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Didn’t we save the Earth last year during Earth Hour?

Last year, lots of people who didn’t want to affect any real change but wanted to feel as though they had participated in Earth Hour, turning off their lights and other environmentally unfriendly devices for one hour. I did my own part.

This year, from 8:30 PM until 9:30 PM, they’ll be doing it again. And in support, I thought I’d offer five suggestions of ways that you too can make a difference:

  1. Hairspray and other aerosols can be very bad for the ozone layer, so the only way to be environmentally friendly is to empty all of your aerosol cans immediately by dispersing them into the air.
  2. The fewer endangered species we have, the better. If we can kill the remaining alligators, pandas, and bald eagles, we can reduce the number of endangered species in the world, which will make us all feel better about ourselves, which helps the Earth.
  3. Using your air conditioner requires a lot of electricity, which causes the power plants to release a lot of chemicals into the air and the water. Try just opening your refrigerator and freezer doors and leaving them open all the time instead.
  4. Having your lights on just wastes electricity unless you’re reading. Try keeping all your lights off and lighting a tire in each room instead. Tires burn for a long time and can provide plenty of light.
  5. Disposable diapers are bad for the environment, so instead, buy diapers that are made from cotton handpicked by kids in China and shipped by freighters directly to your door, and then wash them with a heavy chemical detergent in your washing machine.

Happy Earth Hour!

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20 Replies to “Didn’t we save the Earth last year during Earth Hour?”

  1. Kristin

    This made me think of some billboard signs around town about a year or two ago, encouraging people to donate some money to whatever Save-The-Planet organization. I’m trying to remember it exactly, but it was something along the lines of “Abby has a block of clean air. How about you?” I thought the endangered animals one was appropriate – and so true…but you know darn well that if the pandas die out, crazy people will replace that with squirrels. And then we all go back to feeling miserable because of the poor squirrels.

  2. Blondefabulous

    With the metric ass-ton of manatees that died due to the cold this year, endangered species are already taking care of themselves courtesy of Al Fucking Gore’s non-existent global warming.

    Still, I’ll keep the fridge open for ya!

  3. muskrat

    An even better way to punctuate #5 is to encourage folks to enlist a service that comes to their doors to pick up said soiled cloth diapers, drives them off to a facility that cleans them, and then returns the clean diapers a day or so later. I learned about such services in some “expectant dad” book I read years ago. We just washed the damned things ourselves until we got sick of it and went disposable.

  4. Employee No. 3699

    Damn, that whole ‘earth hour’ must have passed me by. Was that during the whole spring forward, fall back time change? No? Guess I was too busy enjoying my outdoor hot tub that I keep heated to a comfy 104 degrees all Chicago winter long. Wha…conserve energy?

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