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How to make everything more awesome

Without the genius addition of a $, Ke$ha would just be “Kesha”, a trashy blonde girl with very little actual musical talent. Instead, Ke$ha is a music sensation! That simple substitution of a punctuation symbol for a letter has been used in the geek world for a long time. It’s known as “leet speak”. And, once again, something geeky is being used to make the world more awesome.

I think that we should take really shitty things and make them more palatable with leet speak. It could revolutionize the world, just like the iPhone. Take a kid who hates spinach, for example. Do you think maybe he’d eat “$P!NACH”? Totally – the exclamation point and dollar sign substitution will fool him into thinking he’s eating something AWESOME. Here are some other things that we could bling up with some punctuation:

  • Having trouble making ends meet? Don’t worry if you have to declare B4NKRUP7CY – it’s super fun!.
  • Male and over the age of 30? Don’t forget to go in for your annual awesome PR0$TAT3 3XAM.
  • It’s okay that you got an F. It is cool to be a PHA!LUR3!
  • Did last night’s one-night stand leave you burning and itching? Be proud of your H3RP3$.
  • No biggie about your car accident – revel in the fact that your leg had to be A/\/\PUT4T3D!
  • Did last night’s one-night stand leave you a little pregnant? Just go have an awesome 4B0RT!0N.
  • Been hanging out in dirty hot tubs? It’s okay – it’s only a Y3A$T INPH3C7!0N.
  • Is your TV remote broken? Don’t be upset that it’s stuck on the DI$N3Y CH4NN3L.
  • Did you wake up with a fat hairy guy slapping you in the face with his penis? It’s only 4V17ABL3!
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65 Replies to “How to make everything more awesome”

  1. Blondefabulous

    Th $ sign is actually an homage to her roots. Kesha grew up very poor. Apparently as a child she and her mother were so poor, dog food was an only option sometimes, and now that she has the potential to make millions off of tone deaf teens and 20 somethings, she has put the $ sign in her name. Meh…..

    I have often thought of going as Blobdefabulou$, but if you’re not really rich it’s just being a douche.

  2. cat

    Ha ha! I used to sign off as c@… I thought I was so clever!

    Re: Ke$ha: I heard she was supposed to be in a reality show with Paris Hilton years back when Nicole Richie left, so I’m assuming she’s rich…? Money can’t buy talent, but it will buy enough PR to get people to believe you are.

  3. Poppy

    I think she leeted her name so you’d know to pronounce the Kesh part like Tesh rather than leash. Didn’t work for me, I still didn’t catch on until I heard a lot of radio and TV people say her name correctly.

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