I originally had a post half-written from the point of view of Tilikum, the killer whale who killed Dawn Brancheau, a senior trainer at Sea World, yesterday. It was a diary told from the orca’s perspective, showing a building resentment towards the trainer thanks to perceived slights and insults.
But then I reconsidered and thought that maybe I was being a little insensitive. I am a fan of the maxim that funny trumps all, but all this woman did was her job. It’s one thing to find the humor in something, but what’s the porpoise of it all if I’m hurting someone at the same time? Especially since this was a death that was witnessed by her coworkers and an entire grouper of spectators.
I know it may seem fishy that I’m having a change of heart when I’m not usually known for being so tactful. However, this is a local story and I didn’t want to appear to be baiting anyone with a sharky sarcastic post. Additionally, this woman walrus not in the public spotlight and didn’t deserve a post a trout her death when it doesn’t appear to be anything other than an accident.
On the flipper side, these are dangerous wild animals. They’re called killer whales for a reason, and fin order to survive around them, one has to be vigilant at all times. I think it might be easy for a trainer who had been working with them for so long to start sealing them as being friendly orca domesticated, and it’s events like this that act as a reminder to always be clam, cautious and never treat wild animals caviarly.
My condolences go out tuna the family. And maybe once this isn’t so fresh, I’ll be able to write a funny post about it without seeming like too much of a basshole.
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Twitter: thegoddesscher
says:
pretty funny stuff coming from a jumbo shrimp.
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@CP, that’s a whale of an insult!
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basshole.
WIN.
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@Miss, don’t you mean “FIN”?
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*groan*
I just can’t believe they are posting pics of her blanket covered body. That and the fact that a killer whale who has 2 corpses under his belt was front and center during a show. Why wasn’t it put in a isolation tank away from humans? Grrrrr.
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@GeekByMarriage, it really has become a spectackle.
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Twitter: GingerSnaps
says:
Rolling on the floor laughing my bass off!!!
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@Ginger, it’s a new acronym- ROTFLMBO!
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Twitter: mrlady
says:
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ADAM?
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@Mr Lady, I’m still me- you must have skimmed it! Read it again, more carefully.
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Twitter: lceel
says:
“a(sic) isolation tank away from humans?” You mean, like, the ocean?
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@lceel, He would not survive in the ocean. He’s been in captivity since 1983 FFS.
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@lceel, Sea World actually does try to preserve the species, too, so I respect what they’re doing and don’t consider it to be the equivalent of a zoo. They do a lot of essential research, conservation, and preservation.
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Twitter: thepsychobabble
says:
I had to re-read this 2x. After the first time, I was all like “How much have I had? No, I’m not THAT fucked up.” then I re-read it the 1st time, and thought “Good, I’m not THAT fucked up.” And then the third time I laughed out loud. But in a really guilty way, because that would be an awful, awful way to go.
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@thepsychobabble, guilty laughs are the best.
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this post is made of WIN
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@bluepaintred, and smelly fish parts.
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i laughed all the way through this. loved it.
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@Maddie Marie, thanks.
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Ha.. that was great.. uhm your post, not the incident.
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@Lin, yeah, you’d have to have no sole to think the incident was great.
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Man, you might want to slip and allegedly in there somewhere, otherwise you may flounder.
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@Ian, I was trying hard to put a flounder in there somewhere, too. Heh.
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You’re eelvil.
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@Jennifer, ha! Nice one.
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My first thought was, “My sediments exactly”, but that doesn’t fit.
Too early!
Otherwise, whale done.
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@Sybil Law, tanks.
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Twitter: bobutler
says:
I get the ocean that is was hard for you, taking the high road with your Oscar-Wilde-like wordplay. Whale done, though.
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@bo, Sybil beat you to it!
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HAHA! Nice job.
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@extra ordinary me, I try.
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Twitter: LeSombre
says:
I thought this was out of Char-acter for you, I definitely Smelt that something was wrong. At least you didn’t call the trainer a Croaker and a Morwong. Otherwise, I would have Pickerel fight with you.
