. I have some ideas for songs, too. Every heard of Vanity 6?

  10. pixielation

    Good luck with it – try allowing yourself to eat a little bit of all the things you love, and then dance between each meal. Dance until the floor is shaking! If you burn off enough calories, you can have another morsel!

    And if you film the dancing, we’ll all have some entertainment!

  11. Hilly

    I know this is so not about me (yes it is) but this will help me too. You are the person with whom I share the penchant for loving the “nice meal” so yanno. Plus we can now do more walking! Faiqa is back this week and it is on like Hilly Kong!

  12. Laurie

    120 pounds is truly incredible. I know a lot of people who got lapband and it didn’t work because they didn’t change their eating habits. It had to take a lot of hard work to get where you are, and you should be proud!

    I’d like to see y’all dance to some Lady Gaga. Or Britney.

  13. Zoeyjane

    I’d love to think that Karen will win and you’ll be stuck doing Single Ladies or something, but the fact is, in Canada, they put weed in the water. And we all know that weed leads to munchies. Delicious, Cool Ranch Dorito and Chewy Chips Ahoy munchies.

  14. Lynda

    Plateauing doesn’t have to be a bad thing. But healthy competition can be fun too! Good luck, and hope you get to a New Lynda loss soon. I don’t know if you want to lose the Old Lyndas. (191lbs & 227lbs)

      • Lynda

        @Avitable, I totally understand that, and I have been there. I am pretty sure you don’t mind blunt, so I’ll just say that you do know what you are not doing and what you need to do. It’s easier said than done, but start doing what you need to do again.

        I’m a stress eater also. Is there something you can do to replace the food. Take a short break to walk or meditation or something? The worst is giving up and undoing what you have done. (I did that too. Also, I’ll get off the soap box now. ;))

        Also, feel free to do this to me when I blog about how my weight loss is going meh. πŸ˜€

  15. Loralee

    Weight loss surgery and the after math can be a bitch for sure. I’m 15 years out on gastric bypass and I my weight has climbed a time or two. I can’t eat a ton at a time but I can eat OFTEN.

    Luckily, I corral myself and get back on track always and I think you will do the same. xo

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