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The things I’ve learned from Hilly

Yesterday, a friend went home. After almost a year here, Hilly is driving back to California, another chapter in her life over.

A year or two ago, I argued that you can’t learn something from everyone. I think I’ve grown a bit as a person since then, and I’m not ashamed to admit that maybe I was wrong. (Although, nobody tell her. She’ll be insufferable.) I revise my earlier opinion to say that you should always be able to take something away from your interaction with any person. And Hilly’s just not any person – she’s a force to be reckoned with. I’m going to miss her, and I hope that the next leg of journey gives her some of the happiness and deep deep dicking towards which she’s been striving. In the meantime, all I have to remember her are the things I’ve learned (well, that and all the household stuff she gave me and the mattress and box spring):

  • The word “douche” is very versatile and can be used in any capacity. For example, you could say “That douchetastic douchey douchecock needs to go douche his motherdouchin’ ass.”
  • When you have people who are important to you, you can love them without having to defend every thing they do.
  • Life is America.
  • It takes buckets of strength to live alone for the first time in many years without falling apart.
  • Splash Mountain should be ridden over and over again.
  • There is a right way and a wrong way to take a photo of yourself.
  • The sound of a vibrator will bring your cat running.
  • There’s no such thing as too far to drive for a good sandwich.
  • You can be almost 40 and have the heart and soul of a 20 year old.
  • Everything in California is more awesome than anything in shitty Florida. (Except the economy and earthquakes, but shhhh. Oh, and of course, me and Britt and Faiqa.)
  • You know it’s funny when someone snorts.
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49 Replies to “The things I’ve learned from Hilly”

  1. martymankins

    I actually already knew about the Splash Mountain and the vibrator/cat connection (well, not me personally, but my… well, err… you know… shit!)

    And if you are talking about Earl of Sandwich, well, I have yet to experience that.

  2. bo

    This post is not unlike Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: It seems to be about Ferris (Hilly), but really it’s about Cameron (Adam).

    So who was it that finally taught you that you can learn from people?

    Also: It takes buckets of strength to admit you were wrong. And to push your dad’s Ferrari through the window.

  3. NYCWD

    Isn’t it amazing how one person can effect our vernacular so acutely?

    I totally felt like a douchehose as a tear rolled down my eye while reading this. I’m all doucheklmept now.

    You can chatdouche amongst yourselves now…

  4. lydia

    I would love to know the right way and the wrong way to take a picture of yourself. Wait, no. I don’t need to know the wrong way. That’s the way I do it EVERY time.

  5. Nenette

    Love. You are totally feeding my budding Hilly girl-crush, dude. When I grow up, I wanna be just like her.
    Although this Canadian is a little “nuh-uh” about the whole “Life is America” thing. πŸ˜‰


  6. sam {temptingmama}

    I wholeheartedly agree with: When you have people who are important to you, you can love them without having to defend every thing they do. but this? Life is America. Duuude? If you said North America, then maybe…

    Wishing Hilly a safe trip home.

    Wishing you the buckets of strength. Douchebag.


  7. Poppy

    “It takes buckets of strength to live alone for the first time in many years without falling apart.”

    I guess you could have learned this from me if I’d been more verbal during that time. hmm.

    Glad that Hilly leaves such a positive impact on you.

  8. Hilly

    Adam, thank you so much for these awesome things! I love that you have taken somethhing from me because I think that we all do whenever someone comes into our lives. I know that I have many things I’ve learned from knowing you as well.

    Also, 38 is NOT almost 40, douchebag. Well, technically but man, what the fish?

  9. Hilly

    Oh also, to all of my Canadian friends (and Becky)…the term Life is America is not about me thinking that America is the meaning of life…uh, mostly. I was talking about being free to do whatever I want because you know, I’m grown and how I embrace that freedom and diversity and and…America is freedom and diversity. Therefore, life is America! See? It’s an adjective!

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