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How Ke$ha applies in an Avitable world.

For the past week, my cousin* Leah has been in town from Hawaii by way of Rhode Island, and I’ve been going out more and staying up later than I probably should have been. After dropping her off at the airport at 5 PM yesterday, I’m taking today to recuperate (and come up with a decent interview with Dennis Hopper for tomorrow) because I have an absolute shitload of work that I need to do to get caught up. I thought an appropriate song to motivate me to work would be Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”, but the lyrics needed a bit of updating:

Wake up in the morning feeling like Bea Arthur
Put my manties on, I’m in my chair – I’m gonna work real hard -ah
Before I start, brush my teeth with Colgate Anti-Plaque
‘Cause when I start working, I ain’t got time to slack

I’m talking –
receptionist on my phones, phones
working without any clothes, clothes
paying the people I owe, owe

writing lots of emails
working on all the details
trying to get at least a few sales

Can’t stop, drinkin’ pop
Monday blows my inbox up
Tonight, Imma write
Til I lose my eyesight
Tick Tock, on the clock
But the work day don’t stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh


Ain’t gotta wear pants, but got plenty of clothes
Could be working in an office, but it’s the life I chose
Now, employees come to my house cause I pay decent wages
But they gotta put up with my nudity in stages

I’m talkin’ about –
Everybody workin’ hard, hard
Chargin’ lunch to my business card, card
Shushin’ Jigsaw if she gets too loud, loud

Now, now
Workin’ ’til the break of dawn, dawn
Unless there’s good TV on, on
There’s good TV on, on
Good TV onnnn


I work enough
I’m too tough
On myself, I know,
Yeah, you got me

When my work’s done,
I’ll take a break.
And clean my house
Yeah, take a break.

I work enough
I’m too tough
On myself, I know,
Yeah, you got me

When my work’s done
It’s almost done
Gotta get it done

No, the work don’t stop until I’m dead.


*Leah isn’t technically my cousin. Her mother and my mother have been best friends for 40 years, and Leah’s mother is my godmother. So we call each other “cousin”.

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9 Replies to “How Ke$ha applies in an Avitable world.”

  1. Hockeymandad

    Wow, you write lyrics as good as she pretends to do. I bet you could sing it just as well. Perhaps this can be an idea for theme of Avitaween. Pop stars. But you’d need to register your icon so we don’t have any dance battles breaking out. That would get messy.

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