Morality is subjective

Even More Twitter Through History

First, there was Twitter throughout history. Then there was more Twitter throughout history.

And now we have even more!

Twitter, for those of you ancient ones who think sexting is putting things in groups of six, is a microblogging site where people can tell the world what they’re doing, reply to other people who are saying what they’re doing, and enjoy a global nonstop conversation. It’s been around for a little over two years, and there are politicians, corporations, and celebrities using it alongside us common folk.

But what if Twitter had been around for longer?

RPolanski Who wants to share a ‘ludes and champagne cocktail and then have nsa sex?
7:42 PM Mar 10th, 1977 from BBS

ImThirt33n @RPolanski I’ll meet you in Jack’s bedroom.
7:44 PM Mar 10th, 1977 from BBS in reply to @RPolanski

HonestAbe I don’t want to go to the theater tonight. I’d rather go to bed early. #WinkWink
1:03 PM Apr 14, 1865 from telegraph

MTLincoln @HonestAbe Ummm, I have a headache.
1:06 PM Apr 14, 1865 from telegraph in reply to @HonestAbe

Prometheus I have eight invites from Fire. DM me if you want one.
9:54 AM Aug 10, -4000 from messenger

Meriwether101 Is hanging out with a smoking hot chick. Wish me luck, tweeps!
6:15 PM Nov 4, 1804 from pony express

WilliamTheClarky @Meriwether101 I called dibs first. Don’t break the bro code.
6:17 PM Nov 4, 1804 from pony express in reply to @Meriwether101

Sacagawea @Meriwether101 @WilliamTheClarky, I only like black dudes.
6:19 PM Nov 4, 1804 from pony express in reply to @Meriwether101

JMan My hands are fucking killing me.
6:00 PM Feb 20th, 32 from messenger

Peter @JMan You’re hanging from a cross, how the hell are you tweeting?
6:06 PM Feb 20th, 32 from messenger in reply to @JMan

EdithFinkelstein Oy, these new ballots are so confusing. I can’t tell if I did it right or not!
2:57 PM Nov 7th, 2000 from web

RNCVolunteer @EdithFinkelstein, Oh, it doesn’t matter – what’s one little vote?
3:18 PM Nov 7th, 2000 from web in reply to @EdithFinkelstein

RebelWoutCause It’s a beautiful day for a drive. Think I’ll take the Spyder out.
5:12 PM Sep 30th, 1955 from telegraph

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65 Replies to “Even More Twitter Through History”

  1. Bellawriter

    Oh my lordy, I would love to know what your brain does on copious amounts of wine if this is you ‘normal’. Good god you’re funny. That read like a Robot Chicken sketch, slightly innapropriate in the best possible way. Hee hee.

  2. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    JRosenberg Hon, could you pick up some Jell-O at the store today?
    2:12 PM Sept. 12, 1945 from telegraph

    ERosenberg Why? All you ever do is throw away the mix and cut the box into funny shapes. I’m not wasting our money on your stupid little spy games! Leave me out of it!
    2:45 PM Sept. 12, 1945 from telegraph

  3. JD at I Do Things

    If Twitter had been around longer, my mom might’ve been able to Twitter to her girlfriends that Spencer Tracy was visiting her upstairs neighbor. And then she wouldn’t have been the only one to get his autograph.

    My mom is probably glad Twitter wasn’t around then.

  4. muskrat

    Wow…picking on a bunch of tragic figures this time, huh? That Mary Todd…why’d she have to fuck things up for all of us (but A.Johnson)?

    I sat next to his seat on the anniversary of his assassination in 2006 for a showing of Shenandoah with Scott Bakula. Pretty cool.

    • Avitable

      @Alec McNayr, I had never heard of your site until someone above mentioned it. There are definitely a few clever ones on there. Good luck with the book. I usually remove people who are pimping their own site, but it’s relevant to the post, so I’ll leave the link.

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