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Peeing outside

Yesterday I woke up at 7:45 and really had to pee. Like, morning wood had to pee. The problem with morning wood pee is that it has a tendency to be a bit messier, in my experience. There’s more risk of splatter and splashing, which totally goes against my recent cleaning habits.

So I went outside, bare-ass naked, in my fenced-in backyard and peed. There’s something so freeing and exhilarating about it. And while I’ve never had the occasion to pee in the snow, I can only imagine that it’s even better!

Is it just me? Or do other people enjoy the freedom of urination in the great outdoors?

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57 Replies to “Peeing outside”

      • Kellee

        @Avitable, Yes, eww! I don’t have a problem with bodily fluids or functions, but I certainly don’t find them anything in which to revel or find pride. I will never understand the male fascination with peeing on things in the great outdoors. Blech.

        I work in the construction industry – new construction mostly – where all of those ever so highly developed men feel free to just pee where they are stranding, e.g. in the corner of the partially framed house where they are standing. Still think it’s cool?

  1. Poppy

    When I was 8 years old and forgot my house keys I peed my pants on the front walk of my home. And then my mom’s boyfriend’s son came home 3 minutes later from high school and let me in. sigh.

  2. Sybil Law

    Um, that’s a man thing. I like toilets and toilet paper, thanks. (I’ve definitely peed outside a gazillion times, though. Just given a choice, I’d pick the inside.)

  3. Hockeymandad

    Peeing outside has a sense of doing some good for the Earth. It’s a common practice when golfing, but you have to choose the right spots. Peeing in the snow and leaving a message for the next passer by is fun. The best is just being able to pee wherever we want.

  4. MB

    The only time I get penis envy is when I’m out snowmobiling for the day and all the guys get to pee on a tree or write their name in the snow while I have to wait until we get to the next gas station. Lucky bastards!

  5. RW

    Used to do it after seeing a Sox game in the days of young and too stupid to “go” before leaving the park. We had a place in back of a small neighborhood grocery store. Then we came back one year and the grocery store was gone but was replaced by a mega food mart. We figured it was our pee that did that. Sort of helped it grow.

  6. ADW

    K peed outside of the McDonald’s drive thru last night because he could not hold it any longer. All I wanted was a Diet Coke and what I got was the Austin Powers un-cryogenically frozen 10 minute urination from a 5-year-old.

    He loved it.

  7. Kim

    There’s nothing exhilarating about having to squat and pee, whether it’s outdoors or indoors over a public toilet. Something always gets wet – my feet, my pants legs, and one time, the back of my pants. But I do recall a particularly pleasurable outdoor pee, when my kids were small and one of them accidentally locked us out of the house. We ran to the neighbor’s to call my now-former husband, but it turned out he was using a spare set of keys that day. But he came home, put me up on his shoulders and tried to hoist me in through the only unlocked window, 1 1/2 stories off the ground. I couldn’t reach it and I started to giggle. He started to laugh too, which made me laugh even harder. After 3 kids, I suppose my pelvis floor muscles had weakened, because then I started to pee. He and the kids’ horrified reaction made me laugh even harder. The more I laughed, the more I peed until I had completely emptied my bladder, soaking the back of his shirt from the neck down! He, of course, was utterly disgusted, but I still laugh when I remember!

  8. bo

    Peeing in the snow is cool, but mostly for the sound it makes. Aside from the usual whizzing sound, the snow melts rapidly and makes a cool almost-sizzling sound that’s louder than you’d imagine.

    • avatgardener

      @bo, Punch line from old joke – – – “it’s the Vice President’s pee but the First Lady’s handwriting”. Cracks me up when I think of it.

  9. cat

    It’s harder for girls to pee outside… so there’s absolutely nothing freeing about it!

    Maybe I’m paranoid, but aren’t you afraid google maps will catch you doing that?

  10. Elizabeth Kaylene

    Hahaha, @cat, “Google maps will catch you”! She’s right though. That would be too funny.

    I think it’s a guy thing, as it’s harder for us chicks to pee outside. It’s doable; I’ve done it a few times. It’s not really messy. It’s just tricky. Mike pisses outside all of the time. I never really thought about it as freeing; I just thought it was more convenience.

  11. Nat

    Dude, I had a German neighbour who used to walk around his yard naked. He was sure that no one could see in… he was wrong.

    I’m still scarred.

    Peeing outdoors, totally a guy thing.

  12. martymankins

    It’s not just you. While I may not pee in my own backyard, going camping, I’ll whizz anywhere where there’s not other campers belongings.

    Another place to pee outdoors: when you are leaving the bar and you can’t find a public restroom, a nice secluded tree next to a building will work just fine to relieve the pressure.

  13. KAF

    I like this website. I trully love to pee outside and will pee outside anytime, anywhere. I just need to be sure my neighbors cannot see me, but I like to see how far, long, or high and can shoot my urine stream. Peeing outside is GREAT!!!

  14. delmer

    I peed outside just the other night. It was late, I was on the porch and too lazy to go inside. I was blocked from my more-civilized neighbors by a fence and a garage.

    I’ve not written my name in the snow in 25 years or so.

  15. hello haha narf

    often i am naked in my yard. don’t care what the neighbors think.
    i love that you peed in your yard. in this new house (five years) i haven’t had to pee in the yard, but i did at the last one. and the apartment before that. and the one before that. and before that.
    yeah, i wait too long and get to the point where i have to go NOW and there is no possible way that i can do steps in order to get to the bathroom. fortunately i now have a bathroom in the basement which is easily accessible from the garage as well as a bathroom on the regular level (no steps from the backyard).
    so…you ever shit in your yard?

  16. KAF

    I love to go outside and pee long streams of urine. I like to see how far or high I can shoot my pee. I have been peeing outside since I was a boy of 12 years. I hope I can pee outside for the rest of my life. IT IS FUN TO PEE OUTSIDE!

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