On the first day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
A brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the second day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the third day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the fourth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the fifth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the sixth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the seventh day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the eighth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the ninth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the tenth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Ten hi-def TVs,
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Eleven PCs crashing,
Ten hi-def TVs,
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Twelve banks imploding,
Eleven PCs crashing,
Ten hi-def TVs,
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!
The Twelve Days of Christmas in 2011
Swine flu and you
Swine flu’s still around?











Twitter: thegoddesscher
says:
I spit out my drink at “12 banks imploding”.
$38 billion dollar tax break to Citicorp announced right before the holiday.
Bend over, America…for Christmas, you are taking it up the ass, sans lube.
But hey, the rest of your gifts sound nifty!
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I love day three best!
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Twitter: MFA_Mama
says:
Wait…is that supposed to be your cock? Because I’ve been Avitaballed enough times that unless you had it tucked up under your chin when you took those pi–and THIS is why I should stay off the innernet when I’ve taken Nyquil!
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I think that’s the uncircumcised goatee of the face on his belly.
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Twitter: stillcrafty
, December 16th, 2009: 1:58 PM
@Andria, Ahh, that explains it. I didn’t see this reply before I posted my questions below. Thanks for clearing that up!
@avitable that’s a hell of a goatee ya got there!
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Twitter: thegoddesscher
says:
sidebar: I just entered your name into the Twitter search engine and got back 12 responses, all having to do with Ellen Degeneres.
Um, why?
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What? No ninjas?
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@Corey, really. I expected like, 12 ninja’s doing something.
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
You’re cute.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
I’m only counting 10 PCs in the picture. The 11th one is my white whale. I will find it. Just like Waldo.
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Twitter: Kapgar
says:
Would you be willing to share one of your Blu-Ray booties? I mean, you’ve got, like, six of them.
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Bravo!!! Bags of bounteous booty, brighten “boy’s” boudoir. (on Beethoven’s birthday!!)
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@avatgardener, How about Nine Ninja’s with numchucks.?
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
Blah blah blah, kind of funny.
But what REALLY impresses me is that you scrapped your original idea because you thought it might be offensive to some of your friends.
IT’S ALMOST LIKE YOU’RE GROWING OR SOMETHING!
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Twitter: mooshinindy
, December 16th, 2009: 10:11 AM
@Miss Britt, BLAME THE MORMONS!
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@Miss Britt, now we need to know what it was!
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The pattern of hair on your torso reminds me of those ink blot tests.
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I want to see the offensive post that Britt mentioned.
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Twitter: GrandeMocha
, December 16th, 2009: 9:50 AM
@Nobody, Me too!
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Apparently I’m not whoring myself out correctly.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
man, you know how to fucking do christmas right!
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So, for twelve days in a row you got a new Wii? That means you have twelve for free while I had to shell out $199 for just one? Some friend you are. But you can keep the 22 flu shots.
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Dammit. Your 12 days of xmas is better than mine. I just posted mine for today, as well. I hope you don’t plan on posting about bowel movements tomorrow. Because that’s what I have in store.
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Twitter: mooshinindy
, December 16th, 2009: 10:12 AM
@OHmommy, crap. (ha! pun!) now I really have to try and be original.
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I can’t be the only one who skipped all of the sections except the last. I’m not singing the entire song in my head from start to finish when the 12 lines in a row give the same effect.
I too would like to know what the other post idea was!
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@Clown, I did the same.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
Where do you find the time to do all of this drawing and still kick my ass at Words With Friends? And work and masturbate, etc.?
P.S. Can I have a TV?
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Twitter: mooshinindy
says:
I wasn’t offended at aaaalllL!!
The true avitable spirit of Christmas.
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Twitter: bobutler
says:
The song is okay, but worth reading through to get to the picture. Someday there will have to be a Avitamuseum.
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Hahahaha… what the hell?
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Please send me your extras.
And post the offensive post.
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Twitter: stillcrafty
says:
yes, but when did it send you the giant wang? And how’s your back?
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Very clever.
And I love it when you draw yourself naked.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
I’ll be one of the tweeters tweeting.
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