Happy birthday to me.
Today, I turn 33. I plan on eating an entire grocery store birthday cake, four little ounces at a time. Who's with me?
Posted in 
- I have posted: June 30th can't come fast enough! http://bit.ly/acCZiL
- I can't write an angry tweet without it seeming passive aggressive so instead I'll just bemoan the existence of gossips.
- It's barely 8 AM and I've already responded to 45 work emails. I should totally reward myself with . . . um . . . more work!
- I have posted: Pants http://bit.ly/d7rSDq
- It's 4:30 and I'm about ready to just call it a day. I cannot get motivated to do anything. Soooo bored!
I stayed up late to be able to be one of the first to tell you HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
And, d'uh, I love you you gluttonous fuck.
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Also, if you're going to gorge on an entire cake, at least make it a Portillo's Chocolate Cake.
PS : I think there is supposed to be a comma between those two "you"'s up there. Meh.
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Happy Birthday, love! I hope it's an awesome one. After all, there's nothing better than grocery store birthday cake
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@Amanda, Portillo's Chocolate Cake is WAY better than grocery store cake. Just sayin'….
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Enjoy! Isn't anyone throwing you a Sadie Hawkins or anything?
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Happy Birthday!
As my gift to you, imagine me kissing girls in front of you.
(That's all Patrick gets as bday gifts.)
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I'll do it! Just make sure you have 911 on speed dial for the diabetic coma I'm sure I'd lapse into afterward!
Happy Happy Birthday to the 33rd power!
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happy cake eating day. i will celebrate your birthday by having some leftover tiramisu my italian neighbor made for my birthday yesterday.
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Happy birthday Adam !
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Oh, a good excuse for me to eat something sweet and pastry like! (I can't eat a whole grocery store cake anymore.)
Happy birthday!!!
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Happy Birthday, Adam.
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Happiest of birthdays–and watch those portion sizes! But enjoy every bite too!
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Happy Birthday!
I'm eating ice cream.
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I'm with you!
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Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday, Adam!!! Did you mention cake?!
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My weakness is cake, so hand over a fork! Happy 33rd! xo
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I live in Seattle, so it's still January 25th. You'll just have to wait til my post goes up sometime after 1AM.
I already ate my cake. I could eat yours too. I have the technology. NOM.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Happy Birthday! Sometimes I order a Publix chocolate cake with peanut butter buttercream frosting, just because. So I'm with you.
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Happy birthday! Have a great day. Enjoy yourself.
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Oooh I love riddles!!!
Is it…. Um…. Give me a hint!
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I'm in – pass the cake!
Happy Birthday
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Happy birthday, Adam!
If given the choice between cake or death, choose death.
I mean, cake.
Man, I hope you didn't announce your choice before reading to the end of this comment.
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Happy Birthday!
XOXOX
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Happy birthday! GIMME CAKE!
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Happy Birthday! I don't normally do cake, but I'll make an exception. Especially if it's grocery store cake! The best cake ever!
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Happy Birthday!
Of course I'll eat cake with you. Grocery store birthday cakes are the best for birthday comas.
We'll be naked though, right?
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Happy Birthday mister! Hope you enjoy every drop of your 4 oz!
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Happy Birthday Adam! I will seek out cake in your honour
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Happy Birthday!
I'd share the cake, but it'd be stale by the time it got here, so eat up for me.
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I'm totally in, dude. Cake is therapy. I mean that in a totally decadent way, not a promoting-food-issues kind of way.
Happy Birthday.
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happy birthday Adam. As long as it's not chocolate I'm with you. I like pink champagne though.
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Fuck yeah. Gimme cake! (As long as it's not chocolate…in which case I'd just eat the frosting anyway.)
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I vaguely remember 33. Grocery store birthday cake? Dude. You totally deserve better than that.
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ugh, you are YOUNGER than me.
Have you're friggin cake, and eat it too!
Happy Birthday xo
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ugh, you are YOUNGER than me.
Have your friggin cake, and eat it too!
Happy Birthday xo
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One bite of cake, one bite of ice cream….
Happy Birthday, kiddo.
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I could get on board with that. Happy Birthday!
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I'll bring the spoons!
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Happy Birthday, Adam! I will join you for cake.
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I am glad that you were born. How 'bout that?
I hope you enjoyed your cake and got to eat it, too.
xoxo
b.
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happy birthday dude!
