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40 is the new 20.

Dear Old Lady Shauna,

Today is your 40th birthday. Well, not for your boobs, but for the rest of you. And while you may feel old and decrepit and like you already have one foot in the grave, it’s not true! Aging is the natural way of life, but it’s understandable that you may worry about being less desirable or less attractive after the age of 40. I want to help you get rid of that fear, because I am a giver. Seriously – the Pope needs to authorize Saint Avitable posthaste.

So, in order to make you realize that 40 isn’t the end and that suicide isn’t the way to go just yet, here are 40 people and things that are 40 or older that I’d totally rub my nuts on:

  1. Demi Moore
  2. Jason Bateman
  3. Planet of the Apes
  4. Dr. No
  5. Cate Blanchett
  6. A giant redwood
  7. Jennifer Aniston
  8. Uranus
  9. The Internet
  10. Marisa Tomei
  11. Lauren Graham
  12. Superman
  13. The Producers
  14. Bill Cosby
  15. Sherlock Holmes
  16. Julia Louis Dreyfus
  17. The Three Musketeers
  18. Blueberry Pie
  19. Mashed Potatoes
  20. Las Vegas
  21. Batman
  22. Elisabeth Shue
  23. Stacey Dash
  24. Don Quixote
  25. Scrabble
  26. Ninjas
  27. Pepperoni Pizza
  28. Socks
  29. Kristin Davis
  30. Courteney Cox Arquette
  31. “Unchained Melody”
  32. Where The Wild Things Are
  33. Hershey’s
  34. George Clooney
  35. Sandra Bullock
  36. “Sweet Caroline”
  37. The telephone
  38. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
  39. Monopoly
  40. Vaginas

So, see? You’re in good company! Happy birthday, Shauna Glenn!

24 thoughts on “40 is the new 20.”

  1. All right, who’s been messing with my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? And how come they smell like… ADAM!!!


    And happy birthday to the lovely Shauna, with whom I am not personally acquainted. Just judging by the above photo: Mrowr!

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