You may have seen from the news that a serial killer who was recently given the death penalty for murdering four women and a child between 1977 to 1979, Rodney Alcala, was actually a winning bachelor on “The Dating Game” in 1978.
While the media has picked up on a few of his answers as being relevantly creepy (“What’s your best time?” “Nighttime.”) and predictive, I have an actual transcript that shows his serial killer nature even more explicitly:
Question: Bachelor #1, we go on our second date. I don’t like the beach or the movies. Where would you take me?
Answer: I’d blindfold you and drive you somewhere secluded where just the two of us could enjoy a very special time.
Question: Bachelor #1, if we got into an argument and I told you to leave, what would you do?
Answer: Oh no, we can’t have that. I don’t even let Mother talk to me in that tone. I’m not a naughty boy and don’t deserve to be punished!
Question: Bachelor #1, what do you look for in a girl that you want to date?
Answer: Weak arms and no long fingernails.
Question: Bachelor #1, what is the most appealing part of your personality?
Answer: It depends whether or not I’ve given into the rage or appeased it with a sacrifice.
Question: Bachelor #1, it’s our fourth date, and I’ve invited you into my home. What base would you try to get to?
Answer: Fourteenteen red.
Question: Bachelor #2, why should I choose you?
Answer: Well, first of all, because I’m not a fucking serial killer. I mean, c’mon, have any of you even been listening to Bachelor #1? He’s creeping me out with the drooling and Charles Manson hair and the way he keeps touching himself. I’m telling you, if you go with him, you will die.
Question: Bachelor #1, same question.
Answer: Because you and I would fit together like a glove and a ball, or like a skin suit and a person wearing said skin suit.
(Bachelor #2): SEE??!??
I’d transcribe more, but that’s when he pulled the dead cat out from his jacket and began to swing it around his head by the tail and called it his Jesus Helicopter Cat. You can’t get much more explicit than that, people.
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Nada
Ways that Larry King can go out with a bang
Hahahaha!
Now I see how that guy got laid. Out.
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Twitter: whyrustalkingme
says:
Now that’s funny shit!
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Here I thought you wanted an answer to the question.
It’s a toss up between the Macy’s dressing room or my ex-MIL’s backyard (when she went out to run a quick errand).
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Oh my giddy aunt. I can’t stop laughing. I don’t know how you do it, but thank you!
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
In the butt, Bob.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
, March 10th, 2010: 10:37 AM
@B.E. Earl,
oh my fuck, did that make me laugh.
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Twitter: thegoddesscher
says:
In your backyard at the Halloween party last year. LMAO
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@CP,
You realize this means Avitable is gonna set up surveillance now, right? He’s always looking for porn to add to his collection.
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@CP, Did you really have sex at the Halloween party???
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C’mon, those murder were way back in the seventies. There were bell-bottoms back then. Surely the statute of limitations has run out by now. (if not, I need to erase a few blog posts)
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Chuck Barris knew how to pick ‘em.
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This cues me to tell my favourite joke of all time;
Peter Sutcliffe (a well known serial killer of our isles) takes his girlfriend to the cinema, forever the gent he buys her popcorn and puts it on her lap. However getting a little horny he feels through the pop corn toward the maiden’s crotch, to which she says; “You can cut that out.” To which Peter retorts; “I will, after I cave your fucking head in.”
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
, March 10th, 2010: 10:39 AM
@Ian,
oh shit, that is just so wrong. and fucking funny! thanks for sharing.
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Good one! I immediatly thought of what your friend, B.E. Earl had to say. Ever seen that clip? Oh MY! Good shit right there….
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
poor bachelor number two. bet he feels terrible knowing someone picked a murderer over him.
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Twitter: Faiqa
, March 10th, 2010: 11:44 AM
@hello haha narf, Some girls just loooove the bad boys.
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
I can see why Bachelor #1 won. He just seems like so much more of a fun guy than that stick in the mud Bachelor #2.
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Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
Some women are turned on by Jesus Helicopter Cats!
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
I don’t see what’s wrong with bachelor #1′s answers. Don’t hate the player because you don’t like the game.
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Wow, Bachelor #1 is so hot.
ps – In the Anechoic Chamber in the Engineering Building in University.
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I think it’s interesting that she refused to go on a date with him after she picked him. I wonder what made her change her mind!
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
I was such a stupid, naive 20-something that I probably would have picked Bachelor #1.
And ended up at the bottom of a river.
Go me!
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