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Today is the birthday of two friends. One, Grant, is a tech geek, war vet and Asian fetishist, and the other is a quiet, meek, demure bookworm. Hahaha, just kidding – it’s Sybil!

Even though these two are pretty different, they have some similarities as well:

  • They both have vaginas. Grant’s is just made of silicone and in his top drawer.
  • Neither of them have ass-raped me, but they’ve both expressed interest.
  • They both suffer from disabilities. Grant has diabetes, and Sybil has some type of chronic glaucoma or other medical issue that requires constant treatment 420 times a day.
  • Neither of them have ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, although Grant danced with someone who called him a white devil, and Sybil fucked some guy in a devil suit.
  • They’re both old as fuck.
  • Both Grant and Sybil are very nice, caring people who have surprised me with the size of their hearts.

Happy birthday, fuckers!

14 thoughts on “Birthdaypalooza”

  1. The penultimate line has a misspelling – “hearts” is actually spelled “penis”. Just call me Mr. Tic-Tac. But I forgive you, baby, if you’ll wear that dress the next time I try to ass-rape you.

  2. Awesome…happy birthday to these fine peeps. And, I’m glad to make the birthday picture. I was just thinking about how infrequently I show up on this blog and how badly it hurts me that I don’t.

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