Anyone who’s ever been in sales or seen Glengarry Glen Ross knows about the ABCs of sales. Always Be Closing. So simple, yet so perfect. It’s easy to use as a motivator and impossible to forget.
I think it would be much easier if every job, hobby, and other aspect of life had such a simple mantra using letters of the alphabet.
Dating: Always Bring Condoms
Babysitting: Don’t Eat Feces
Taco Bell Job: Give Him Indigestion
High School Bullying: Just Kidding, Losers
Being Greek: Make Noise: Opa!
Adulterer: Perform Quickie, Run
For Depression: Start Trying Uppers
Gerard Butler’s character from 300: Violently Wrangle Xerxes
Spice Girl: Yell Zig Ah
Police Officer: Be Chewing Donuts
Frodo: Escape From Gollum
Working at the Needle Exchange: Helpfully Inject Junkies
Lesbian: Kindly Lick Muff
Vulcan: Needlessly Observe Protocol
Priest or Nun: Quietly Resist Sex
Andrew Zimmern from Bizarre Foods: Taste Ugandan Venison
Anxious Person: Wanting Xanax Yumminess
And of course, don’t forget the most important mantra for Bloggers: Always Be Commenting.