Thankful

I’m thankful . . .

  • that Emma Watson is of legal age so that now I don’t feel quite so dirty.
  • for my friends who keep me humble.
  • that there’s a show like Glee on the air.
  • that the road of my life has had very few speed bumps or potholes.
  • for the layer of hair that keeps me insulated.
  • that I’ve experienced the feelings, emotions, and events that I have.
  • for Double Stuf Oreos and Chick Fil-A, even if they’re closed on Sundays.
  • that I can make people laugh.
  • that I never got arrested for streaking or flashing or a JIWD (Jerking It While Driving).
  • for you. And you and you and all of you too.
  • that I don’t have to clean my own house, because that shit is horrible.
  • that I am my own man.
  • that I can’t actually suck my own dick, because I’d never leave my room and probably die from malnutrition after like a month.
  • for boobs. I mean, c’mon. They’re pretty awesome!

What makes you thankful?

Enjoy this post? Try these:
Chat Roulette
Grand Theft Autoerotica
I expect an explosion any second now
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69 Responses to Thankful

  1. The blog community. Distractions. Things that make me smile. Family. Mike. Being able to write. Good news, no matter how obscure. Squirt (my cat). Being off on Thursday.

    Reply

    @Elizabeth Kaylene, being off on Thursday is definitely something good!

    Reply

  2. CP says:

    I’m grateful for boobs too.
    Oh, and banana nut massage oils.
    And, robot chicken.

    Reply

    @CP, Robot Chicken = awesome.

    Reply

  3. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    I don’t think it’s dirty that you like Emma Watson, because I would be all over Taylor Lautner if given the chance

    Reply

    @Amanda, well, that makes me feel better in a “yay we’re both creepy” type way!

    Reply

  4. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’m thankful that Emma Watson is legal now too.

    But only because I was starting to get creeped out by your frequent (not so much anymore) mentions of her.

    Reply

    @B.E. Earl, oh pshaw, you were not.

    Reply

    @Avitable, Nah…takes a lot to creep me out. A set of balls, fer instance.

    Reply

  5. Nilla Wafers; down comforters and rainy days (I’m pretty sure that’s a Carpenters song); the internets, our blogging community who kick serious ass and internet chums, without whom I don’t know where or who I would be; my family; that I’m healthy. Also, funny mothafuckas. And cookies.

    Reply

    @Jurgen Nation, the blogging community has proven itself to be invaluable and a great source of entertainment and strength.

    Reply

  6. tracey says:

    I wonder though: if you COULD suck your own dick, would it honestly feel as good? It’s kind of like tickling yourself, you know? I mean, masturbation is great and all, but part of the fun of sex is NOT KNOWING what’s going to happen next…

    Reply

    @tracey, hm. I shall do more research on this.

    Reply

    @Avitable, As in, you’re going to be having sex and masturbating all the time now? To compare, right?

    Hey, anything in the name of science.

    Well. Not science, I guess… Anything in the name of blogging?

    Whatever. Have fun.

    Reply

  7. Ashleigh says:

    I’m thankful for my boobs too. And for Glee. Also, Black Friday shopping, the friends that have turned into family, and potato salad.

    Reply

    @Ashleigh, you have friends who have turned into potato salad?

    Reply

  8. pixielation says:

    I will be thankful in about 24 hours, when the image of your pentultimate reason for being thankful is erased from my mind.

    Although hopefully, as I’ve forgotten about it, I won’t remember what I was being thankful about.

    Reply

    @pixielation, I think you should let that image burn itself into your retinas for all eternity.

    Reply

  9. Out-Numbered says:

    Why would you die of malnutrition? Semen Smoothie. Every time I visit this site, I feel like Pee Wee Herman or George Michael. BTW, I needed to google the spelling of semen and I feel good about that. Happy turkey day bro. Don’t stick your dick in the bird.

    Reply

    @Out-Numbered, there are many things that I can be called, but a turkey fucker isn’t one of them. Yet.

    Reply

  10. fuzzarelly says:

    I am thankful to have a husband who lets me manage the finances. (He kills the paycheck, and I cook it.)

    My cats and dog and rabbits and chickens. (Oh my!)

    The internet.

    Ninjas.

    Reply

    @fuzzarelly, the ninja clan appreciate your thankfulness and will not kill you this time.

    Reply

  11. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    You’re welcome!

    Reply

    @Miss Britt, pfft, you didn’t invent boobs.

    Reply

  12. Hilly says:

    The list would be too long but I will start with Junkies (heh), Homer Simpson, friends who make me laugh so hard that I have to run to Tinkle Town before I destroy my panties, ex husbands finally texting that they’ve sent me a check, finding out that a super nerd thinks I’m a wee bit geeky, little blonds who take me into their family, new friends who make me feel child-like during some dark days, pharmacy techs, mochi balls, witty repartee, and the power to move you (that’s telekinesis, Kyle).

    Surface – I just scratched it. I am feeling more thankful this year than I have in a long long time and it makes me feel good.

    Reply

    @Hilly, I love how Junkies is now her new name.

    Reply

  13. Hilly says:

    Oh and whimsy. I am super duper all the lands thankful for whimsy. ;)

    Reply

  14. Shauna says:

    I’m thankful for friends like you. And also for boobs. Because they ARE pretty awesome.

    Reply

    @Shauna, which is why boobs should be shared with the world. You first.

    Reply

  15. Badass Geek says:

    I’m thankful for this cold that I suddenly developed, that will most likely keep me from being responsible for any chores around the house for the next week.

    Reply

    @Badass Geek, that is definitely something to be thankful for!

    Reply

  16. Robin says:

    Definitely boobs.