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Yay! I'm sure to win our bet that way! Course, that might make you have the trots. This could backfire.
Happy Birthday! Hope you don't shit yourself!
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I'm in. I did it for my birthday on the 19th. Should have shared but I'm a bitch when it comes to sharing a chocolate cake …
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Happy birthday you sexy sexy man.
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Enjoy your day! Happy birthday! Publix has great specialty cakes. Yum. Virtual calories are the easiest to lose- you made it too easy to say yes!
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Happy Birthday, my other son!
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I'll shove several ounces of crap into my mouth today and think of you being born. So, basically, I'll be chewing while thinking of you crowning in your mom's vagina.
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Happy Birthday! I already had a truckload of cupcakes. That counts, right?
;-)
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Happy Birthday, m'dear! You enjoy every single bite of that birthday cake! Wish I could help you celebrate.
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Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday.
However, is it just me or did you not say something about eating too much + your lap band = prolific vomit? Uh I'll pass on the pukapalooza.
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Does it have chocolate frosting? Chocolate cake NEEDS chocolate frosting. Happy Birthday!
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I'm with Sheila on the Portillo's Chocolate Cake! Come on up and we'll treat!
Happy birthday, man.
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Send me your address and I'll come eat cake with you! Seriously.
And Happy Birthday, for the 3rd time! (posted to your facebook and Twitter too, heh)
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Happy Birthday, boss.
*snicker*
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WOOHOO for 33! That's a great year! At least it was for me. Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy your cake.
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Happy Birthday! Damn it man, now I want cake
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¡Feliz cumpleaños!
Joyeux anniversaire!
Alles gute zum Geburtstag!
Buon compleanno!
I think that should cover it
Have a good one, friend!
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Happy Birthday handsome!
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Happy birthday, Adam. I hope you have a great day, one full of love, laughter, and cake. Oh, you've already got the cake part covered. Good job, man!
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Happy Birthday Adam! Hope your day is fantastic. Enjoy that cake!!
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Dude, I would totally risk illness and ignore my celiac's for quality birthday cake!!! Maybe at 4 oz at a time I could handle it! Happy birthday man!
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Happy Birthday fucker.
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HB Adam
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hang on, let me get my cake eating pants on
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happy birthday, sweetheart. big hugs and big kisses. wish I could actually be there to partake in your yummy grocery store cake.
much love xoxo
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Happy Birthday Adam. I don't have any cake here at work, but I will eat these chocolate Pop Tarts in your honor.
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Happy Birthday Adam, have a good one.
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Happy Birthday! Did somebody say CAKE?
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Happy birthday stud!
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Happy birthday!!
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All about cake!
Happy Birthday… wishing all the best this year.
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I like how you take a week away from blogging, return with some maudlin bit, and get well over 150 comments for it. If you were a better writer, you could be the next Dooce. :p
Oh, I meant happy birthday.
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Is this a Publix cake? With pudding in the middle? And buttercream frosting? Save me some!
Happy Birthday!
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Happy 33!!!! welcome to the club… too bad I don't get to stay in the club too much longer
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Happy Birthday!
Did you get that social security check yet? Must be nice…
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Happy Birthday!!!
xoxox
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MMM birthday cake! I'm with ya! In fact, if I weren't so broke I would go buy a cake and eat it in your name. But, pay day isn't til Thursday and I don't think Matt would let me buy a whole cake just to eat by myself
what a pooey.
But anyways, know that I am eating a cake with you in theory, just not literally. My ass would not forgive me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
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Today is the day that only the most awesome people are born. Have an amazing day.
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Me me me me me!!!!!! Oh, I could so eat an entire cake. In fact, I have been known to eat entire large pizzas from Pizza Hut, too. It's a true story. Maybe we should have an 'eat-off' at BlogHer '10? What do you say? You game? I'd kick your ass!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're way funnier than I am, and you're younger than me, too! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Happy birthday! [something witty about cake]!! I'm sick today and my brain isn't working like I want it to. Best wishes, young man.
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o happy day!
you were the first thing i thought of this morning.
i'm so thankful you were born!
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Happy Birthday. I can't eat cake 4oz at a time with you because that sugar would be me in a coma, but I will do a shot tonight in your honor.
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Happy Birthday from Big D! (nope, not my bra size)
Kidding aside, hope you have a great day Adam!
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So, it's your birthday?
