According to CNN, Lady GaGa is now the celebrity with the most followers on Twitter, with 5,720,931 followers as of yesterday morning.
I thought I’d take a scientific look at the types of people who follow the bizarre performance artist:
Out of 5,720,931 followers . . .
- 1,012,050 are actual fans who love her music.
- 321,003 are aspiring drag queens looking for wardrobe ideas.
- 208 are stalkers waiting for her to slip one time with her address so they can hide in her closet and lick her deodorant.
- 194,103 are African Americans who thought this was the account for rap sensation Ladeez GiGi.
- 80,019 are fans of the Royal Family who think that anyone named “Lady” is one of the Royals.
- 661,341 are waiting for her to announce that she’s finally ready to have sex so that they can offer their services. 228,433 of them are women.
- 2,399,071 are homeless men paid by record executives to create Twitter accounts to follow Lady GaGa, Ashton Kutcher, and, for some reason, Barbara Walters.
- 5 are ninjas, but nobody knows that they’re following anyone.
- 5 are pirates, because they have to copy what the ninjas do.
- 1,053,126 are social media experts.