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New Porn Titles of 2010

Every year, adult film companies come up with oh-so clever porn films that have titles very similar to blockbuster films out at that moment. Some examples of this marketing genius would be Good Will Humping, Bareback Mountain, and Pump Friction.

I’ve decided to give the adult film industry some help by coming up with the names to use for their upcoming adult films. And while nothing I can come up with will be close to 30 Rock’s “Fresh-Ass, Based on the Novel Tush, by Ass-Phire”, I shall certainly endeavor to do my best:

  • Hercock Bones: Watch she-male Hercock Bones solve crimes while declaring “It’s analmentary, my dear Cockson.”
  • Assatar: What’s better than lots of buttsex? Lots of BLUE buttsex!
  • Star Taint: For Captain Jessica Tits Krack, the key to saving the galaxy may be in that spot between that taint her vagina and taint her asshole.
  • (500) Dates of Some Whore: One woman, 500 men, and a loose vagina.
  • The Fantastic Mr. Cocks: In order to combat the evil women farmers Bongos, Peen and Cunts, Mr. Cocks must use his every wit and his 12-inch monster cock.
  • Sperminator Salivation: The evil computer system Skytit has developed an unkillable fuck machine to wipe out all humans – well, the males, at least.
  • GI Ho: The Rise of Boobra: Can this team of men culled from the world’s best branches beat Boobra? Will they be fast enough, hard enough, and thick enough?
  • Fast and Bi-curious: A team of drag racing men, all former convicts, band together to race through Los Angeles and explore each other’s taut, muscular bodies. Starring Vin Diesel.
  • The Sucking of Pell’s Ham 1 2 3: The NYC subway system hosts this subway car orgy.
  • Jennifer’s Body: A newly possessed cheerleader, played by Megan Fox, turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates.

15 thoughts on “New Porn Titles of 2010”

  1. The Big Short – porn movie version of the current bestseller. Short peckered Quant during the mortgage meltdown.

    Too big to Fail – sequel where Avitable saves the financial system with a cameo dream sequence appearance by ancestor Paolo.

  2. This is fun! I want to come up with porn movie titles.

    The Hurt Cocker
    Iron Cock
    Sher-Cock Holmes
    Alice in Cock-land
    The Men Who Stare at Cocks
    How to Train Your Cock
    Clash of the Cocks
    Nightmare on Cock Street

    Maybe I need more practice. Or more exposure to different genres of porn.

  3. aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

    fast and bi-curious & (500) dates of some whore both seem genius. not that the plot really matters…

    this should be your new business venture.

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