Women are whining about unequal pay again . . . sigh

CNN had an article yesterday bemoaning the fact that women still get lower pay when looking at 25 different careers. On first blush, it seems like this is a travesty, that women are still getting the shaft just because they don’t have a shaft of their very own. However, we all know that CNN is a puppet of the liberal elite, and it’s immediately obvious to me that they skewed their results to appeal to the plight of the penisally challenged.

This is an excerpt of their article, with the type of jobs that they were discussing:

Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,647
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,914

Chief executives
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,603
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,999

Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,509
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,875

Computer software engineers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,351
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,555

Computer and information systems managers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,260
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,641

If you’re fair and balanced like I am, you’ll immediately see the issue here. All of these jobs have one thing in common: Women shouldn’t be in these roles! I mean, c’mon, seriously? Let’s just examine them one by one:

Pharmacists – everyone knows that women don’t have a head for numbers and any type of job that requires counting pills is just going to be over their head.

Chief Executives – women can barely run a family without having a breakdown and threatening to kill someone. What shareholder in his right mind is going to want to support a CEO who can’t handle the stress?

Lawyers – a woman’s idea of clever arguing is to start crying until you feel bad and agree to whatever they want. And that won’t fly in a courtroom, even one with a woman judge.

Computer blah blah blah – it’s a computer. To women, that’s like some magical toy that they use to instant message and email with.

So, as you can see, CNN is so biased that it’s sad. It’s sad that journalism has reached such a state that they have to manufacture gender bias in the workforce. And in the interest of setting the record straight, I did my own research and discovered that the truth was exactly as I suspected. There are thousands of jobs where women receive equal, if not better, pay. Here are my findings:

Women – Median weekly earnings: $509.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $488.00

Exotic Dancers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,014.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $320.00

Hooters Servers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $736.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $0.83

Nannies or Au Pairs
Women – Median weekly earnings: $692.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $302.00

Porn Stars
Women – Median weekly earnings: $4,800.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $500.00

Auto Show Floor Models
Women – Median weekly earnings: $441.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $12.00

Women – Median weekly earnings: $40,000.00
Men – Median weekly earnings: $0.00

These numbers speak for themselves. When you strip away the liberal bias and look at the whole picture, you see that gender inequality is nothing but a myth perpetuated by pussies and hippies. And I’m happy to take on the burden of exposing the truth for all of you.

60 thoughts on “Women are whining about unequal pay again . . . sigh”

  1. This is outrageous. Outrageous, I tell you!

    Only $1,014 for exotic dancers per week? That’s criminal! Those girls are trying to put themselves through college and grad school and medical school, fer crissakes! They deserve so much more.

  2. Finally! A side-by-side view of man jobs vs. woman jobs. Women should stick to what they know which is cleaning, stripping, cooking, and parading around for the entertainment of men. Although I am a stay at home mom and have NEVER received a fucking paycheck so now that I know we’re supposed to be getting paid I am PISSED. I need to call HR about this.

  3. Much of this issue could be resolved if I could get enough signatures on my petition to repeal Suffrage. As Saul Bellow so aptly put it in “Herzog:” “Women! What do they want? They eat green salad and drink human blood.”

      1. Three marriages and tons of alimony:
        First Marriage: The “Whale” as she was commonly known, voluntarily gave sole custody of the kids to me. The side benefit, by the was, taking a 7 and 3 year old to Central Park – Women came to them rather than the guys with puppies. In any event, notwithstanding the “Whale’s” income, she got alimony.
        Second Marriage: Wife earning six figures at a major company. No children involved except mine. She got alimony.
        Third Marriage: I’m judgement proof.

        You be the judge.

  4. The beauty of a post like this isn’t the comments you’ll get today. It’s ones that you get three months from now after someone googles “women in men’s jobs” and thinks you’re being serious.

    It’s like a gift that keeps on giving.

      1. @Avitable, SciFi Dad totally stole my comment. Now, I’m sorry, I have to get back to the job that I don’t get paid for but if I stop will result in children DYING. Heh.

