In the end of September, I’ll be flying up to Vermont to go to my cousin Dennis’s wedding. His fiancee is one of those creative types, and the invitation that she and her sister came up with is clever and cute and funny. In fact, I’d say it’s one of the best wedding invitations I’ve ever seen:
I know that the saying “Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry” was adapted from something they saw online, but it just seems so very apt. It would be a faux pas for me to use it when I get married again and become Mr. Sarah Silverman, so I thought I’d come up with some other options for my future wedding invitations:
- Before too long I can let myself go.
- Our baby will be named “Shotgun Marital Bliss”.
- Hear us say those two all-important words: Open Bar.
- Ninjas couldn’t keep us apart.
- Avitable 2: The Avitabling.
- We make sickeningly cutesy nicknames and baby voices look good.
- It rhymes with shmatrimony.
- Smooch. Clink. Awww. Homina.
- Thundercats Ho!
- We invited our exes so expect some Jerry Springer shit to go down.
My original wedding website, aka The One With The Invitation #FRIENDSPC
The Office Wedding Dance
Elitist baby names
Twitter: nakedjen
says:
dude…i like collecting husbands (it’s my version of reverse polygamy and keeping everyone honest here in UTAH) and i love ALL of those. but i especially love that Jerry Springer shit. i swear to you if there’s a wedding in my future ever again i’m going to use it. Absofuckinglutely.
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@nakedjen, do you have enough exes to have a football game? That could make it even more fun.
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Twitter: nakedjen
, August 21st, 2010: 12:00 PM
@Avitable,
i’d need 12, right? talk to me after burningman. i might be able to field two teams.
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LOVE the invites!
The third one (OPEN BAR) would get me there. Hell – any one of them would.
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@Sybil Law, hell, “open bar” could get you to go to a serial rapist’s torture dungeon.
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@Avitable, Hell yes – sounds like a party! Especially if I got to do some torturin’…
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Twitter: thepsychobabble
says:
#4
Ninjas ALWAYS win.
Unless there are zombies.
Pretty sure zombies can beat ninjas.
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Twitter: Liv2fly88
, August 21st, 2010: 10:06 AM
@thepsychobabble, I’m pretty sure that zombies EAT ninjas. You were one letter off.
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@Liv2Fly88, zombies are too slow. Ninjas rule. Ninja zombies, though? They rule harder.
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@thepsychobabble, ninjas totally kick zombie ass.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Looks like an Al’s French Fry, nom.
Gotta love those crazy Vermonters. Even the imports.
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@Poppy, they live in Boston, actually!
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Twitter: poppycede
, August 21st, 2010: 10:52 AM
@Avitable, ok, imports for a day. What’s so special about Vermont for them? (I’m really asking.)
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@Poppy, that’s where people from Boston go to get out of the city! With the leaves changing and a rural environment, it’s just an idyllic setting for a wedding, I believe.
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Twitter: KaraBedard
, April 6th, 2011: 7:14 PM
@Poppy,
I know this is an old post and all, but holy crap I LOVE Al’s french fries! With vinegar, mmmmmm!
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Twitter: ellemmes
says:
I read the whole list but missed the ninjas line ’cause it’s 2am and I’m in a food coma so I was all “wait…no ninjas?” and aww, sad face. Then I read it again and was like “whew, he didn’t forget the ninjas!” because some things are sacred, like ninjas, and I promise never to food coma stream to consciousness comment again.
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Twitter: ellemmes
, August 21st, 2010: 5:38 AM
@Lisa, Shit. Stream OF consciousness. Why do I never see the last typo until the spinny thing is already going and I can’t take it back?
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@Lisa, it’s not your fault. Ninjas are tricky and sneaky so it makes sense that you wouldn’t see them.
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Love, love, love this post!! Love it. When we get married I want Smooch. Clink. Awww. Homina.
xoxo
ML
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@ML, that one was my favorite. Understated, yet so apt.
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Twitter: NenetteAM
says:
Love the invite! So cute.
I think that, for yours, “Ninjas couldn’t keep us apart” would be perfect.
I know this isn’t a pissing contest, but I think my invite is still the best ever if only for the fact that it mentions Caligula and Larry Flynt.
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@Nenette, did you post that invite anywhere? Link me!
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Twitter: NenetteAM
, August 21st, 2010: 6:33 PM
@Avitable, no, I didn’t post it (Roomie wants to stay incognito, and I’m too lazy to blur out his name), but I should have extra copies around. I’ll send you one… or if I can’t find them, I’ll scan the one I have in my wedding book and email it to you.
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That is a very cute invitation, much better than the standard fancy ones. I didn’t realize you kept that well in touch with Dennis…you are the link to our northern relations lol.
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@Meagan, it’s what I do best.
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Those are clever invites! Lol love the last one!
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@Ashley B, thanks.
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Twitter: HotMess75
says:
I would go with Thundercats Ho!…it says so much, without really saying anything at all.
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@Another Hot Mess, exactly! You know exactly what type of fun wedding that’s going to be, without knowing a damn thing.
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Twitter: HeadlessMom
says:
“Smooch. Clink. Awww. Homina.”
That is perfection on a stick.
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@Headless Mom, thanks!
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That’s just delicious. Hope you have an excellent time… if the invitations are anything to go by, it WILL be a blast and a half. (Oh, and afterwards, you should just swing on up to Montreal for a visit. I’m just sayin’.)
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@Grumble Girl, I might come to Toronto and BlissDom Canada in the end of October . .
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
That *is* a great invitation. I don’t even know them, but I’m excited for them because I think they’re invitation reflects that they care more about who they are and what they want than what people expect about marriage/weddings. Or, you know, they’re just very clever. Either way, me likey.
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@Faiqa, I’d say it’s both. I’m really looking forward to the wedding and not only because it’s casual dress.
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Love their invitation! And yours! Mine would probably be something like:
Because neither of us has a toaster oven
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain…with the shotgun.
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@SisterMerryHellish, I love your first one.
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Very cool invite. As for yours, the Ninjas or the exes would get me there
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@Neeroc, ninjas make everything better, you know.
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Twitter: shellimil
says:
I pick the last one. That’s my favorite!
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@Shelli, it would probably make for the most entertaining wedding, too.
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That’s an awesome invite.
I think your future invites should go like this…
Cover: How I won her heart…
Inside: AVITABALLS!!!
How great would that be?
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@Hockeymandad, that’s genius. My mother would probably die on the spot when she opened it, too. Which would be hilarious. And sad.
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Twitter: alfredliveshere
says:
Ooh, I love that invitation —- that is very cool!
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@Brahm (alfred lives here), I’m sure they’re reading the comments and loving that so many people liked them.
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Twitter: MrsLoulou
says:
So cute and so original!
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@Loukia, yeah, and I think the wedding will be awesome as result.
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Twitter: CountessMo
says:
That has to be one of the all-time coolest invites. For yours, though, I’d go with the “open bar” one.
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@Maura, open bar always wins!
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Vermont still has weddings? How about that.
Having received over 50 of these things over the past decade, I would love to see one that’s actually original in some way, so good for them!
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@muskrat, yeah, same here.
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Twitter: debthaxton
says:
–>All my exes live in Texas.
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@WebSavvyMom, is that a country song?
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Twitter: debthaxton
, August 25th, 2010: 3:32 PM
@Avitable, Yes but not to be confused with “I messed up in Mexico, living on refried dreams”
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