It’s really fucking weird what random shit comes to you when you’re taking a shower. With apologies to Walt Whitman.
O Bama my Bama! The painful part is done;
The country’s weathered pain galore, the tasks before us aren’t fun;
Our peace is near, yet crisis is here, our people all infighting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the journey uninviting:
But O heart! Heart! Heart!
O the country’s heart bleeds red,
Where in our House respect now lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Bama! My Bama! Now is the time to push;
Don’t stop–even though you rid us all of the backwards bush;
For you the road is hard and long- for you the polls a-dropping;
For your head they call, the ignorant mass, racism not stopping;
Obama! Dear leader!
The weight is on your head;
Keep the dream alive and well,
Not fallen cold and dead.
Our country does not become one, our parties hold the power;
The right hand hates the left hand, and the middle just cowers;
United we’d be safe and sound, our voyage closed and done;
No fearful tricks from hateful groups could defeat us as one;
Stop hate, O Dems, and Love, O Reps!
But I fear, with growing brow,
That in the future our country lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Top Tens
The 2010 Avitable Halloween Party
My interview with Caylee Anthony. Yeah, the dead kid.
you are hilarious. nice poetry skillz. the end.
Reply
@Maddie Marie, I’m a poet at heart.
Reply
Twitter: s_csr
says:
I’m glad you finally realize just how racist and ignorant I am.
It took you long enough.
Reply
@Sheila (CSR), I don’t think I said anywhere that you were racist or ignorant – just the people who are calling for Obama’s death (like that FB page) or think he’s some evil Muslim set on destroying America. That’s ignorant.
Reply
Twitter: s_csr
, May 27th, 2010: 10:42 AM
@Avitable, Damn. I will work harder then
Reply
I think that Walt would actually like this.
Reply
@Joy, maybe, or he might try to stab me with his leaves of grass.
Reply
Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
Was that about sex? I only like poems about sex. Generally ones with the word “Nantucket” in them.
PS – The house Walt Whitman was born in is about 5 minutes from where we live. Never been there, but there is a pretty good Mexican food joint right near it that I like.
Reply
@B.E. Earl, well, you know how much Walt loved Mexican food!
Reply
DUDE. I was just thinking about this. Not this poem, rather how my best posts are formulated under the hot, hot shower!
Reply
@Secret Agent Mama – Mishelle Lane, posts or orgasms?
Reply
@Avitable,
Posts may or may not equal orgasms!
Reply
he’s taller than he looks on TV
Reply
@furiousball, it’s a camera trick.
Reply
Well, I read your blog for your wild and strange humor but this post is serious and nicely done. Thanks.
Reply
@alan7933, I can be serious when it’s warranted.
Reply
Twitter: themuskrat
says:
I thought this was a poem about Alabama at first…I was waiting on your glowing praises for the football team that won the national championship. But, no. It was about some kind of boat that looks like a man.
Reply
@muskrat, didn’t even occur to me – is their nickname “Bama”?
Reply
Twitter: missbritt
says:
I thought this was an ode to the Bama football team for a second, and then I was trying to figure out what chic you would be trying to impress by pretending to know anything about college sports.
Reply
@Miss Britt, I would never pretend unless it was a 25 year old redhead from Ireland. Then I’d be a football fiend if necessary.
Reply
@Avitable, I am not 25 or from Ireland but my ancestors are….and I’m a redhead…
Reply
@Just Me, send naked photos.
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
, May 27th, 2010: 9:55 AM
@Miss Britt, I thought the same thing!
Reply
Why is it that people who don’t like Obama are considered ignorant and racist? I don’t like him and I am neither. I also didn’t care much for Bush. Why do political stances bring out the worst in people? It is just like religion. Drives me crazy.
Reply
@Deb, I don’t think that people who don’t agree with our President are ignorant or racist. I think the ones who think that he’s going to blow up America and is a secret terrorist in disguise and want him to die, plus the ones who call him “nigger”, are ignorant and racist.
Reply
Twitter: lceel
says:
Rather pessimistic, eh?
Me? I rather see political parties as being anachronistic – the tool of their destruction is at hand – it’s called ‘The Internet’. I see ‘representative government’ as being anachronistic – the tool of its demise is at hand – it’s called ‘the Internet’. I see a new motivation for government and it’s called “The Will of the People” – the tool of its propagation is at hand – it’s called ‘The Internet.
And Avitable is its Siren Voice.
Reply
@lceel, I am pessimistic. I think that the divide between parties is growing exponentially, and both sides are too fucking stupid to realize what that’s doing to our country.
Reply
Twitter: GrandeMocha
says:
I do my best thinking in the shower too! I am impressed with your prose.
Reply
@GrandeMocha, thanks.
Reply
This is great.
Reply
I wonder if we could start a new political party called the Internet party and I wonder if we could muster up some clout and power to challenge the greedy 2 super powers? I’m in.
Reply
@Hockeymandad, how about the Avitable party? That might be even better.
Reply
@Avitable, Sorry but when I hear Avitable party I can only think of great can’t miss social events not political power.
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
says:
This is what you think about in the shower? When you’re naked? I just think about showering with beautiful men.
Reply
@Finn, well, I WAS thinking about showering with a beautiful man. Duh.
Reply
Well done, sir.
Reply
@Sybil Law, thanks.
Reply
Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
add me to the list of folks who saw the title and thought you were writing about alabama.
then i started thinking about you in the shower and really didn’t care what political stuff you wrote. i’m shallow like that.
Reply
@hello haha narf, any more sex dreams about me where I’m bad in bed?
Reply
This was truly beautiful Adam.
It makes me wish I was the President.
Or a boat.
Reply
@Clown, you are a boat. A dinghy.
Reply
@Avitable, YOU’RE HEAVY!
Reply
@Clown, DAMN IT!
Reply
I actually liked this- which says a lot because Whitman is my fav and I don’t often like people messing with him. Ok, I am going to stop now before I start saying things that sound like I’m responding to my students.
Reply