    Reply

    @Robin, we are in agreement on something at least!

    Reply

  17. Grant says:

    But now that Emma Watson is of legal age, doesn’t that kill most of her appeal? Oh, well – at least we still have Dakota and Elle Fanning.

    Reply

    @Grant, and Dakota was looking gorgeous in New Moon.

    Reply

  18. Sybil Law says:

    I am thankful for family, friends, health, ponies, rainbows…
    (This is hard when you’re raging with PMS and some ass dropped their KIDS – plural – off at your house a full hour earlier than they said they were going to…)
    … my relative patience, cooked turkeys…
    I give up. Those kids are killing me right now.
    I am thankful for you, though. <3

    Reply

    @Sybil Law, put the kids to work preparing for tomorrow and then you can be thankful for that!

    Reply

  19. Marta says:

    Until two days ago I would have said I was thankful for my friends and family. I still am, but as of yesterday I’m also thankful that the parole board did not fall for my ex husband’s lies! Now I’m looking forward to the holidays!

    Reply

    @Marta, maybe they’ll reconsider and he’ll get out just in time to show up at your house.

    Reply

    @Avitable, I wish I could laugh at that but it’s so far from funny it’s hurtful.

    Reply

  20. Hockeymandad says:

    You should have started the list with boobs, then you would not even need to finish the list because we would have guessed all those other items just from that.

    Although, as much as I like the boobies, I am thankful I’m not a woman. After seeing 2 child births and all the 40 weeks of pregnancy, plus the annuals and monthly deals women get, I am very thankful I got a Y. I can’t imagine not being to pee wherever I feel like it and not even have to drop my pants to do it cleanly.

    Reply

    @Hockeymandad, this is true. Women do have it a lot tougher.

    Reply

  21. i’m pretty damn thankful for you and this blog. seriously.
    happy thanksgiving, adam.

    Reply

    @hello haha narf, you too, Becky. Miss you!

    Reply

  22. Peau says:

    Legs don’t suck, either.

    The combo works nicely.

    Happy Thanksgiving, cracker.

    Reply

    @Peau, that’s true – legs like yours are something to be thankful for.

    Reply

  23. Peau says:

    …at shop. no Skypey. lots of olives though

    Reply

    @Peau, pfft. I guess that’s a good excuse.

    Reply

    @Avitable, you need to be filled with love for me. it’s Thanksgiving and I am resplendent

    Reply

    @Peau, I am filled to the depths of the cockles of my heart.

    Reply

  24. Finn
    Twitter:
    says:

    You.
    Some other people (friends).
    A roof over my head.
    Food in my belly.
    Love in my heart.
    Being loved by others.
    Chocolate-covered strawberries.
    Chik-Fil-A (even if they’re closed on Sundays).
    My Tempurpedic mattress.
    Internet shopping.
    Health insurance.
    Health.
    My Mini.
    Some more people (family).

    There’s more, but I have work to do. Oh, yeah: my job!

    Reply

    @Finn, I’m thankful for you, too. Wish you were around more, too.

    Reply

  25. lceel says:

    I’m still trying to get over Jessica Biel.

    Reply

    @lceel, so you’re not thankful for her?

    Reply

    @Avitable, Not really. All she’s ever done is get me in trouble with Love Muffin – something about “How come you never look at ME like that?” and then it goes downhill from there. Hard to be thankful for that.

    Reply

  26. Karin aka perpstu
    Twitter:
    says:

    The blogging world, that I only have to come to this shithole of an office 14 more times, only two of my in-laws will be present at my Thanksgiving extravaganza and marshmallows. I think that about covers it.

    Reply

  27. Miss Grace says:

    If you could suck your own dick, you’d probably beat Sugarpants in that weightloss competition.

    Reply

  28. Darryl says:

    With all this talk of boobs being wonderful and all and after all the brouhaha about mamograms, at what age should I start getting mamograms for my moobs?

    Reply

  29. Jen says:

    Good bras, my kids, my husband, the rest of my pain in the ass family, the babies kicking around in my tummy that are going to let me afford a trip to Disney World, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, the fact that my mother-in-law lives nearly 2 hours away, tweezers, lube and juicy pear flavored jelly beans.

    That’s about it.

    Reply

  30. Lynda says:

    I’ll probably do a whole thankful post myself, but right now I’m thankful for this past year, and how life changing it has been.

    Reply

  31. Lynda says:

    Oh, and I’m also thankful I got to meet you this year! It was so much fun!!

    Reply

  32. Margaret says:

    I’m thankful for the people that make me laugh, listen to all the crap I may spew, and people in general that make my day better. (you included)

    Reply

  33. christie says:

    hehe, these are all good t hings to be thankful for :D

    Reply

  34. I am also thankful for boobs and wonder why there isn’t a whole day for that alone.
    Thanking the universe for boobs on the same day as turkey, peace health, family and love seems a little devaluing. I’m just saying.

    http://www.theladyslounge.com

    Reply

    @Jennifer June, But there is a whole month dedicated to boobs. ;-)

    Reply

  35. Kim says:

    I’m thankful…

    . that I successfully defended my dissertation Monday night (finally!)
    . that my husband didn’t leave me before it was over (things got pretty hairy toward the end)
    . that I have a secure, good-paying job in the awful economy (even if I hate it)
    . for my kids, all 4 of whom are healthy (physically anyway, emotionally, I wonder sometimes)
    . for your blog (even if it means viewing your balls from time to time).

    Happy Thanksgiving, Adam!

    Reply

  36. martymankins says:

    Well, since you already used boobs, I’ll say that I’m grateful that we got to meet up. Hoping there will be future visits involving alcohol.

    Reply

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