  5. Bwahaha…I’m with SciFi Dad. Can’t wait to see the crazies leave their comments on this one. Good luck with that!

    And…if my husband and I don’t find jobs soon…I guess there’s always a future in porn to pay the mortgage. Right?

  6. I knew I didn’t go into the right career, here I thought I was being jipped when I really just took a wrong career path. Thank you Avitable for enlightening me, I knew you were wise after the Vaginally Challenged session. I am off for some implants or to take over Harpo. Decisions Decisions!

  7. Thanks for presenting the other side of the arguments. I’ll pile on and say that, having observed the legal industry for 10 years, women tend to bail and become “of counsel” after having babies. I’ve seen many bail from firm life even before having babies, because they actually care more about a fulfilling life than they they do about billing 2500 hours a year and making $200k. Silly, shallow women! Finally, women are, on the whole, more risk averse than are men. This means they are less apt to quit a well-paying job to work for themselves, where the risk and reward are potentially higher. Consequently, look around an in-house legal team, government entity, or the “of counsel” section of a law firm letterhead, and you’ll see more women. Look at the local Trial Lawyers’ Association roster, and you’ll see dramatically more men. And everyone knows it’s the trial lawyers representing plaintiffs who make the largest salaries!

    Equal work should command equal pay. But the way to get really ahead in this country is to take risks and work harder than what’s considered normal. Unfortunately, women who choose to have children are unlikely to choose the risks and 60+ hour work weeks. My wife, of course, is the exception. So are several women in the blogosphere. But they’re not the norm.

  8. Wow. Here all along I thought I was doing so well in a mans world. Then you bring up the income on house cleaning and I realize I am not getting jack shit for that, I think I need to go on strike!

  9. I have to disagree on the pharmacy thing because two of my pharmacists are hot little Asian bunnies, which is why I give them my business. I’m okay if they miscount my pills or occasionally give me liquid laxative instead of insulin because they’re pretty. We can’t rely on the men to look pretty in the workplace, so I think it’s time for you to adopt my ultra-liberal stance that it’s okay for the hotties to go to work as long as we oppress them with limited job opportunities and still insist that they deliver the babies and cook the meals, although not necessarily at the same time.

  10. You’re totally right about that whole math thing.

    A woman could supplement her income by using her lack of math skills as a defense for screwing up constantly. Discrimination laws would prevent her from being fired because it’s not her fault she’s a woman and, therefore, bad at math. She could then turn over a pretty hefty profit by selling those filched pills and level the economic playing field between herself and those mean men pharmacists.

    Of course, this is assuming a woman would be smart enough to hatch this plan.



    Stupid women.

  11. Is this for serious? These aren’t even the same kinds of jobs! It’s like comparing apples to oranges instead of apples to apples. Those aren’t jobs that are typically meant for men, while the items in the first list can be done equally well by both men AND women. The proper comparison to your first list would be something like a jock-strap tester, which would fit perfectly in this case since obviously you’re nothing but humongous dick!

    I’m not sure how you have as many readers as you do but it would seem they are just as dense as you are if they come back for this misogynistic drivel. I can’t find your mailing address anywhere on your website, would you mind emailing me so I can send this club and tunic that I’m pretty sure you’re missing.

    1. @Are you kidding???, Believe me….if you really wanted to send him that club and tunic, it’s really easy to get his address. It’s on this website somewhere. If you can’t find it, email me and I’ll give it to you. I love it when he plays dress up. It drives me wild.

    2. @Are you kidding???, Um. OK.

      1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
      2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
      3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.”

      Annnd, you’re welcome.

  12. I need to be a porn star pharmacist for that kind of jack! Everyone knows women are excellent multi-taskers. I can do the brown-chicken brown-cow while dealing the dope, especially since Grant doesn’t mind the ocassional screw up. It’s the perfect financial plan!

  13. Its posts like these (and all the comments; especially the ones from people like “Are You Kidding?”) that remind me why I love you.

    Keep up the good work…which you obviously should be paid more for than the likes of womenfolk like me.

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