This will be the first April 22nd in 11 years that I haven’t given a gift. It’s the first time in over a decade that I haven’t had flowers delivered, sometimes multiple dozens to multiple locations. Tonight I won’t be going to a nice restaurant or throwing a party.
I go overboard on birthdays. I come up with nice gifts and throw lavish parties. I love to give, and the act of giving someone a gift is, in my opinion, one of life’s greatest pleasures. And when I know someone well, there is nothing more satisfying than coming up with a gift that they love but had no idea was coming.
It is taking every ounce of willpower I have not to buy a present, a plant, or even a birthday card. All I want to do is wrap something up and drop it off. I don’t need to see her get it or watch her open it. But everyone deserves to have their birthdays acknowledged. Everyone deserves a gift. And even at this point, I still want to give . . . something.
But I know that I can’t. It sends the wrong message. It gives hope where there can be none and breaks down walls that have been erected by necessity. All I can do is say that I know this won’t be your happiest birthday, but that I hope it’s not your worst. And I wish for you to have many birthdays that are amazing and happy and filled with gifts and loved ones and parties. I wish for this with all of my heart.