Mr. Lady, who is not this person, turns the tender age of 35 today, which amazes me, because she is so wise in the ways of the world that I would have pegged her for at least 100.
I can’t remember if I’m allowed to say her real name or not, because she seems to vacillate between being public or private, so I’ll just call her Tits. Tits and I became friends because she got her passport stolen by an old lady in the bathroom while she was talking to Donald Sutherland. True story. Tanis texted me and asked me to call Tits to talk to her (Tanis was about to take off and had to turn her phone off). Always willing to talk on the phone, I called her and we spoke for a while until things had calmed down, and from that tiny seed sprouted a friendship.
So, the moral of the story is if you ever want to have a great friendship, track down Donald Sutherland.
Tits, I hope you have a wonderful birthday – you are a superb friend, an excellent mother, and a wise soul. I wish you nothing but lots of love and happiness today. And that is NOT a pencil in my pocket.
Enjoy this post? Try these:Look at boobs, raise money for breast cancer, and see what a gorilla’s shoulders look like
One Old Ass MotherFaiqa
mr. lady sure don’t like a mr. to me.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Are you going to do this for me on June 7? Cool.
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Happy Birthday, Tits!!!
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
she is truly one of the awesome, most sincere and lovely people i know. i wish she was my neighbour. happy birthday, tits.
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No. I WAS talking to Donald Sutherland. Tits was just drooling over him. And the old lady stole her passport as Shannon was wiping her ass crack.
Get the facts straight dumbass.
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happy birthday, tits!!! you know I love you to bits. you’re truly yum.
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Twitter: mrlady
says:
You are the greatest.
The end.
Thanks for still being my friend after I had a nervous breakdown in your ear.
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Twitter: mrlady
says:
Also, you thought I was 100 because my tits hang so fucking low.
Which, friends, is where “tits” came from. I’m all National Geo up in this motherfucker.
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I dunno Adam, I kinda pictured you as being a tighty whitey kinda guy, but I can be cool and hip about this.
Unless your panties are thongs.
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Twitter: habanerogal
says:
Who wouldn’t want some of that hawtness ? She is a lovely lass and deserves all the love she gets from the interwebs people. Ironic that a Canadian actor was the cause of all of her airport misery. We want You back in Canada Shannon, that is all
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not that Invasion of the Body Snatchers Donald Sutherland though. he will point at you and let the other aliens know
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Pencil in your pocket? Lucky you. Women usually think I’m packing a Tic-Tac.
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I’m still confused about why Donald Sutherland was in the ladies room.
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Twitter: mrlady
, March 20th, 2010: 1:37 PM
@Capricorn Cringe, I hate to be that person who links to their posts in someone else’s comments, but you really need the whole story. It’s quite epic.
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Twitter: GrandeMocha
says:
Are your panties pink? I always thought you’d be a comando guy.
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And here from the title of this post I was thinking it would be all about ME.
Happy birthday to Tits anyway.
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Twitter: Zakary
says:
Happy Birthday, Tits.
You are my most favorite Pisces evah.
(Actually you are on the cusp…dun, dun, dun.)
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Happy birthday, Mr Lady!
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Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
Wow, Mr. Lady is hot! Happy birthday!
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Twitter: bugginword
says:
Those glasses are fantastic. I really want to lick them. Can you use someone’s birthday as an excuse to do that kind of thing?
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Damn! Look at those eyes!
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Awwh happy birthday Tits! I mean, Mr. Lady
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
sorry i missed the actual day, but i hope it was happy, tits!
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