About one month ago, I visited a new primary care physician who came highly recommended. I figured, since my current health insurance will only last as long as it takes for the divorce to be finalized, I need to take advantage of preventive care while I can. My new doctor is a prim and proper, very serious, short, tiny Indian woman who kind of reminded me of what Yoda would be like if it was an Indian doctor. She was also very well-informed, and suggested some treatment for a few ailments I had. After telling her that I was going through a divorce, had a lot of stress from work, and had days where I just stared at my computer screen but couldn’t bring myself to do any work, she suggested that I give the anti-depressant Lexapro a try for thirty days to see if that helped. She said that it sounded like I might have mild depression but that’s not uncommon after huge life changes. Then she prescribed blood work, gave me some Lexapro samples, and told me to come back in 30 days.
Cut to this past Friday.
“Hello, Mr. Avitable,” she said, carrying her laptop as she entered the room.
“How have you been feeling? Anything you need to talk about?”
“Well, yeah. I’ve been on the Lexapro for thirty days now.”
“And how has that been going?”
“Well, I’ve noticed a bit more motivation, but unfortunately, I’ve also noticed some lethargy and sexual side effects, too.”
“My therapist suggested Wellbutrin instead. She said that even if that’s a bit stronger, it might not have the same negative side effects.”
“Hm. Okay, well, tell me again what’s been going on.”
“Oh, well, usually, when I masturbate, it’s a piece of cake and I know I can reach orgasm in whatever time I need, like 5-10 minutes or so. But recently, it’s taking me like 45 minutes or more and even then I still can’t orgasm.”
“Umm, I was talking about why we put you on the Lexapro in the first place.”
So, anyone know a new primary care office I can go to, since I can’t show my face at this one ever again?