Barracudos to you!
Amago back to my little corner of the web now.
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@LeSombre, wow. You know way too much about fish. Must be a Canadian thing. Heh.
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Twitter: LeSombre
, February 25th, 2010: 9:17 AM
@Avitable, pretty much all my fish knowledge comes from Animal Crossing: City Folks.
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Shows with wild animals named “killer” anything are probably not smart. You don’t see anyone doing shows with Killer Bees do you?
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@Clint, oh, I’m sure that’s been pitched for the networks because of the sweet potential.
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Twitter: mapsgirl
says:
That was very punny. Since this was the whale’s 3rd strike, will he be swimming with the fishes?
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@mapsgirl, they might just give her an extra blowhole.
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I thought you were being nice and sweet at first and then I got to the joke about sharky and flipper and thought oh no you didn’t! Iwas wanted to say you lobster the pot! Well done!
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@Marta, I do indeed lobster the pot.
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Thank you Adam.
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@A favourite Sister, for? Being awesome?
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So you did this just for the halibut??
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@trishk, ha! Very nice.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Dude, what’s with all the typos in this post? You’re better than this.
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@muskrat, I know. I let you down.
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Twitter: leeleykeel
says:
some of the words are wrong. it eely screwed up my brain.
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@leel, heh.
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The incident left me bluegill, but your angle suckered me in and was betta good. I bowfin to you, Adam.
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@Janer, tanks.
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The flipper joke was worth the whole read.
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@always home and uncool, that was my favorite.
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I shellfishly look forward to when you coral the courage for the orca’s POV post, perhaps with an additional starfishing role in dolphin porn.
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@Ren, ooh, shellfishly – how did I miss using that one?
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Adam, I was floundering for an appropriate response but could only come up with Ha Ha.
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@lydia, if you regrouper you’ll be able to come up with something, I’m sure!
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Twitter: perpstu
says:
I got to “walrus” blinked and had to go back and read the whole thing again. It’s a terrible tragedy, but this post made me giggle a tiny bit.
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@Karin, I’m glad you caught what I was doing!
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ha ha, caviarly was my favorite.
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@cat, mine too.
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
Sooooooooooo when I first read this early this morning, I didn’t get the puns. I re-read it and giggled to myself a little bit. AND NOW I am consoling a friend who was friends with this lady.
And feel like an asshole for giggling. It’s always funny til it hits too close to home.
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@Sheila (Charm School Reject), have your friend read this post. It’s not insensitive to her death, is it?
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A coworker asked me yesterday if her death had been an accident and it was all I could do to resist the “on porpoise” pun. Thank you for satisfying the devil in me.
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@Diana, you’re eelcome.
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I only wish my office wasn’t so quiet so my laughing wouldn’t seem so awkward! Clever and epic. Sorry I have no fish name drops to add.
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@Stefanie, tanks!
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Sea? I knew you had a sole.
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@Faiqa, ooh, nice one. You win.
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So…I decided to comment since I usually just “lurk”. Wanted to just say your posts make me laugh and well…smile. I “found” you through reading Hilly, Kath and Britt’s through the years. I almost posted when I found out we shared the same birthday, LOL…anyway, thanks for being you and making all of us laugh with your wonderful sense of humor.
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haha! This was funny. I wasn’t sure where you going with this, but then the post tuna’d a corner and you had me hooked.
Bummer about her death, though. I guess now they’ll have to pick up the phone and scallop another trainer to come and take her place.
–joe mason
orono, me
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I can’t believe you didn’t work in ‘sleeps with the fishes…’ or did I miss it?
I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I’ve been needing a good laugh – this cold, winter weather is killing me….
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Although it’s a bit on the “politically incorrect” side, I betta you won’t get too many people who won’t laugh.
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Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
It’s tuna bad that it happened, but hopefully they won’t put the whale down. I know a lot of people are going all KILLTHEBEAST! on this one, but it’s just an animal.
Great post, though. You’ve got me hooked!
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otter than an accident.
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