Movie studios have anally raped my childhood
Yes, because "put on the jacket, take off the jacket" is just as memorable as "wax on, wax off."
Posted in 
- When figuring out a course of action, I ask "WWIDIIWFTFAKWWH?" or "What would I do if I was from the future and knew what would happen?"
- Ever see someone out in public and just think, "Somebody should tell her she has a moustache"?
- At the dentist for the first time in two years. I love the dentist! #notsarcasm
- I have posted: I need your votes! http://bit.ly/9nbPTK
- I think Tron is one of those "you had to be there" movies that only has nostalgic value. Like Goonies.
This is where a "dislike" button would come in handy.
Reply
This makes me sad. I get it. Why all the gangsta' references and ohh the 80's…why! Can't they think of something new? What's next? Re-do of Fast Times at Ridgemount High?
Reply
i'd watch it. my kids will probably love it. besides, waxing is a whole 'nother thing now dude.
Reply
it's official: there are no more new ideas. bummer, i had relatively high hopes for the new year.
Reply
I saw this terrible poster coming out of "Nine," now I have seen the terrible trailer.
Reply
Shouldn't it be called The Kung Fu Kid or even The Kenpo Kid? Isn't karate more of a Japanese-style form of martial arts?
They will probably go through some roundabout explanation in the film how karate was created in Okinawa using borrowed techniques from Chinese Kenpo. Just so they could use the freakin' title they want to use.
And I'm done with the Fresh Prince's son. That kid bothers me.
PS – Did you see the South Park episode about George Lucas and Steven Speilberg raping Indiana Jones? Hi-larious. And sad, because it's true.
Reply
Maybe The Wushu Kid. I dunno.
Reply
Thank you for posting this! I keep forgetting to look it up and watch. Yeah the jacket bit seems lame, and I'm a bit wary of Jackie Chan in a straight role. We shall see. I miss Pat Morita.
Reply
"Movie studios have anally raped my childhood" He says.
*Shakes head over and over again*
Adam Adam Adam! Do you have *any* idea what *you* have done to *our* 'innocence'???
In Avitable's Year End Review I'm sure the snake video tops it.
Well. Almost. There was *One* other video that surely raped *my* innocence.
However, I think this one might be a bit more to your liking:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1579920046?bctid=23069425001
Happy New Year Adam.
~ZZ
Reply
I forgot to subscribe.
Reply
As Charles Barkley would say, this is turrible turrible.
Reply
Why? Why? Why? Why would Jackie Chan be a part of this embarrassment?
Reply
@Dave2, That's kind of Jackie Chan's thing… Choosing embarrassing roles. You've seen commercials for his new opus about being a secret agent that babysits children who have been struck by the disease of poor voice overs, right?
Reply
Seriously. I'm disappointed in Jackie Chan. He's no Miagi and never will be. And I'm sorry but there are other cultures in America besides thugs. American cinema needs to broaden its horizons.
Reply
Nonononono. I mean, c'mon. Kid's cute, can do some of the moves, but this ain't Karate Kid (beside the whole, karate's from Japan, this movie is set in China.) GRRRR, oh Jackie Chang, why? And the little kid's getting top billing? Jeez, just because he's Will's son?
Reply
I heard this was being redone. I don't plan to watch it.
Saw the trailer in your post. I have doubled my resolve to plan not to watch it.
Reply
OMFG! BLASPHEMY! I fucking swear. Hollywood has NO TALENT anymore. It guess it was inevitable as the music industry is just as horrible.
*moving to Pluto*
Reply
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. And karate is Japanese.
Reply
@Maria,
kah
rah
tay
totally Japanese.
Reply
::hands over lube::
Very Scary.
Reply
I have an unnatural love for Jackie Chan but not even *that* can make me go see this piece of doggy doodie. Blergh, just blergh.
Reply
I'm looking forward to it, although I liked it better when it was called The Kung Fu Kid, it being based in China and all. I don't approve of them remaking it, but since it's done…
My main reasoning is that I would like to see a little black kid being awesome on the big screen being as that's still pretty rare. Plus, Will Smith's little boy is a really good actor and he's adorable.
Reply
I am literally running to the store to get The Karate Kid so I can watch it with my boys tonight. Must get in *real* movies first so they can also hearken back to the original with me.
Reply
why do you make me cry?
Reply
I gotta remember to skip this one. Also heard that 'Robocop' is being remade. WHY??????
Reply
Unimaginative Hollywood. Rebooting a franchise that didn't need rebooting.
What's next? Land Before Time?
Reply
You people are whack. This movie looks like da' bomb and I'ma go see it with my peeps as soon as it hits the silver. Jackie Chan rocks da' howwwssse. Mad love. Peace.
Reply
@Faiqa, Umm… no racism was involved in the fabrication of this comment.
Reply
@Faiqa, I was beginning to think I was the only one wanting to see this movie! (I think JC is da bomb, too.)
Jaden Smith? Yeah, I could probably do without him, but he is a scrawny little kid in the movie, so I guess he had that going for him. They needed to "build someone up" I guess.
And the original title, I believe WAS (or still may be) Kung Fu Kid. And no – Hollywood doesn't have any more original thoughts. They have all been assimilated.
@everyoneelse Don't hate on the JC peeps!
Reply
This makes the baby jesus cry.
Reply
I said hells to the no, but my 6 year old son got all big eyed when he saw the trailer and has been karate chopping everything in sight which means I am probably going to have to see it. I'll try really hard not to like it though!
Reply
My kid is going to want to see it, and up her request for karate lessons.
I'm holding you responsible, because… well, because I can.
Still, I like that she wants to take karate. Or Tai Chi. Or whatever the fuck it is.
Reply
If it's set in China, shouldn't it be the Kung Fu kid?
I like that your blog has a childhood rape tag.
Reply
Just. Say. No.
Reply
It's like everyone born in the 70s and 80s have to go around with their own tube of anal lube considering what the movie studios are doing to us.
Unless, like Avitable, you already do.
Reply
I think the correct term is sodomized without consent. Probably.
Reply
I'm back to let you know I showed Thomas the trailer and he's all over it and can't wait to see it now. So yay. I win. I guess. Wait..
Reply
As soon as my kid sees this trailer, I just KNOW he's gonna make me take him. He's all about the karate these days. Le sigh. Perhaps I should get rid of the tvs in the house right now. Lord have mercy.
Reply
It's sad that Hollywood has run out of good original ideas. Or maybe society is too too accepting of the lack of originality. I bet releasing and re-hyping the original would generate as much cash maybe…
I know you aren't at all into sports, but you have to give pro sports some credit that it doesn't matter who your daddy is, you have to earn your seat at the table. In Hollywood, any successful actor's child can act as a profession if they choose to. However, if Mickey Mantle's kid can't hit a curve ball he'll never wear the pro pinstripes.
I don't have anything against Will Smith's kid, but the ease in which he's able to do major studio movies cheapens the craft and business of acting.
Reply
Ummm…. Wha???
You know a movie is missing something when the trailer isn't intriguing enough to make me watch it past the jacket sequence.
Reply
I'm looking forward to this movie and taking my girls to see it. I don't mind remakes, normally. Now, if they ever re-did Gone with the Wind or Goodfellas, I might have a problem with that
Reply
I know.. really… WTF. Unoriginal bastards.
Reply
Yeah, there's no originality left anymore, and that sucks. But I think the fighting sequences might rock a little harder, and that's cool.
Reply