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Dammit. I'm old enough to be your mother.
Mmmmmm. Forbidden Cake.
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Happy Birthday!
I WISH I could share that cake with you.
Enjoy!!
xoxo
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Happy Birthday Adam- I hope it is wonderful.
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Happy Birthday Adam!!
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Best way to enjoy a birthday cake…slowly! Enjoy.
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Happy Birthday Adam. I must admit though I thought you were much older Hmmmm
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Happy birthday!
In lieu of cake I was thinking of getting you something else. But your blog will probably filter out comments with links in them. So — do a YouTube search of "walrus" and "fellatio." (Although I'd be shocked if you haven't already seen this one.)
You know, maybe cake would have been a better idea…
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Wishing you a year of peace, joy, love and luck. And cake.
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Happy Birthday Adam!
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Happy Birthday, Adam.
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Happy birthday Adam. Wishing you only good things for the coming year.
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Happy Birthday, Adam! I have a huge sweet tooth, so I'll go for any excuse to eat candy. I'll eat some cake over here in recognition of your day!
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Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday.
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Happy Fucking birthday old man. Cake huh. That will shoot a hole in your diet. Why don't you eat something with no calories… I akm sure you could think of someone.. er I mean something sorry..
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Happy birthday! I'll take wine over cake so you're welcome to my share!
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I'm still trying to work of the last 30+ years of birthday cake off my ass so I will celebrate your birthday with 4 little ounces of vodka at a time, ok?
Hope you have a great 33rd birthday 4 little ounces at a time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM!!!
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you're finally as old as me. enjoy your cake. i wish i had a cake. now i'm gonna go make a chocolate cake. damn.
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Happy Birthday! I tried to eat an entire sheet cake one birthday when I was living the single ladies life and the consequences were rather dire the next time I visited the ladies room.
Just sayin'
S
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What? No balls? I thought I was getting balls. I've become accustomed to the balls, and now.. Did you say cake?
Happy birthday, Adam. Enjoy your day, and your cake.
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There is nothing better than grocery store birthday cake. Except: grocery store bithday cake NAKED. Enjoy it!
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There is nothing better than grocery store birthday cake. Except: grocery store birthday cake NAKED. Enjoy it!
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Fuck I'm old. And on that note, Happy Berfday!!!
<3 Stacey
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Feliz Cumpleanos, Amigo!
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Happy birthday! No Cake for me, but I'll find something sweet to have on your behalf.
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Happy Birthday! Here's to a new year!
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Happy birthday!
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お誕生日はおめでとうございます。
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Happy B-day!!
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Happy Birthday! I made cake just for you! (well I made it for me, but how about it eat in your honor?)
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Mmmmmmmmm, cake! Oh, and Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday!!! Hope it is a great and wonderful pantsless day!
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Happy Birthday Adam! My teeth started aching at the thought of all that sugar, but, hey, it's your day. Do what makes you happy:)
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Happy Birthday!
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First time here, and what timing!!
Happy Birthday!! You sure are one popular fellow!
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Happy Birthday! Now, I have to say, don't eat that crappy cake. Go get yourself a REAL cake from a decent bakery. You deserve a good cake!
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After you finish it and are on a sugar high, you should do a "Clearly You're Retarded" show, that would be kooky.
Happy Birthday.
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Happy birthday!
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Happy Birthday! Enjoy the cake.
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I'll help out by eating all the frosting. Happy day and cheers, Adam.
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Oy! Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday, Adam. XXXOOO
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Hope your day has been fabulous…..is the cake all gone?
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Happy Birthday Adam.
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Happy bday!! I have enjoyed reading you for the last two years, so there's a ((hug)) for you! Enjoy the cake, all four ounces at a time!!
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If you don't eat it faster, I'm totally going to finish it for you.
Happy birthday, baby!
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Happy Birthday to you!!! Yikes, and I just realized I'm almost two years older than you. Ick!!
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Happy birthday you young whippersnapper, you.
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Happy belated Birthday!
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Happy birthday! You know, I've always had a weird little crush on you. If I were 10 years younger …. never mind. I'd still be gay.
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I had cake last night!
Happy belated, since I seem to have totally FORGOTTEN all about it.
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Happy belated Birthday! I would love some cake. I want my own though!
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Happy belated birthday! My internets was broken, otherwise I would have been here.
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i'm late but no less sincere.
happy birthday. 4 oz at a time.
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