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Today is the birthday of two friends. One, Grant, is a tech geek, war vet and Asian fetishist, and the other is a quiet, meek, demure bookworm. Hahaha, just kidding – it’s Sybil!

Even though these two are pretty different, they have some similarities as well:

  • They both have vaginas. Grant’s is just made of silicone and in his top drawer.
  • Neither of them have ass-raped me, but they’ve both expressed interest.
  • They both suffer from disabilities. Grant has diabetes, and Sybil has some type of chronic glaucoma or other medical issue that requires constant treatment 420 times a day.
  • Neither of them have ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, although Grant danced with someone who called him a white devil, and Sybil fucked some guy in a devil suit.
  • They’re both old as fuck.
  • Both Grant and Sybil are very nice, caring people who have surprised me with the size of their hearts.

Happy birthday, fuckers!

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14 Replies to “Birthdaypalooza”

  1. Grant

    The penultimate line has a misspelling – “hearts” is actually spelled “penis”. Just call me Mr. Tic-Tac. But I forgive you, baby, if you’ll wear that dress the next time I try to ass-rape you.

  2. muskrat

    Awesome…happy birthday to these fine peeps. And, I’m glad to make the birthday picture. I was just thinking about how infrequently I show up on this blog and how badly it hurts me that I don’t.

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