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Movie studios have anally raped my childhood

Yes, because “put on the jacket, take off the jacket” is just as memorable as “wax on, wax off.”

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43 Replies to “Movie studios have anally raped my childhood”

  1. Angry Julie Monday

    This makes me sad. I get it. Why all the gangsta’ references and ohh the 80’s…why! Can’t they think of something new? What’s next? Re-do of Fast Times at Ridgemount High?

  2. B.E. Earl

    Shouldn’t it be called The Kung Fu Kid or even The Kenpo Kid? Isn’t karate more of a Japanese-style form of martial arts?

    They will probably go through some roundabout explanation in the film how karate was created in Okinawa using borrowed techniques from Chinese Kenpo. Just so they could use the freakin’ title they want to use.

    And I’m done with the Fresh Prince’s son. That kid bothers me.

    PS – Did you see the South Park episode about George Lucas and Steven Speilberg raping Indiana Jones? Hi-larious. And sad, because it’s true.

  3. Greeneyezz

    “Movie studios have anally raped my childhood” He says.

    *Shakes head over and over again*

    Adam Adam Adam! Do you have *any* idea what *you* have done to *our* ‘innocence’??? 🙂 In Avitable’s Year End Review I’m sure the snake video tops it.
    Well. Almost. There was *One* other video that surely raped *my* innocence.
    However, I think this one might be a bit more to your liking:

    http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1579920046?bctid=23069425001

    Happy New Year Adam. 🙂

    ~ZZ

    • Clown

      @Dave2, That’s kind of Jackie Chan’s thing… Choosing embarrassing roles. You’ve seen commercials for his new opus about being a secret agent that babysits children who have been struck by the disease of poor voice overs, right?

  4. Slacker

    Nonononono. I mean, c’mon. Kid’s cute, can do some of the moves, but this ain’t Karate Kid (beside the whole, karate’s from Japan, this movie is set in China.) GRRRR, oh Jackie Chang, why? And the little kid’s getting top billing? Jeez, just because he’s Will’s son?

  5. Maria

    I’m looking forward to it, although I liked it better when it was called The Kung Fu Kid, it being based in China and all. I don’t approve of them remaking it, but since it’s done…

    My main reasoning is that I would like to see a little black kid being awesome on the big screen being as that’s still pretty rare. Plus, Will Smith’s little boy is a really good actor and he’s adorable. 🙂

    • Kris

      @Faiqa, I was beginning to think I was the only one wanting to see this movie! (I think JC is da bomb, too.)

      Jaden Smith? Yeah, I could probably do without him, but he is a scrawny little kid in the movie, so I guess he had that going for him. They needed to “build someone up” I guess.

      And the original title, I believe WAS (or still may be) Kung Fu Kid. And no – Hollywood doesn’t have any more original thoughts. They have all been assimilated.

      @everyoneelse Don’t hate on the JC peeps!

  6. perpstu

    I said hells to the no, but my 6 year old son got all big eyed when he saw the trailer and has been karate chopping everything in sight which means I am probably going to have to see it. I’ll try really hard not to like it though!

  7. Sybil Law

    My kid is going to want to see it, and up her request for karate lessons.
    I’m holding you responsible, because… well, because I can.
    Still, I like that she wants to take karate. Or Tai Chi. Or whatever the fuck it is.

  8. Hockeyman

    It’s sad that Hollywood has run out of good original ideas. Or maybe society is too too accepting of the lack of originality. I bet releasing and re-hyping the original would generate as much cash maybe…

    I know you aren’t at all into sports, but you have to give pro sports some credit that it doesn’t matter who your daddy is, you have to earn your seat at the table. In Hollywood, any successful actor’s child can act as a profession if they choose to. However, if Mickey Mantle’s kid can’t hit a curve ball he’ll never wear the pro pinstripes.

    I don’t have anything against Will Smith’s kid, but the ease in which he’s able to do major studio movies cheapens the craft and business of acting.

  9. Janelle

    I’m looking forward to this movie and taking my girls to see it. I don’t mind remakes, normally. Now, if they ever re-did Gone with the Wind or Goodfellas, I might have a problem with that 🙂

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